How to make the right decisions in life. How to make the right decisions in life: tips, techniques
When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often cite the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.
Our life would be completely different if Ctrl+Z operated in life, which would cancel decisions made.
But we are not slaves to our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to dull or disappear altogether. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to bed. Good advice, by the way. It wouldn't hurt to take note! Although for many decisions, sleep alone is not enough. A special strategy is needed.
One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:
- How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
- How will you feel about this decision 10 months from now?
- What will your reaction be to this in 10 years?
By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of making an important decision.
Now let's look at the effect of this rule using an example.
Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend, Kirill. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronica claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly what she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and... She doesn’t have an endless amount of time to develop her relationship with Kirill, who is approaching 40. During these 9 months, she never met Kirill’s daughter from her first marriage, and the cherished “I love you” was never heard in their couple from either side.
The divorce from my wife was terrible. After this, Kirill decided to avoid serious relationships. Moreover, he keeps his daughter out of his personal life. Veronica understands that he is hurt, but she is also offended that such an important part of her loved one’s life is closed to her.
Veronica knows that Kirill does not like to rush into making decisions. But should she then take the step herself and say “I love you” first?
The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came out of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she had to decide whether she would confess her love to Kirill over the weekend or not.
Question 1: How will you feel about this decision 10 minutes later?
Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself for taking a risk and saying it first.”
Question 2: How would you feel about your decision if 10 months had passed?
Answer:“I don’t think I’ll regret it 10 months from now. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Those who don’t take risks don’t drink champagne!”
Question 3: How will you feel about your decision 10 years later?
Answer:“No matter how Kirill reacts, in 10 years the decision to confess your love first is unlikely to matter. By this time, either we will be happy together, or I will be in a relationship with someone else."
Note that the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result we have quite a simple solution:
Veronica must take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Kirill in the end. But without consciously analyzing the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult to her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distracting and limiting factors.
What happened to Veronica after that, you are probably wondering. She still said “I love you” first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation and stop feeling in limbo. Kirill did not confess his love to her. But progress was evident: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and admit that the feelings are reciprocated. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together reach 80%.
Eventually
The 10/10/10 rule helps you win the emotional game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem intense and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.
The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your perspective: consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point that you look at in the present.
This technique puts your short-term emotions into perspective. This is not to say that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you shouldn't let your emotions get the better of you.
It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid having a serious conversation with your boss, you are allowing your emotions to get the better of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, but after 10 months, will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Will you breathe a sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?
What if you want to reward the work of an excellent employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision after 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (what if other employees feel left out), and will it Does the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?
As you can see, short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long term is not the only correct way. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.
How often do you hesitate when you need to make a firm decision? We think this happens all the time. How do we know this? They are like that themselves. Our generation has had the ground cut out from under its feet. When there is no foundation in the form of faith, a value system, it is always difficult to make a decision. You have to focus only on yourself, and not on “Big Brother”, who will gladly make decisions for you. On the one hand, living without such help is difficult and scary - you don’t know where you’re going, you don’t know what will happen tomorrow. On the other hand, when you have to think only with your own head, a strong and enterprising personality is born.
But even the powers that be cannot always make a firm and meaningful decision. Sometimes you have to improvise, because a person by nature cannot analyze everything, predict everything - he cannot be sure of everything. It happens that time works against you, and circumstances work against your enemies. In moments like these, the worst thing you can do is freeze. Men do not fall into a stupor - even in an uncontrollable situation they maintain their sanity. Remember, even if you think that you have nothing to rely on, you are wrong. Your life, your experience, your knowledge, your ideas are something that cannot be taken away. This is your personal foundation, with the help of which we will teach you to make decisions - they will not always be correct, but at least they will be. And this is good.
Choose the lesser evil
Which will never become outdated. If you have to make an unpleasant decision, then assess the risks, write down the negative consequences of each decision, think about the likelihood of failure and choose the decision that will cause you the least problems. If sovereigns were at least occasionally guided by this simple rule, then there would be significantly fewer economic, political and military crises.
Act pragmatically
However, choosing the lesser evil is not always the best decision. Sometimes you need to focus all your attention on the benefits. Forget about moral principles, forget about fear and remember that risks may or may not be justified. If you have a real opportunity to benefit, then why not try it? It would seem that the advice is banal, but in Russia, in our opinion, they very rarely listen to it - the population has completely forgotten about the word “pragmatism”, preferring to it the words “stability”, “spirituality”, “duty”. No, if you want to live well, then you need to make decisions that will bring you money, influence, pleasure, in other words, benefit. This is pragmatism.
Jump without regrets
If you cannot make a pragmatic decision, there may be reasons for this. For example, you may not have enough time for this, or you simply cannot adequately assess the benefits and the risks associated with them. In this case, you need to trust your intuition or chance. Yes, you could be wrong - the chances are 50/50 - but it's better than waiting for the decision to be made for you. If you are afraid to trust your intuition, then there is a simple but effective way to make any decision - toss a coin. Thus, you entrust the fate of the decision to your luck, chance, fate. This relieves you of responsibility (on a psychological level) for making the wrong choice. Life is full of events when you just need to do and not think.
Operate with ideas
Previously, people trusted gods, holy books, and authorities. Many people still rely on such authorities when they think about what decision to make - this is normal. This behavior is inherent in human nature. The beauty of the 21st century is that today you can choose your own authorities, build an ideological concept yourself, which may not work for the entire society, but will work for you. If you have principles, your own understanding of honor or moral guidelines, then why not use them when you make your choice? Just ask yourself questions: “Am I doing the right thing?”, “Does my decision correspond to my ideas?” “Am I doing something wrong?” The answer will not always be clear, but one way or another you will be able to make a choice.
Simplify your choice
If we talk about everyday things, then a man should be simpler - as it was before. For example, if a man was choosing a shirt in a store, he looked at the size, color and, perhaps, shape - everything. Nowadays, due to the abundance of shirts, you cannot choose the right one, not because there is none, but because there are too many of them, and you get too hung up on things. The same goes for food and drink. If earlier there was coffee, today you will be offered mochaccino, cappuccino, macchiato, Americano, latte. You can choose something “suitable” with wild eyes, but the essence will be the same - you will choose coffee in any case. So why not immediately choose “just coffee”? Why spend a whole hour choosing a movie in a cinema when you can just see the poster and choose the first movie that comes along that more or less corresponds to your interests? Be simpler - and then life will stop being so complicated.
Do not do anything
The absence of a decision is also a decision. But only if we are not talking about fear of choice. When you are afraid to choose, then you always and everywhere make a bad decision, even if everything ends well for you. When you don't consciously choose and remain motionless, then you make a good decision, even if the outcome is sad. The point is awareness, not results.
Our life is a constant series of decisions. They can be both minor and quite serious, which have a great impact on us and lead to serious changes. A person constantly decides what to buy for lunch, where to go in the evening, what book to read, what university to go to study, what profession to choose, how to make a million and so on. And if the cost of the issue is small, then the decision is given to us easily and made quickly, because the loss in case of an error will be small. But the more serious the choice is, the more difficult it is to make. In this case, the right decision can lead to great success, or, on the contrary, it can cause losses and failures. Therefore, it is very important to know how to make the right decision.
Be sure to set yourself a time frame to make the right choice. The presence of a constraint forces you to choose the most effective solution in a given situation. This process is described by the so-called law of forced efficiency.
To make the right choice, you need to collect as much information as possible. The more facts you have at your fingertips, the easier it will be for you to make effective choices. This way you can more or less objectively assess the situation.
Remember that emotions are your enemy in decision making, because during a surge of feelings you cannot think objectively and detachedly. Try to wait for the moment when everything boils over in your soul, and only then get down to business, because in the heat of the moment you can make far from the best decision.
Remember that if the search for the right course of action is related to work, then you can shift this issue to someone else. This way you will save yourself a lot of time. In addition, if you complete a task once, you can expect to have to do it repeatedly. Additional workload without corresponding dividends is absolutely useless. Therefore, think as rationally as possible, because delegation of authority– a very convenient tool for “unloading” your work schedule.
As you make your decision, be sure to prioritize your considerations. Structuring thoughts according to the principle of importance is an excellent skill that will allow you to quickly find an effective way out of any situation. If this skill is not developed, when analyzing complex problems you will constantly get confused in your own reasoning. In addition, there is a risk that you will take the wrong criterion as the basis for making a decision, which will lead to unclear consequences. With a high degree of probability, your choice will be ineffective, and often also a dead end. By making mistakes, you can, of course, develop your decision-making skills over time. But by breaking the so-called “review” of the choice, you will not be able to determine the cause-and-effect relationships that explain why the decision was correct or vice versa. Therefore, before a difficult choice, it is advisable to structure all your thoughts and make a “priority rating” of various factors in your head.
Fear of possible failure also prevents you from finding the right solution. Many fail because of this ineffective feeling. In order for fear not to interfere with you, you need to analyze in detail the consequences that this or that choice can lead to, and then act.
It is best to remain calm when making a decision. If you are a rather suspicious person, you can relax by listening to your favorite music, resting, or, in extreme cases, drinking a sedative.
Objectivity is another factor that will ensure making the right decision. You need to remain honest with yourself and not artificially embellish the facts that contribute to the wrong choice.
Prioritization is one of the most important components when evaluating different options for action. Think about what is most important to you: money, career, family, etc.
In addition, costs must be assessed, since this factor can have a serious impact on the effectiveness of a particular solution.
Most of us very often regret what we have done, believing that we made the wrong choice. In fact, if you think soberly, you can come to the conclusion that there are no right and wrong decisions. If you are committed to achieving goals, and this goal is a priority and important, all actions towards it will be absolutely correct. Choosing the right solution is quite subjective, so be guided by your desires.
Situations often arise that the choice can be postponed until some details are clarified in cases where the delay will not cause any harm. However, you can fall into a trap when new facts increasingly complicate the decision-making process, and unexpected information arises that requires clarification. This paradoxical effect manifests itself in the fact that the more effort and persistence you put into achieving a result, the worse things turn out for you. Or in other words, the longer you take to solve a problem, the more unclear facts about it come to light.
Time in any case limits the ability to analyze various options. Refusing a choice is also a definite solution, although it can often be the most ineffective. For example, if you cannot choose between two professions that are suitable for you, you risk ending up unemployed or becoming an unskilled laborer. In such a situation, any option will be more beneficial for you than refusing to choose. And if you still can’t decide, then it would be better to make a decision at random rather than abandon it.
There are times when a hasty decision leads to disaster. In such situations, it is best to wait some time to assess the problem. However, you need to remember that you also cannot delay the moment of making a decision for long (this is especially true for work), since you may either get ahead of you, or the situation may escalate. And then you will regret that you did not make a choice earlier. Only people in high positions can allow themselves to think through various options in detail, because they know that no one else can make a decision except them.
It is not necessary to solve a serious problem solely on your own. You can always consult with your friends or family. A task voiced several times will clarify the situation as a whole, and it will be much easier for you to find a simple and ingenious way out of the current situation. In addition, your interlocutors can give really good advice. The only point is that you shouldn’t tell everyone about your problems, because this way you won’t get anywhere, but will only waste a lot of time on useless complaints. Besides, everyone is ready to give advice, and too much advice can easily confuse you.
If you are used to relying on the opinions of loved ones, then in situations that require prompt action, you can imagine in your head what your friend would advise you. This kind of internal dialogue can be incredibly helpful in many cases.
When making decisions, ignore emotions that are aimed at achieving a quick result. Such false zeal can play a cruel joke on you. In order to avoid possible negative consequences, you should use Susie Welch's “10-10-10” method, which consists of guessing where your decision will lead in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.
Always look for alternative opportunities. You should not completely give preference to just one idea, blindly believing in its correctness. Come up with at least a few more options to compare with your first. Imagine that the original idea simply does not exist, and think about what you will do in such a situation. You will definitely find several more alternatives.
If you still can’t decide 100%, go to bed, and a great solution may come to you overnight. This is explained by the fact that our subconscious knows all possible ways out of the current situation. During sleep, a continuous process of analysis will take place, and in the morning your subconscious mind can give you the best option. Before you go to bed, ask yourself the question again, then put a pen and a piece of paper near you. This is necessary in order to quickly capture a thought if necessary.
Don't ignore your intuition methods for developing intuition), because our inner voice makes mistakes much less often than our mind. Therefore, before making a decision, try to listen to your feelings. If you experience any discomfort, then you should reconsider other options.
Now you know what helps you make the right decision. Let's look at how to stick to your chosen option.
How to follow a decision
Once you have made a decision, start acting immediately without delay, since any kind of delay will only reduce your chances of success. achieving success. In addition, you are sowing the seed of a bad habit of constantly procrastinating, which can lead to you never achieving your intended results.
Remember that changing your decision after you have already passed halfway to the goal is at least ineffective. Be true to your original views. This way you will build confidence that you are doing everything right, and success will not be long in coming. However, be careful. If you realize that your path clearly leads to failure, it is better to abandon it as early as possible. Remember that even successful entrepreneurs change course very often. Find a balance between flexibility and persistence. In this case, you will move towards your goal persistently, and you will be able to quickly change your plan of action without much loss for yourself.
Finally, it should be noted that in order to learn to make the right decisions, personal experience should be used. At the same time, be guided by the above tips, because your decisions cannot be correct in 100% of cases. Constant changes in the surrounding reality force you to change. So be flexible in the process of choosing the right solution. Remember that your methods may fail, no matter how perfect they seem to you. Experiment more and take tactical steps that are unusual for you, because the comfort zone in which you are used to being leads to degradation. Personal experience is one of the most faithful advisers.
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Throughout our lives, we repeatedly have to make various decisions. And it often happens that we hesitate: should we do this or that way?Or we don’t even understand what to do... What to do in such cases? How to behave so as not to regret what you did later? In fact, there are many ways that will help you.
Method one. Reasoning.
It is suitable for people who think rationally and are used to reasoning with.
Try to calculate the consequences of this or that action. It's best to write down all the pros and cons on a piece of paper to make it clearer. Let's say you've been offered a new job, but you're unsure whether to accept or not. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two halves and on one half write down all the advantages of the proposed position, for example, “high salary”, “growth prospects”, “social package”, on the second - negative factors - “work far from home”, “irregular schedule” , “little information about this company”, etc.
Look at both halves of the sheet and count how many pros and cons you have. Now highlight what is your priority. After all, let’s assume that salary and career can completely compensate for some inconveniences. And it also happens that money and career are not the main thing for you, but you want to return home early and spend the weekend with your family. This method will simply help you visually put everything into categories, and this will make it easier to finally make a decision.
Method two. Intuition.
Suitable for people with an intuitive type of thinking. Listen to what. If you have been offered a job or, say, marriage, and the offer seems good, but for some reason you are not inclined to accept it, then maybe it’s not worth it? And, on the contrary, if your mind doubts, but your heart tells you to do just that, shouldn’t you follow its lead? If your intuitive premonitions have already been justified before, then that means you can completely trust them.
Method three. Try your luck.
This is for magically minded citizens. We're talking about different ones. Not even necessarily traditional ones, like cards or the I Ching. You can simply wish: “If the next candy I take out of this bag is green, then I will go to this place, and if it is red, then I will refuse the trip.” The main thing is to get the candies without looking.
You can also “tell fortunes” using a watch. Experts say that if on the dial, when you glance at it. there will be a “jackpot” - say, 11 hours 11 minutes, then you can rest assured: the upcoming meeting or undertaking will be successful for you. If the first two digits are greater than the second two, say 21 hours zero three minutes, you should not rush to make a decision. If, on the contrary, for example, the clock shows 15:39, it means that time is pressing for you: hurry up so as not to miss your chance.
Now special balls for decision-making have appeared on sale. You formulate a question, shake the ball and look at the answer in the window. Just remember that the ball does not predict the future, but only tells you what to expect and how best to act in a given situation.
Method four. Reading the signs of fate.
Suitable for those who are interested, if not in mysticism, then in psychology and. When thinking about a solution, pay attention to what is happening around you. Suppose you are planning to go somewhere, but you are not sure whether to go or not. And then suddenly the phones start ringing and you are bombarded with requests from friends, you lose the keys to your apartment and discover that the sole of your shoe has fallen off... Most likely, Providence is telling you: it’s not worth going to this meeting.
Or someone offers you cooperation, and his last name turns out to be the same as that of a person whom you knew many years ago and with whom you had some kind of unpleasant situation... Is it a coincidence?
Or you are planning a tourist trip, and suddenly, by a strange coincidence, you come across a post on the Internet from a former client of that same travel company, who recalls with horror how he used its services...
They ask you to borrow a large sum, and then the title of the note catches your eye: “Company N has gone bankrupt”...
You have had a stabbing pain in your lower back for three months now, but you can’t decide whether to go to the doctor. And then you catch a snippet of someone else’s conversation on the subway: “I did an ultrasound yesterday, they said there was a kidney stone...”
You are wondering whether to go on a date with the gentleman who invited you, and on the radio they sing: “Don’t go to meet him, don’t go. He has a granite pebble in his chest.” Why not a hint?
A “picture” can also carry a hint. For example, you are not sure whether you should connect your destiny with this particular person. And suddenly you see a couple of tender swans on the pond. Or, on the contrary, you meet a couple of cats desperately fighting on the street... Draw the appropriate conclusions.
Of course, you shouldn’t take literally every little thing for granted. But if a word or event caught your attention, stuck in your memory, or it clearly seemed to you that “it’s all about you,” that it’s connected specifically to your situation, then it makes sense to take it into account. Good luck with your decisions!
A person’s entire life consists of a series of decisions made – big and small. The whole future life depends on some of them. Many people have difficulty when faced with making a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process more effective, and what methods can be used to do this.
Every day life presents us with a choice, presenting us with various tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? Which phone should I buy? Where to go on vacation during your vacation? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Should I quit my job or stay? There are decisions that don’t really affect anything, but there are those that radically change your life.
All people behave differently when making decisions. There is a category of people who are called “don’t care”. They are never tormented by choice, because they give preference to the first or simplest option. They put on the clothes that are the first to be taken out of the closet, go on a date with the first person to invite them, take the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t It's worth the effort.
Another category of people is guided by intuition when making important decisions. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not very many such people.
The majority of people are individuals who have difficulty making choices. They suffer, doubt, weigh every option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you belong to the category of such people and do not know how to make a decision when in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn several methods that make the selection process easier.
Method 1. “Descartes Square”
The essence of the method is to consider the problem facing you from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. In each part, write one of the questions:
- What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
- What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
Think and write the answer to the question in each square. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and refusing to implement it, you can understand which decision is best for you to make.
If you don’t know what to do in a particular situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Popular wisdom says that every person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides him on the right path. The Guardian Angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through a loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.
Method 3. “Expanding the framework”
The problem with most people is that they force themselves into narrow boundaries and do not see alternatives. They tend to get caught up in the “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to take out a car loan. You see only two options: take a car loan or continue using public transport.
By expanding your choice, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse the loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and avoid using public transport; you can even change your job by getting a job in another company located close to your home; You can negotiate with one of your colleagues to give you a ride to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.
Method 4. “Disappearance of options”
Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to get a job with has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other, no less interesting options for a relatively new job that you have not seen before because you were fixated on one.
Method 5. “Glass of water”
The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, founder of the Silva Method, author of books on unconventional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour clean, unboiled water into a glass. Take the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that worries you and clearly formulate the question that requires a decision. Then, slowly, drink half the glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”
Place a glass with the remaining water near your bed and go to bed. First thing in the morning after waking up, drink some water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.
Method 6. “Delay”
If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you're excited and your brain is overloaded with information, it's very difficult to make the right choices. Remember how often you made the wrong decision in a hurry and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, and once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require instant decision making, so don’t be afraid to put it off for a while.
Method 7. “Own the information”
Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to choose. When it comes to purchasing a product, read reviews about it on the Internet. When deciding to change jobs, learn everything about the position you will be taking and the people who worked there before you. If possible, track down these people to get first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.
The more important the decision you make, the more responsible you should be in finding the information you need. This way you will protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.
Method 8. “Drop your emotions”
Emotions greatly interfere with making the right decision because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally agitated person is unable to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, malice, as well as intense joy and euphoria are bad advisers in decision making.
If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. This way you will protect yourself from rash actions and their consequences.
How to get rid of emotions?
Even when you realize that emotions are preventing you from making the right choices, you can't always get rid of them. To make this process easier, use simple methods.
10/10/10
This method allows you to put aside immediate impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?
Let's say you want to take out an expensive car on credit. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? You will probably be euphoric, rejoicing at your purchase. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden and will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and requires repairs, or maybe you are so tired of it that you want to sell it.
The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you did later.
Stay in the dark
A good way to calm your emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person and helps put his thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this was done so that gold and precious stones would play and shimmer better in the rays of light? Not just for this. Marketing experts know that bright lights are more likely to make people make impulse purchases.
If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a dim or dark room and reconsider the consequences of your choice.
Breathe deeply
Another simple but effective method that helps in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow, deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”
Think about what you would advise a friend
To reduce emotions and cool down the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who are faced with the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
Many people notice this peculiarity in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their friends, but when they find themselves in similar situations, they behave extremely stupidly. This happens because, looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves in the middle of a problem, a lot of little things come up that we attach too much importance to.
The ability to abstract yourself and look at a situation with an unbiased mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.
Method 9. “Following life priorities”
Each person has his own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choices. Always stick to these values and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of dedication from you; the second is less prestigious and does not have such a high salary, but you don’t have to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?
To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.
Method 10. “Intuition”
Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you a way out when rational methods do not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, but your inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe we should listen to him?
Develop intuition, and it will become an excellent assistant in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.
If you find yourself in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or better yet, use several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best and will be able to use it in a variety of life situations. By learning to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.
