Mikhail Zadornov. TV works for cattle

The Russian satirist Mikhail Zadornov in his monologues most liked to compare the mentality of Russians and Americans, to analyze the relations between men and women, as well as life in Russia and abroad. The editors of RIAMO have collected the most popular topics of Zadornov’s speeches.

About "stupid" Americans

Mikhail Zadornov’s favorite jokes were Americans, which is why the satirist couldn’t even get an American visa.

“I don’t want people to say about our tourists: they are even dumber than the Americans,” said Zadornov.

Among his most striking statements about Americans:

“The American put the sandwiches in the safe instead of the microwave and set the heating time”

“The American couple proudly says: in the summer we were in Paris, and then in France”.

About American and Russian tourists

Very often Zadornov ridiculed the behavior of Americans and “ours” in the same situations on vacation. His popular monologue about the differences between Americans and Russians contains the following phrases:

Americans: “It’s a disgrace—I put my shoes out in the hallway to clean at night, and they disappeared.”

Russians: “Some fool put out brand new boots for the night.”

Americans: “It’s a disgrace, there are only local channels on TV.”

Russians: “Great, there is a TV in the room.”

Americans: “It’s a disgrace, we waited half an hour for the receptionist to take our things!”

Russians: “It’s a disgrace, some guy in a hussar’s costume tried several times to steal our suitcases!”

Americans: “Nightmare! The water in the pool is so cold, it’s impossible to swim!”

Russians: “The water in the pool is great! Five minutes - the beer is cold and you’re sober.”

The satirist also liked to joke about Russian resourcefulness in different situations where “our cleverness” worked.

Zadornov describes a situation when “our people” on a highway in America missed an exit and began to reverse, and a car crashed into them. The police were told that they were not keeping their distance and were released. The police decided that the Americans were drunk since they claimed that the Russians were driving backwards.

"Only our people..."

“Only our people...” and “Only with us...” are Zadornov’s famous phrases, with which the satirist began many of his speeches.

According to Zadornov, only our people swim right under the sign “Swimming is prohibited”, only our door is opened if they hear “It’s me” on the intercom, and only we have a “bag with plastic bags” in the kitchen.

About Russian signs

The satirist loved to laugh at Russian signs and superstitions:

“If a woman with a yoke comes towards you, you are in the village”

“If a black midge flew over the road, you have good eyesight”

"I don't understand…"

Mikhail Zadornov also ironized the realities of life in Russia. For example:

“How can you keep the commandment “Love your neighbor” in a crowded transport?”

About men and women

Another favorite topic of Zadornov was the relationship between men and women.

“I asked my wife: why are you swearing at the washing machine hose? She: he started it first!”

One friend says to another: I’ll go back to my husband - I can’t look at his happy face.

The satirist also liked to give our women useful advice in his monologues. In particular, choosing short men means saving on clothes, on travel on public transport, children will not ask for a brother, and such a husband will not have a short blanket and the Oka car will not press too hard.

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Well, Zadornov’s next project for the development and pocketing (not yet complete) of people’s money has seen the light of day, so to speak. We would even say, RA-light, gee! Many thanks to the faithful Zadornov lemmings for posting the film online. Now you can slowly RA-watch it and RA-expose the vile anti-Russian ahistorical lies of the elderly linguo-freak-graphomaniac and the obscurantists who have joined him.

(I would like to thank the VKontakte group “Mikhail Zadornov - a liar and idol of rednecks” and personally its admin and faithful comrade Vladimir Sokolov for permission to post a review of this pseudo-documentary rip-off in my zhezheshechka)

From the 2nd minute of the film, Zadornov begins to spit at German scientists of the 18th century who worked in Russia. Like, the damned Germans rewrote the history of the Slavs and all that. But in fact, German science of that time was more than ahead of Russian. And German historians were qualified specialists, unlike the amateur Lomonosov mentioned later in the film.
For example, Gerard Miller was a real high-class researcher, scrupulous in German, led the largest Russian expedition (while Lomonosov was sitting in his offices) and collected a most valuable collection of archival documents.

“Especially important was the huge collection of archival documents exported by Miller, and if he himself used only an insignificant part of them, then for one and a half years they served and continue to serve to this day as an important help for individual scientists and entire institutions. Prince M. M. Shcherbatov, Golikov, Slovtsov, Novikov for “Ancient Russian Vivliofika”, Count Rumyantsev for “Collection of State Charters and Treaties”, the archaeographic commission and others owe a lot to Miller." (With) http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller,_Gerhard_Friedrich
Or Schlozer:

“He did a lot of work on the publication of Russian chronicles. In 1767, the first volume of the Nikon Chronicle, prepared by S. Bashilov under the leadership of Schletser, was published. In the same year, he published the first edition of Russian Pravda.
Along with this work, he also considered it important to promote Russian history in Europe. Schletser used all his trips to Germany and other countries for this purpose, considering and calling himself a Russian patriot." (c) http://www.hrono.ru/biograf/bio_sh/shlecer_al.php
For some reason, it was not the Russian “patriot” Lomonosov (who married a German woman, which is especially patriotic) who did this, but the German Schlözer.
But, of course, citizens who do not know the biographies of these researchers and were brought up on myths about bad German academics, do not know anything like this and blindly believe Zadornov’s lies.

03/03/27 - the fat face of Putin’s hanger-on, the kitschy house painter Ilyusha Glazunov, appears on the screen, reading out Lomonosov’s swear words to Miller. This is very significant - the amateur Lomonosov had nothing but dirty swearing against the conclusions of the specialist historian Miller. His response to Miller's report on the Normans contained no reasoned objections.
Further, Glazunov completely loses ground and says that the Norman theory was picked up by Soviet scientists. Although in fact the USSR was dominated by extreme anti-Normanism, for example: http://rossica-antiqua.livejournal.com/26032.html
And then even more fun - Glazunov lies that Miller took out manuscripts containing news about the Slavs before Rurik. Actually, Miller traveled around Siberia and collected documents from the archives of Siberian cities, where there were no sources about the Slavs before Rurik, and there could not have been. But illiterate ordinary people will lap up this lie and ask for more.

0.07.45 - Moisha Zad-or-nov talks about the patriot Lomonosov, who opposed the Norman theory and allegedly beat Miller. This very speech against the Norman theory forever made Lomonosov a folk historian. But there was no fight with Miller - that’s a myth. And even if there was, then Miller, seasoned on expeditions, would have snatched Lomonosov’s drunk in a couple of seconds.

0.08.24 - “The discoveries of modern scientists are in no way consistent with the Norman theory” - this is a lie. I'll just give some quotes:

“In the Timerevo burial ground, if we calculate the relative number of burials of different ethnic groups, discarding 43% of unidentifiable complexes, as well as burials of the 12th century, in the 10th century 75% of the complexes belong to the local Finnish population, 12% to the Slavs and 13% to the Scandinavians. " (With) http://statehistory.ru/books/18/Lev-Kleyn_Spor-o-vary..

“The Plakun Chamber only testifies to the fact that at the turn of the 9th-10th centuries a group of Scandinavians was present in Ladoga who had an idea of ​​the specific funeral rite of the Frankish-Danish borderland.” (With) http://norse.ulver.com/articles/mihailov/plakun.html

"During the period 1998-2010: 6120 sq. m. were excavated; in 2006, the “burial of a Varangian king” was found, which was defined (by academician P. P. Tolochko) as “the sensation of the year in Ukrainian archeology.”
Since the 1990s, the “Shestovitsky archaeological complex” has been recognized (by historians of Norway and Ukraine) as “one of the largest Viking settlements in Europe” (c) http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shestovitsky_archaeological..

“About a third of all currently known Scandinavian pagan amulets found in Eastern Europe come from the Gnezdovo archaeological complex.” (With) http://norse.ulver.com/articles/novikova/gnyozdov.html

"Scandinavian finds from the territory of Rus' are quite diverse and numerous. More than 1,200 items of weapons, jewelry, amulets and household items, as well as tools and instruments of the 8th-11th centuries come from approximately 70 points scattered over a vast area from Lake Ladoga to the lower Dnieper (Dnieper rapids) and from Minsk to the Kama region." (With) http://petrsu.ru/ScienceActivity/confer/1997/scandi/4..

“In Suzdal itself, two estates of rich warriors of the 11th century were explored. Scandinavian features are clearly visible in the materials of the estates. First of all, this refers to the discovery of a casting mold with a runic inscription: “this Olaf” and an image of the god Odin with ravens. In addition, northern features were traced in details of house construction and numerous Scandinavian objects were discovered" (c) ibid.

“As you know, during security excavations in Pskov in the southern part of the Okolny town in December 2003, an unexpected discovery was made, which forced researchers to partly reconsider the prevailing ideas about Pskov of the 10th century. 1.3 km from the historical center of Pskov - Krom discovered a Scandinavian burial with rich grave goods. Further excavations showed that this burial was not the only one on the site." (With) http://usadba-psk.narod.ru/vargost.htm

And even anthropological Scandinavian features among the population of Rus': http://www.balto-slavica.com/forum/index.php?showtopi..

Moreover, as you can see, the Scandinavians made up the ruling elite of Rus' - kings, guards, rich townspeople. This coincides with the news from written sources that the Rus and Varangians ruled the country.

0.08.35 - the famous charlatan Tolyan Klyosov appears in the frame, who is not even a geneticist, but a biochemist, but loves to rant on the topics of DNA genealogy, on which he does not even have a single scientific article in peer-reviewed scientific journals. Klyosov is a Fuhrer from Harvard who propagates nonsense about long-suffering haplogroups (which do not determine ethnicity, and Klyosov wrote down R1a carriers as Slavs or Proto-Slavs). Among other inventions, he went so far as to reject linguistics and archeology, declare that Arkaim was built by the Proto-Slavs (although the group of people who built Arkaim had nothing to do with the Slavs), etc. In general, the patient is a freak, and it looks appropriate in this film like nowhere else.

09:19 Walking around the State Historical Museum in Moscow, Zad suddenly suddenly began to hear some kind of blizzard about neo-Nazis, neo-fascists and skinheads who are alien to the Slavic nature. This is just enchanting nonsense. Firstly, skinheads are a subculture that has nothing in common with either Zadornov or Nazism. If Zad means the Nazi boneheads, then I must say that all sorts of ... brain-nosed schoolboys believe, for the most part, in the nonsense that Uncle Misha and the whole fraternity of stars he brings from the screen typed into my film. I’ll keep silent about the appearance on the screen of “our everything” Russian movie Sirozhka Bezrukov - because Sergunets was sad and delivered absolutely nothing - no lulz, no drama

0.13.20 - the picture above is what this is all about - at the indicated minute the great “linguist” Zad-or-nov is trying to read the original Laurentian Chronicle and finds himself in a situation that is characterized by the inscription in the picture. A task that any first-year history student can handle after a couple of seminars on paleography, “researcher of the secrets of the Russian language” Zadornov obviously finds it very difficult - he doesn’t know how to read it. But he was friends with Chudinov, a loser, he would have quickly taught Uncle Misha to recognize low-contrast inscriptions (including on photoshopped plaster and bird tracks). Without the librarian's help, I would never have mastered it. Overall, it was a comical little episode.

0.15.40 - “Nestor immediately made it clear that the Varangians were neither Swedes, nor Normans, nor Angles, nor Gotlanders” - Zadornov makes a fuss right after he somehow read in the chronicle the listing of all these tribes among the Varangians “those The Varangians were called Rus, like other Swedes, like other Normans or Angles, and still others - Gotlanders." Complete insanity.

0.17.08. - “And then the chronicle says how the Varangians founded cities with Slavic names and spoke the Slavic language” - in fact, the name of the ancient Russian city of Ladoga, founded by the Normans, comes from the Scandinavian Aldeigya, Aldeigyuborg (and the original basis of this name is Finnish). And, by the way, Nestor, writing two centuries after the calling of the Varangians, did not really know which cities were founded when and by whom. Novgorod, for example, he mentions in 859, but in fact Novgorod was founded only in the 10th century.

0.17.20 - writer Sergei Alekseev babbles about the fact that everyone understood Rurik, and he himself understood everyone. Balabolit, of course, without references to sources at all, and for good reason - in PVL, for example, Rurik is mentioned only twice, and there is not a word about his language. Further steeper - they say, the military culture was the same. This is a lie. The Slavs, for example, did not have swords at all until the Viking Age. And Scandinavia was one of the most serious blade arsenals of the Middle Ages
“A huge number of swords have been found on the territory of Scandinavia (more than 2,200 in Norway alone), more than 200 blades bear the marks of Rhine workshops (Frankish masters). But the weapons were, of course, also produced in Scandinavia itself. Among the archaeological finds of recent years, the discovered one is of particular interest in Norway, the grave of a blacksmith from the mid-10th century. Along with his craft tools, his products were also found, including swords, spearheads, and battle axes." (With) http://norse.ulver.com/articles/gurevich/vikings/ship..

And it is no coincidence that such swords are found on the territory of Rus' in burial grounds with Scandinavian funeral rites - they were brought here by the Normans.

0.18.55 - Zadornov lies that the “Normanists” consider Rurik to be a certain Swede Eric. In fact, researchers almost two centuries ago expressed the idea that Rurik is the Dane Rorik of Jutland. And archaeological finds in the Plakun burial ground near Ladoga confirm the version about the arrival of the Danish squad in Rus' at the end of the 9th century. Another failure, Zadornov doesn’t even know the basics of the theory he’s trying to criticize.
0.20.00 - the standard nonsense began, about the fact that Rurik is the Slavic Rerik, Rarog, etc. But there is not a single medieval source that mentions a Slav with that name in the 9th century. Fail.
But: “850. The Norman Rorik, brother of the already mentioned young Heriold, who fled before, disgraced by Lothar, again took Duurstede and insidiously caused many disasters to the Christians.” (With) http://hbar.phys.msu.ru/gorm/chrons/ksanten.htm

Norman Rorik was known in Europe. No one knew the Slav Rarog-Rerik. and this seems to hint.

Then it’s more fun - Zad began to talk about the coat of arms and symbol of the falcon among the ancient Slavs, but in fact the falcon was not the coat of arms of Rurik. Zadornov, of course, doesn’t know about this, because instead of studying heraldry, as all normal researchers do, he prefers to travel around Europe using people’s money and interview all sorts of liars.
"The table of Doctor of Historical Sciences S.V. Beletsky indicates that the sign of Rurik could not be a trident. Although some researchers back in the 19th century saw the image of a falcon in the trident and attributed the trident to Rurik. (They say, since the Western Slavs call the falcon "rarog" then Rurik = Rorik, of course, is a Slav...). The brothers of Vladimir, that is, Yaropolk and Oleg, as well as the children of Yaropolk, had a Khazar bident as their sign." (With) http://andrey-trezin.livejournal.com/101107.html

0.23.00 - standard demagoguery in a powerless attempt to refute archaeological data - Zadornov claims that many Scandinavian things and weapons near Ladoga do not mean anything, and cites the spread of Kalash in present-day Africa as an example. Any normal person can see the delusion of comparing the modern globalized world with the early Middle Ages, when trade was disproportionately less developed.
For the early Middle Ages, Scandinavian things just show migration - they were brought to Rus' by the Normans who came. In addition, the Slavs simply did not know how to produce some things of Scandinavian origin, and they also could not buy them due to the high cost of such products, and also because they did not travel to Scandinavia. Well, the pagan amulets of the Normans and the characteristic details of their costumes are an indisputable sign of resettlement.

Zadornov is echoed by Sakharov, a disgusting old monster who almost destroyed the IRI RAS and did a lot of harm to Russian historical science. He, of course, does not understand anything about archeology, since he practically did not study science, but was just a conductor of the general ideological line of the party - anti-Normanism. Since Sakharov cannot become famous for good deeds, he became famous exclusively for vile deeds and in every possible way sucked up to the authorities, both under the USSR and under Yeltsinism-Putinism. For example, I recently defended the plagiarist Medinsky (http://www.polit.ru/article/2012/03/16/za_medinskogo/). The appearance of this ghoul in the film is symptomatic - with such supporters, anti-Normanism does not need opponents.

0.24.50 - Zadornov interrogates a ship researcher about the boats used on the “route from the Varangians to the Greeks” and concludes that since only Slavic boats were found, then the Varangians are Slavs. but if Zadoornov had read historical sources before talking such nonsense, he would have learned that the Normans, having arrived from the sea, left the longships and took the river monoxides they had made from the Slavs:

"The Slavs, their paktiots, namely the Kriviteins, Lenzanins and other Slavinians, cut down monoxyls in their mountains during the winter and, having equipped them, with the onset of spring, when the ice melts, they introduce them into the neighboring reservoirs. Since these [reservoirs ] flow into the Dnieper River, then they, from those [places], enter this very river and go to Kiova. They are taken out for [equipment] and sold to the dews, and the dews, having bought only these dugouts and dismantled their old monoxides, are transferred from those. they are equipped with these oars, rowlocks and other equipment... And in the month of June, moving along the Dnieper River, they descend to Viticheva, which is a pactiot fortress of the Ros, and, having gathered there for two or three days, until everyone unites. monoxyls, then set off and then set off and descend along the named Dnieper River "(c) http://www.vostlit.info/Texts/rus11/Konst_Bagr_2/fram..

Since Zad does not read sources, but prefers to make things up from his head, not caring about the evidence of his inventions, the result is logical - confirmation that the Varangians are Slavs only because of river boats did not work out. Fail.

0.25.45 - finally Uncle Mishino’s usual linguo-france. We've been waiting for him so much. This time, the “expert” of the Russian language, Zad, who had difficulty reading the chronicle, strained and said that the Varangians are the ones who cook salt. Salt workers, sort of. Russia was ruled not by any princes, but by simple salt workers, yes, just imagine.

0.26.27 - Serega Alekseev, a painter, says that the Varangians are a profession, and they “did not belong to any nationality.” But among the Varangians there were Scandinavians - Norwegians, Swedes, Icelanders, Danes. And other tribes are somehow not very noticeable there. Further, Sirozha says that the Varangians were engaged in robbery. You can’t understand these freaks - either they cooked salt, or they were robbers. Moishe Zad should have at least come to an agreement with Sirozha so as not to talk about different versions, otherwise some kind of bullshit would turn out.

0.27.25 - Vyacheslav Fomin appears and tells how he was convinced that the Varangians were from the southern Baltic. And he was convinced very simply - he sat in his office and fantasized. Fomin is not an archaeologist, he did not work on excavations, and he has no idea about the Scandinavian antiquities of Rus'. About the Baltic-Slavic ones, however, too - they’re an armchair rat.

0.29.10 - Lidochka Grot, an elderly ma-RA-zmatic granny, appears. For some reason she got it into her head that the “Normanists” derive the name “Rus” from the name of the area of ​​Roslagen, which was flooded in the 9th century. Lidochka, an auntie, oddly enough, is smart, and therefore came to the conclusion, perhaps the most brilliant among all anti-Normanists, that the sea above Roslagen could not be the homeland of the Rus and Rurik. This is certainly a breakthrough in anti-Normanist pseudoscience. Discovery of the year, century and millennium. But the “Normanists” do not even derive the name of the Rus from Roslagen. Lidochka herself, and even Zad himself, will not be able to name the “Normanists” who over the last hundred years have adhered to just such a hypothesis - because the “Normanists” do not have such a hypothesis. It turns out that Zadushka does not even know the basic provisions of the Norman theory, which he diligently criticizes. And instead of criticism, he ends up with demagoguery in the style of “let’s attribute nonsense to the opponent and refute this nonsense, without even looking at the scientific facts cited by the opponent himself.”

0.32.18 - traveler and explorer Vitalka Sundakov appears, who says: they say, inviting a stranger would be absolute stupidity. But the Scandinavians were not strangers to Rus' at all - they lived here more than a hundred years before Rurik, from the middle of the 8th century, when they founded Ladoga: “there is no doubt that the first inhabitants of Ladoga were people among whom the dominant position was occupied by a group of Normans. It seems that it was small and quite monolithic. Along with men, there were women and, probably, children of other cultural traditions, if they were in its composition, they did not occupy a leading place." (With)

We have presented a comprehensive illustration of the root Ra in Russian and foreign languages. That is, everything that scientific linguistics, represented by its brightest representatives, regularly rejected S. Starostin, IN. Zhivov , A.Zaliznyak , Vyach. Ivanov, currently living: A. Barulin, S. Burlak, A. Kibrik, I. Levontina, as well as those gaining strength: Mikitko, PhD Yu. Kirillov and other para- and simply specialists language.

The main opponents will be linguists: Ph.D. Alexander Barulin, promoter of the Polish language Mikitko son Alekseev, scientists are the heroes of the program “ Gordon Quixote", as well as amateurs and specialists who somehow appeared in this Zadornovsky Ra.

What Ra has nothing to do with the Sun, God or the Russian language as a whole, any linguist today can tell you, tell you with all the conviction. The reader will be more curious to know that the names we listed were not only wrong, but also why they were wrong. Moreover, almost everyone without exception did this, from the greats - living and those who have already passed away, to the shabby graduates of a failing philology department. To our surprise, he rejected the argument Ra and comrade Zadornova Doctor of Philology Alexander Dragunkin: “For example, I also skeptical I belong to the root " Ra-". I probably did this, like most of us, by unconditionally trusting the evidence of academic science.

Here are some open online statements regarding our heroes:

« Mikhail Zadornov- a liar and redneck idol ». « Zadornov(half Jewish, on his mother's side), just like Chudinov, loves to distort the Russian language, especially loves the invented morpheme Ra». « Zadornov - He’s a buffoon in life, but this time he didn’t get into his groove.”

« Zhivov half Jewish, on his father's side, a researcher of the history of the Russian language. In general, comrade respects and loves the language very much. What motivates people who don’t respect Zhivova, but at the same time respect Zadornova And Chudinova? People, where is your logic?

« Gordon origin is a Khazar Jew, although, in fact, he is a Jew. Because everything is clear..."

“It’s a golden ass!” (So Victor Zhivov I deciphered the last name as a joke Zadornova: back - ass, or - yell (plow), -ov - ending).

Zadorny could not help either V. Chudinov, who, instead of searching for inscriptions on stones visible only to him, would have better dealt with this, real problem!

Alexander Tsekalo forces comedians to cut out jokes for censorship reasons.

The satirical writer Mikhail ZADORNOV almost broke his contract with the REN TV channel right during the New Year, where his holiday concert was “castrated” for censorship reasons. The incident led to Mikhail Nikolaevich becoming completely disillusioned with the “zombie” and asking fans to rid their apartments of this harmful electrical appliance so that they would have more time to read books and have intimate relationships.

During the New Year holidays I never turned on the TV. This is the subject of my boasting! Scandals don't interest me, vulgarity spoils the mood, advertising creates the feeling that the world is filled with idiots who believe them. Most of the shows are live coverage from Bald Mountain. And all this together can be called in two words - “boring fun”!

And what did I lose as a result? What very important thing did you not learn about in time? That Kirkorov gave birth to a daughter, that Galkin and Pugacheva got married and their wedding night was successful. What else? Oh, yes - Anatoly Chubais is marrying Duna Smirnova! Therefore, if before she made good films, now she will make expensive ones with money from the privatization of Lenin’s GOELRO plan.

In general, I cannot discuss specific programs, and I have no desire to do so. I’ll just focus on this: most often in the first six days of the new year, I heard the same phrase that I was tired of back in my student years: “Well, there was simply nothing to watch on New Year’s holidays! The same faces on all channels.” Our people are stubborn, after all: they watch nightly New Year’s shows until four in the morning, and then at five or six they declare: “Well, there’s just nothing to watch!”

But what surprises me most is that people are sincerely surprised by this! Well, every time you have to hope for some truly bright television program, which before the New Year can please, improve your mood, give hope that in our country there are still many talented, including young, actors, directors, singers, humorists, and not just a “glass menagerie” of transformed faces.

Modern programs are created by producers! They call television programs the professional word “product.” And they sell it in the same way as sausage is sold in stores.

Now I’ll tell you something about these producers.
One of the producers, leaving with his family for permanent residence in Israel several years ago, had his children’s appendix cut out in advance, because if it needed to be done in Israel, “it would be a little more expensive.”

Another very famous producer and TV presenter, who influenced the development of our television, gave an interview to a journalist in a restaurant where he invited her, and for an hour and a half during the conversation he ate the most exquisite dishes, but did not even offer her a glass of mineral water.

One day, after Channel One filmed my concert, producer Alexander Tsekalo began to explain to me which jokes needed to be cut out for censorship reasons. Can you imagine something like this? A person who positions himself as modern-minded seriously feels like an ordinary Soviet censor. At the same time, however, he refers to the fact that the higher-ups ordered this. And no one ever specifies what the top are.
That's what it turned out to be!

There is no need for censors who are as outspoken as in Soviet times. It is enough to give money to producers so that they are afraid of losing it, and then the democratic producers themselves will become Cerberus censors.

This fashion for “cut-outs” was once set by the Second Channel, since it “lives” on budget money given by the Kremlin. That’s why his entire production business is built on suckers for this money pipeline. God forbid you lose it. And there is no need to create anything new or dangerous. It’s better to be Akaki Akakievichs.

Oleg Dobrodeev. He was raised in an intelligent family, with a good broad-based education himself, so he understands nothing about modern television. In order to understand, he has a deputy, Gennady Borisovich Gokhshtein: marketer, franchisee, manager and Cerberus rolled into one.

All the on-air foul language has been thrown at him. Although the same Gokhshtein, in fairness it must be said, is a very educated and very witty person. At one time, he even suggested some good reprises to me, which later went viral among the people. And this man with a refined sense of humor today openly tells his wards that the channel’s product is “creative for cattle”!

He often says this phrase to artists: “I know what the Russian people need today!” When young authors came to him and brought an application for a humorous television program, he frankly asked: “Where is the vulgarity?” Otherwise, they say, there will be no rating.
That's why we see the same faces in all shows related to show business. Producers don't need young talent. It takes a long time to unwind them. You can get profit from old people immediately.

Today's mediocre product TV personalities really believe that packaging is more important than content. Because they themselves perceive the world around them only in packages.

Don't look at me!

That is why I once started collaborating with REN TV, but a similar thing began on REN TV: phrases were cut from my last concert purely because of the cowardice of those who head the channel, as well as editors and directors. This virus of fear is contagious. And again I heard several times the same phrase that I had heard many, many times: “It was up there that they demanded to cut it out!” Where is it up? In the Kremlin or in heaven? Oh no! Even higher - channel shareholders!

I didn't even watch my new concert on January 1st. From the point of view of sharpness, he was not just cut - he was castrated. It was a performance by a cheerful satirist-eunuch.
Personally, I believe that the restructuring of our television broadcasting should begin with the state-owned Second Channel. The hypocrisy began with them! Perhaps the right proposal came today from Dmitry Medvedev, to turn this particular channel into public television. No producers. Which TV presenters are now forced to work the way they “see”. It’s time for Andrey Malakhov to teach tongue twisters in theater schools. But the man is talented and capable of more than pretending to be an authority figure during showdowns in the zone.

Alexander Gordon and Vladimir Pozner are narcissists with the ambitions of gladioli!
And all the other Zhindarevs and Bergmans are TV suckers. They exalt themselves by attaching themselves to talented people with one sole purpose - to humiliate them.
And now the main thing. Do you think I think the producers are to blame for everything? No way! It is the TV viewers themselves who are to blame for the fact that so much sewage is being poured onto us from numerous channels! As long as they watch the “product” that is created for rednecks, they are rednecks!

Television is ruled by money. TV producers in the company don't even talk about women. Only about “grandmothers”! One day, while at the table with them, I nevertheless suggested changing their favorite topic and talking about women. One of the producers began to complain that women were starting to cost a lot of money!

The fault is not with the producers who prepare Western dishes for us on a silver platter, lightly sprinkled with our sauce, but with us ourselves, since we are watching it all! And we give a rating. And producers from this rating get a pretty penny! That's what I want at least someone to understand. I watched the program, and it doesn’t matter that you scolded her: a penny still stuck to the producer.

Many will say: “You show your concerts on television. Then you don’t have to watch either.” Of course not!

The taxi didn't stop. I was so cold that I was ready to pay double the meter, if only they would take me home to the warmth as soon as possible. And suddenly... As if a free taxi emerged from the ground and stopped next to me. I rushed to him, but didn’t have time to offer a double meter, because the driver got out of the car, opened the door for me and said:

Please sit down! Probably frozen?

What did you say? - I didn’t understand and even recoiled slightly.

Sit down, I say, quickly,” he smiled softly, “and I’ll turn on the stove.” If that’s not enough for you, I’ll give you a blanket and wrap your feet.

I looked at the car. Light, checkers... Like a taxi.

But I’m going to Chertanovo! - I said uncertainly.

In Chertanovo, so in Chertanovo! - the driver smiled even softer. “Wherever the passengers go, so do we.” Be kind!

Wary, I climbed into the car.

If you don't mind, I'll take you the shortest route? - the driver suggested.

There is no need for the shortest route. - I decided to be on the alert. - Let's go as usual.

Don’t worry, relax,” the boss laughed shyly, “we’ll do everything right.”

A hot, sweet sensation ran down my legs. And the transistor that was suspended from the mirror started playing Chopin. But the good mood did not come. “Why did he lure me into his car and now he’s taking me along an unfamiliar road? “With all my strength, I pressed the briefcase with sausages to my chest.” “I should have sat in the back.” It's safer there. I still have a wife. Twin children... The eldest has already gone to school!

The boss was the first to break the silence.

Which Chopin waltz do you like best? - he asked.

What? - I asked again, but then, so that he would not notice my embarrassment, he said:

I... that's it! What about you?

And to me “C sharp minor,” said the chef.

“What does he want from me? - I feverishly began to go through all sorts of options in my mind.

Looking for good tips? But why so brazenly?”

The boss told me about Chopin's life in the Balearic Islands. Sometimes, carried away by his own eloquence, he switched to English, but then he came to his senses and returned to literary Russian again. “How does he know all this? - I thought - Does a taxi driver have time to read about this? No! Who has it? And where? Really?! - A terrible guess flashed through my head. - In prison!!! This is where there is a lot of time! That means he's a runaway! That's why he behaves in such a way as not to be suspected. And he probably stunned the real driver, tied him up, hid him... Now he's collecting money. He wants to run abroad. They say such cases happen. Exactly! That's why I learned English. That means he was in prison for ten years. Ay-ay-ay! You're in trouble! So be it, I’ll give you a ruble on top. If only he didn’t kill!”

We've arrived! - the boss suddenly announced joyfully.

I looked out the window, then at the counter. Indeed, we were standing at my front door, and the meter showed forty kopecks less than usual. "Recidivist! Murderer! Potboiler!" - I thought and carefully handed the trash can to the boss, dreaming of getting out of the car as soon as possible. However, the door... did not open! And on the street, as luck would have it, we were alone...

“And it won’t open,” the boss said affectionately, “until...

I don't have any more! Just sausages! - I shouted and prepared to defend myself with my briefcase.

Until you take the change! - the boss interrupted me and handed me a ruble and change. Then he got up, walked around the car, opened the door on my side and said: Please! Here you are at home. I wish you first bon appetit, then good night, then happy dreams. And, of course, good morning! And if I did something wrong, please forgive me. If you can!

Confused, I froze on the sidewalk. I realized that I had been deceived. But I didn’t understand what.

I was brought out of my stupor by some belated passerby, who ran up to my taxi driver and smartly asked:

Chief, can you get to Medvedok?

Be kind! Please sit down! - said the “chief”, came out and opened the door for him.

The man became embarrassed, hesitated, cast a helpless glance in my direction, but still climbed into the car. She started moving, and I thought: “Another one got caught!” And I felt better.