Wedding signs: for a strong marriage. To make your marriage strong

Living in a marriage is not very easy, because sooner or later each spouse may have complaints against their partner or grievances, which often cause quarrels and even thoughts of divorce. However, if you want your marriage to be strong and long, then everything is in your hands, you just need to follow the advice that we offer you.

1) First of all, you need to decide once and for all whether you want to stay married to your partner or not. And when the decision has already been made, then understand that you are not able to change your partner and his behavior, so change yourself and drive away bad thoughts about your loved one, do not complain about him and do not allow others to do this.

2) If you don’t like something, try to find options for your behavior, rather than reacting the way you usually do. For example, your husband forgot to pay for water, instead of grumbling or quarreling, you can: a) give your husband a receipt in the morning and call again in the afternoon to remind him, b) pay for it yourself, c) ignore it, seeing how your husband copes with the consequences of forgetfulness (with the water being turned off). in this case). However, the second option is suitable only for minor and minor matters.

3) Remember to take care of your partner every day. This applies more to men, because they rarely do something pleasant, believing that this is enough. It must be remembered that small, but constant manifestations of caring are more beneficial for a marriage than large, but rare signs of love. Women, on the contrary, look after their partner constantly, but the fact is that everyday care (cleaning, cooking, washing, etc.) is perceived by husbands as the norm, so to strengthen the relationship, something else should be done (for example, bring tea to your husband and cookies while sitting at the computer or getting a massage).

4) Since it is almost impossible to avoid quarrels, you need to understand how to quarrel correctly. The main rule is that during a quarrel, it is important to discuss only one issue, without touching on old sins, otherwise it can drag on for a long time and lead to serious disagreements.

5) Try not to impose on your husband the opinions of your relatives, do not allow anyone to manage your relationship, do not be led, since often it is they, our close people, who are to blame for disagreements. There is no need to tell your husband how bad his mother is, he can take her side, don’t start similar topics with him. If a “war” with your mother-in-law has begun, it is better to talk about mothers-in-law on various women’s forums, pour out your soul, this will save your marriage, and all the negativity will remain on the Internet.

6) Try to make sure there are more positives than negatives in your marriage. If the relationship as a whole is built on love and kindness, then if there is a misunderstanding, it is not so difficult to resolve it. It is important to find time to communicate with each other, which will bring you positive emotions.

7) Be sure to have a heart-to-heart talk and be attentive to your partner. Often we pay more attention to strangers than to the person we love, don’t do this, because it will only harm your marriage.

Discussions on the forum .

A strong marriage doesn't have to be hard work. Creating strong relationships requires small but daily efforts. This is the only way to make the connection between partners strong. Here are 13 simple ways to turn family life into a real idyll.

Hold hands

Such a simple gesture will help you feel each other and create a stronger emotional connection. Just take your spouse's hand.

Have tea parties together

You can always find time to cozy up in the kitchen with a cup of tea. Put your phones away at least for a few minutes - this moment is just for the two of you.

Send messages to each other

Send each other erotic messages or just sweet compliments every day. This is a cheap but priceless gift.

Romantic evening

Of course, not every day you can find time to cook a festive dinner or go to a restaurant. There's no need for anything fancy - just sit together over a glass of wine for at least 20 minutes.

Help each other

If your partner is tired, do some of the work for him. He'll probably help you another time.

Sex in the morning

It's the perfect way to wake up and start a new day. And such an awakening will not allow you to forget about why you decided to be together.

Let your partner blow off some steam

Sometimes a person needs to vent his feelings. And if your partner decides to deal with his problems on his own, don’t try to figure out the reasons - just let him do it.

Have fun

Play, have fun, have fun. Partners who have quality time together (and apart) feel much better and more comfortable with each other.

Have a rest

Spouses who are able to take a break, close themselves off from the rest of the world and enjoy each other's company stay together forever.

End the day with laughter

Be sure to try to make your partner laugh at the end of the day. Going to bed angry and upset is not the best solution.

Forgive each other

Forgive each other's small mistakes. Look deeply, focus on the positive aspects of your partner - this is what happy couples do.

Work stays at work

Kiss every day

Another simple way to feel close. Be sure to kiss each other every day, just like that, for no reason.

People marry, first of all, in order to satisfy their needs, and then, directly or indirectly, the needs of their partner...

My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary yesterday. They lived together for a significant amount of time, and neither of them ever seriously thought about divorce. There also seemed to be no betrayal. The children are wonderful.

Well, if this is so, it means they lived happily, it means soul to soul, it means their Love is real... Clichés are included.

Why not? And who said that love is the key to a strong marriage? (What does “love” mean is another question).

A modern wedding is always romantic.

Marriages die not from routine, but from disappointment

Young people often imagine that future family life is also hearts and cupids, that a happy marriage is one that is based on mutual (romantic) love.

And the stronger it is, the greater the attraction between people, the longer the marriage will last.

Beautiful. But such a picture, alas, does not pass the reality check.

Yes, it is reciprocity, love that most often leads to marriage. But that's exactly what - only leads!

Many modern families begin with this, but then... Then everything happens.

Because the need for close, intimate relationships and the need for family are different needs.

What motivates people to live together, run a common household, and raise children?

The phase of a relationship, when hormones are in full swing and the presence of a loved one in itself fills life with meaning, does not last too long. Everyone knows this.

Mental, spiritual closeness can also be a reason, but this is not enough. After all, not every intimacy leads to marriage.

The decision to start a family is always influenced by a combination of factors, and everyone has an individual set of motivations: some need children, some cannot stand loneliness, some are afraid of losing this particular person, some have the task of leaving their parents, some - in general, maybe there is nowhere to live...

Getting married is not difficult, but what makes a union strong?

People get married, first of all, in order to satisfy their needs, and then, directly or indirectly, the needs of their partner.

So, the main thing is that two people agree on this.

Marriage is a partnership project, working for each other.

For “paired” people, predisposed to partnership, this goes without saying. They just like it better this way.

And there are “loners” who are not ready for partnership - yet or at all - and prefer to serve only themselves.

Both are choices, conscious or unconscious, permanent or temporary, but if you accept them, there will be less drama.

If everyone could honestly admit to themselves what they really want from each other, then more than one family could be saved.

Maybe someone remembers the Soviet film adaptation of Fenimore Cooper’s novel “St. John’s Wort,” there was such a wonderful episode.

The simpleton Hattie (who, by the way, is selflessly in love with Harry the restless one) instructs Chingachgook regarding his bride Ua-ta-Ua: “She is so young, fragile, tender... Promise that you will never force her to carry heavy loads, chop wood, reap bread, tan skins, give birth to many children... She’s like that!..”

Chingachgook looked at her so carefully and asked: “Why is she so needed then?”

Only if both in a couple are ready to create something in common and invest in it together can this be called a family.

There is one boat - both row. If one rows harder, the boat starts to spin...

Only equal contributions, common goals and common values ​​can keep people together for many years.

I watch my parents... I know for sure that they are not happy with a lot about each other, they constantly argue and swear, and often express their disgust to each other.

That is, that “romantic love” between them is long gone. And their interests and social circles are different. And political views, if you like.

Generally speaking, no. Watching a movie together is the pinnacle of spiritual unity, and then everyone will be hooked in their own way.

What keeps them together?

All of the above is true for them: they take care of each other with pleasure. But this is not the most important thing.

They complement each other with their injuries: One person's lack of care in childhood is offset by the other's need to be indispensable. Mine have it this way, others have something of their own.

It seems to me that the strongest union is one where the partner satisfies the deepest, and therefore the strongest, need of the other. This is the core.

And the rest is not so important, no one will agree on everything, this is unrealistic.

Many can argue with me: they say, what about passion, excitement, mutual interest? Where would we be without this!

And if there was a lot of energy in the relationship at the very beginning, then it will not go anywhere.

People rarely change much. It’s just that mutual attraction takes on other forms, new feelings appear. For example, gratitude, trust, respect.

Other hormones are already turning on. The main thing is not to destroy it all with mutual claims, which are a consequence of high (romantic) expectations.

Less exaltation, the pathos of “big and bright love”, high ideals of partnership...

Everything in life is much more prosaic. Marriages die not from routine, but from disappointment. So why delude yourself?

It is enough to notice a living person nearby, and this is already good. And good is when people feel comfortable together, when they need each other, when they feel better together than apart. published .

Tatiana Martynenko

If you have any questions, please ask

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet

Marriage is a serious step, which is often taken thoughtlessly, and subsequently the marriage does not last long and ends with divorce, division of property and a child who grows up in a dysfunctional family. Under such circumstances, the question increasingly arises: How to save a marriage? But this is not enough, because a stamp in a passport does not mean happiness. It happens that people live side by side, but they are distant from each other. Therefore, the second important question: How to maintain love in marriage?

It is important to take into account one point: both the husband and the wife are to blame for divorce. That is why each of the partners should try on their part, but this does not mean that you have to agree with everything and poke everything. It’s normal to quarrel in a marriage, and every quarrel can make a marriage stronger if you bring it to the end and express all your complaints and wishes to each other, and then follow them. If you don’t like something, tell your partner, don’t accumulate this dislike inside, and don’t tell all this to others (relatives/friends), tell him, and solve your problems gradually. Don't hoard, otherwise you will explode, and the flow of negative emotions will be too strong, and this can destroy your marriage. Learn to forgive each other minor shortcomings, forgive each other for individual actions, and in this way you will learn to forgive even when you are faced with something more serious.

In marriage you cannot be too kind or too evil; everything needs balance. Don't give your partner a reason to think that he is perfect, but don't make him feel worthless, don't develop complexes about him. This development of complexes may later affect you.

What is a happy marriage?

What makes a marriage strong?

Marriage is based on trust,love, understanding And respect. If partners don't trust each other, they tendencies to betray each other, as well as to suspect all the sins of the world, which can lead to numerous quarrels and, accordingly, to divorce. Love is also needed, well, without love there is no way. And I’m talking about the love that evokes tenderness, the desire to protect, to please, etc. Passion, which is sometimes mistaken for love, quickly fades away, and as a result, partners are left with nothing. You should not create a marriage based on passion, passion is not love. If love and passion are present, then everything will be fine, passion will go away, love will remain. And respect is also a necessary condition, without which it is impossible. You must respect each other's feelings and decisions, and then you will be respected in return. As for understanding, this is another necessity, in the absence of which marriages are destroyed in the first place. When partners do not understand each other, and do not listen to each other's desires and needs, nothing good will come of it. When there is no understanding, even love and respect will not help. Therefore, we need to talk to each other and try to understand. Partners must have the same values ​​and think in the same direction.

What kind of marriage is strong?

A strong marriage is one that has lasted for a long time, and no matter what, the partners decided to stay together because it is better for them and they are aware of it. A large number of problems that arose during a marriage do not mean that it is a bad marriage, if these problems were nevertheless overcome.

What destroys a marriage?

Marriage is destroyed by misunderstanding. Marriage is also destroyed by the fact that people do not have the same values, and the direction of thoughts does not converge. In addition, relatives or domestic workers may also be to blame. As for values, they can be material or spiritual, and if one of the partners has some values, and the other partner has others, then the marriage is initially doomed to failure. Relatives get into relationships and always try to teach something, and this despite the fact that they also ruined their lives. We need to follow the example of happy couples and stay away from relatives, and this applies to both parties. This especially applies to children who are overly attached to their parents and are accustomed to their parents deciding everything for them. Such people have no chance of creating a strong, good family until they get rid of the need for overprotection. And it’s easy to get rid of “everyday life” if you do something unusual from time to time, go somewhere together, etc.

Can people be happily married forever?

They can. This can be achieved with the help of love, care, tenderness, which must be shown towards each other. And this should all be mutual. And you also need to learn to forgive. A person cannot live without a strong expression of negative emotions; this is stress that accumulates and needs to be gotten rid of. Even if the cause of stress is different, they often take their anger out on their partner. So, you need to learn to quarrel in such a way that you don’t get offended later and, 5-10 minutes after you’ve let off steam, communicate as if nothing had happened. There is no need to try to avoid a quarrel; you need to learn to forgive quickly after a quarrel and not cling to words that were spoken out of malice. When people are angry, they don't mean what they say, and they want to offend more.

How long does marriage last?

A marriage lasts as long as the partners want. As long as they love and respect each other and are ready to compromise. Understanding and compromise are what keep a marriage going. I am silent about love, because love can be selfish, and this is not good for marriage. And there is also dependence, when one partner does not want to leave the union because this union brings him some benefit. But in this case, both are unhappy; it’s something like an unsigned marriage contract.

What should a husband and wife do to have a happy marriage?

This question is the most difficult to answer, but, nevertheless, it can be answered by trying to model the answer with life situations.

What should a husband do:

He should respect and love his wife and try to understand what she wants, even if she sometimes doesn't even say anything. And this is not at all difficult, men quite often guess about it, but they prefer to ignore it rather than do something, it’s easier this way. A man should express his love because women love with their ears and the fact that you love and you know about it does not mean that your wife knows about it. Offer your help, ask how she spent her day, be involved in her life. Even if you are dead tired at work, find words and a little attention for your wife. She will appreciate it. Try to make her life as beautiful as possible, and also give her surprises from time to time. Be good in bed and think about her as well as yourself. Respect and notice what she does around the house, praise her, tell her that she is beautiful, try to notice everything she does for you and be grateful to her for it. Don't try to take it for granted, or it may not happen. Respect her interests, forgive her and just talk to her when she needs it. These are just a few tips to keep your marriage happy.

What should a wife do:

In order for your husband to love and appreciate you, he must be greeted with comfort and warmth at home, as well as good sex, a beautiful wife and delicious food. Be interested in what he is doing, sympathize and be open to discussing his problems with him if he wants to. A man should know that he can always find understanding and peace of mind from you. Men do not tolerate tears, screams and hysterics - try to save him from this. Learn to forgive his shortcomings and understand that women are so romantic, and men are practical, you should not blame them for their own essence. Don't punish a man with sex if you don't want him to go to another woman. When you punish him for certain actions by depriving him of sex, you will make your husband either a stud or an impotent man. Feed your husband well and tasty, a fed man is a kind man. Take care of him, because when a man gets married, he simply exchanges one mother for another. It is not for nothing that they say that men often choose on a subconscious level those women who are somewhat similar to their mothers and this is what makes them happy in marriage. A man should want to go home, don’t blow his mind, and if he doesn’t want to talk about something, don’t ask him for this information. Have children if he wants it and he will carry you in his arms. And most importantly, do not humiliate your man, he, of course, will forgive, but will never forget. And don’t develop complexes about him by constantly pointing out his shortcomings. And again, these are just a few of the tips that allow you to save your marriage, and the list can be continued almost endlessly.

Well, now, dear readers, let’s comment and ask questions, approve, contradict and deny... I’m waiting for your opinion and your personal observations in the comments...

We all know that if spouses spend a lot of time together, then their marriage only gets stronger from it. Have you noticed that some couples have closer relationships? Are they really better than others? Hardly. They are simply working to save their family, their relationship. How? There are several ways to do this.

Strong marriage: paths to happiness

Keep your relationship romantic

Many articles are written about romance. But for some reason not everyone wants to think about it. But she is needed. What needs to be done?

Of course, maintaining a romantic relationship, such as you had back in the days of dating, is not so difficult if you do not yet have children. But family responsibilities, everyday life and the monotony of days lead to the fact that romance gradually fades away, and only a feeling of affection, habit and marital duty remains. For the fire of romance to burn in a relationship, you need to take on this together with your husband. And here are some ideas.

Invite your spouse to have lunch together, taking him away from work at least for the lunch break.

Set a rule: “No TV after...” (fill in the desired time). Don't let TV distract you from communication. The same applies to the Internet.

Try to come home from work in a good mood - this seemingly small thing makes a huge difference!

Don't argue

How often can you see families in which the husband and wife, forgetting that a strong, reliable marriage is built on mutual respect and harmony, disagree with each other on any issue. Moreover, whether it is important or very simple. Try to agree with your spouse without arguing or proving your opinion. Let him feel that he is the head of the family. Did you suggest going to the dacha for the weekend? Agree. Believe me, you can have a great time at the dacha. Suggested you give up watching your favorite TV series in the evening to go for a walk? Even better! And your eyes will rest, and you will spend time tonight with your man, albeit not as ideal as the next serial Ibrahim or Boran, but still loved.

And in general, try to quarrel and nag less so that the marriage is strong. Everyone knows jokes about sawing wives. But jokes are most often taken from life. Do you want your opinion to be heard? It’s better to talk about it calmly, in a relaxed atmosphere. A wise wife always knows when her husband is ready for such a conversation. For example, after a delicious dinner with your favorite dishes. Believe me, you will achieve more success with this approach and heart-to-heart talk than with regular “nagging.”

Watch your appearance

It is clear that your spouse is simply obliged to love you as you are, and it is not at all necessary to go to bed without washing off your makeup. But! Everything has boundaries. If you wander around the house in stretched sweatpants or a stained robe, this will definitely not add up.

In a strong marriage relationship, the way your body looks matters. Set aside just a few hours a week to exercise. Involve your friends in this exciting activity to give you even more incentive. Besides, being in good physical shape is good for you first and foremost.

Don't forget about your own needs

It is wonderful that you care about your spouse and fulfill almost all his wishes. But you also need to take care of yourself. Healthy relationships involve taking care of yourself. You need your own time to, if necessary, calm down, take up a hobby, or simply sleep an extra hour a day.

Give love even when you don't want to.

Such skill is sometimes not so easy to learn. It is difficult, for example, to love someone who does not love you. Well, now imagine that you don’t want to love because you feel that they don’t love you, and your spouse – because they don’t love him. It turns out to be a vicious circle. But how to improve relations in this case? Someone needs to take the first step. Otherwise, you will simply move away from each other, and that’s it. Don't wait for your husband to change - change yourself. Show him that you love him. This may be difficult at first, especially if you feel hostility or anger towards your partner. But still try to show your love no matter what.

You can start with the following. Your husband comes home from work, greet him with a smile and a kiss. Thank him for everything, even small things like cooking for you or taking out the trash. Does your husband need help? Help him. For example, he may not have time to wash the car or submit a quarterly report. Try to help him with this to the best of your ability. Hug your spouse, talk about your love.

Don’t forget that it’s these little things that can change the situation in your family and make your relationship with your husband strong and successful. You don’t have to start a global project - start small and move forward gradually. And you will definitely see how your spouse changes. He, seeing your attitude towards him, will want to do something for you, help you, please you. It's a win-win situation for both of you - but someone has to start.