Low self-esteem in a child: who is to blame and what to do? How to influence the development of adequate self-esteem in a child. Be a good example

Hello everyone! Adolescence is a very difficult period in a person’s life. He is no longer a child, but still far from an adult. The personality cannot yet control itself, as older people do, but it is no longer capable of childlike spontaneity either. As a rule, at this time the individual is not able to independently figure out what is happening to him. A lot depends on the teenager’s parents. They are the main source of decrease or increase in his self-esteem. The child trusts them, admires them, and compares his whole life by them. Therefore, when he hears criticism from relatives, especially expressed in a rude form, he feels rejected and unloved. Today I want to talk about how to increase self-esteem for a teenager.

Reasons for decreased self-esteem in a teenager

The human psyche during this period is extremely sensitive. At such a time, the foundations of his personality are still being laid and it is very easy to shake them. In the future, it will be very difficult for such an individual to adapt to the harsh adult life.

Low self-esteem is a teenager’s idea of himself as a failed person. He is constantly worried about what others will think of him, he is afraid to make social connections, or start a new business. Some young people who do not feel supported by their parents or friends may even fall into depression, which often ends in attempted suicide.

The reasons for low self-esteem in a teenager can be:

changed appearance;
glasses;
constant parental criticism;
lack of care;
difficulty making friends;
educational lag;
unidentified artistic inclinations;
loneliness;
drinking parents;
inability to be alone, etc.

It should be understood that a decrease in self-esteem at this time is an almost normal process. This phenomenon is temporary, so it is advisable to give the teenager a hand as quickly as possible to help him move through this stage faster. This is quite easy if there is love in the family. But, at the same time, this is everyday mental work for parents, in which they do not have the right to stumble.

Very often, the reason for a teenager’s low self-esteem is endless unflattering comparisons with adults and fully accomplished people. The young man is not able to reach their level and because of this his pride suffers terribly.

Parents and teachers do no less harm by comparing children with each other. This is obviously an unconstructive path. If, for example, Vasya counts well, this does not mean that Petya is a loser, because he, in turn, draws excellently. All people are different and everyone has their own unique strengths. But the child is not yet able to understand this and he has the illusion that he is mediocrity.

First of all, his self-esteem suffers. Its distortion is formed as a result of incorrect actions on the part of the family, teachers and other mentors. If they are overly critical, constantly telling the child that he is good for nothing or that he has no talents at all, then the young creature firmly believes in this.

The teenager will stop doing anything at all to correct this state of affairs. He simply does not yet have enough willpower and self-confidence for this. Most likely, he will completely withdraw into himself or stick to a dubious company that will not judge him too harshly or, even worse, will strongly approve of every cigarette he smokes or bottle of beer he drinks.

A teenager’s self-esteem is largely based not only on his personal characteristics and the attitude of others. The individual at this time is controlled by changing hormonal levels, restructuring of the musculoskeletal system, and changes in the psyche.

Often at this time an object of attention of the opposite sex appears and it is very important that such first love be mutual. With a complete lack of interest on the part of the chosen one or chosen one, the teenager’s self-esteem falls even lower and this can already affect the person’s entire adult life.

How to increase self-esteem for a teenager

It is the older relatives who are the first to face the problems of their child. At first they don't understand what happened. Just yesterday everything was fine, but today the teenager has become somehow different. Not everyone realizes that it is their fault that a person has developed low self-esteem. During such a period, it is enough to talk to him rudely, ignore his achievements, laugh at him, and he will already feel humiliated.

Noticing that a teenager is suffering greatly is not so difficult for parents. There are certain signs:

He has no friends, no one calls him or comes to visit him.
He often falls behind in his studies.
The teenager is withdrawn and spends a lot of time in his room, reading adventure novels or watching action films on TV. It’s even worse if social networks become his source of communication. There are a lot of dangers for a young man there, from pedophiles to drug dealers.
The teenager is not proud of his successes and does not accept approval from others. In difficult cases, he may repel the love of his parents or offers of friendship from classmates.
Girls often cry, locking themselves in their rooms, and boys become overly aggressive and can even torture animals.
Teenagers do not share anything with their parents, hide their successes and failures from them, and avoid communicating with people.

It is simply necessary to raise a young person’s self-esteem to an adequate level. This is the responsibility of the parents. If this is not done in time, he will remain insecure for the rest of his life, it will be difficult for him to build relationships with the opposite sex and move up the career ladder.

Therefore, relatives are obliged to show all their love and care, helping the teenager to believe in himself. At this age it is still quite easy for him. Correcting an adult's self-esteem will be much more difficult.

Responsible parents will undoubtedly do everything to allow their child to stand firmly on his feet. It's not difficult at all. Enough:

praise the teenager more often;
provide him with support;
do not criticize the face, figure and young man;
help get rid of youthful skin imperfections;
buy him decent (not necessarily expensive) clothes;
invite your child’s classmates to visit more often;
do not impose your opinion on him;
do not make fun of even the most naive dreams of a teenager;
talk more often about your love for him;
treat your child with respect;
do not demand the impossible from him;
do not make unflattering comparisons with other people;
be calm about temporary setbacks at school;
take an interest in the teenager’s daily life;
strengthen his self-confidence;
admire his successes;
call the young man for frank conversations;
talk about your youthful mistakes;
do not quarrel with your child over trifles;
allow him to refuse requests for valid reasons;
do not force a teenager to do something that he cannot do or will not bring particular benefit;
exercise parental control through unobtrusive means;
be a role model for your child;
calmly accept his refusal to participate in family events for a good reason, etc.

This is not a one-day job. All these recommendations should be followed constantly. In any case, until the parents notice that the teenager has become a teenager, he has stable plans for life and he is not in danger of being drawn into bad digging.

How a person can help himself

A teenager should realize that all other people are no better or worse than him. He needs to understand that his hobbies do not bother anyone and have a right to exist, even if they are far from perfect. None of the schoolchildren is required to be the first in physical education lessons or know geographical names better than anyone else. You need to allow yourself the right to make mistakes.

A teenager does not need to concentrate on his appearance. She is quite normal for a person of this age.

To boost your self-esteem, it’s a good idea to find photographs of pop and movie stars in their youth on the Internet and look at them. Most likely, these handsome men and beauties did not shine with anything special. The teenager begins to hope that with the passage of time and with some effort on oneself, it is quite possible to change for the better.

A young man should allow himself to be proud of his academic, creative and human successes. There is no need to be embarrassed to do good deeds: take an old man across the road, feed a stray animal, help someone who has fallen on the street get up.

A teenager should take criticism from elders calmly. This is not. She is unpleasant, but you need to be able to put up with her. To do this, you need to judge others less and try to find positive traits in them.

It is very important for a young person to learn. Constant readiness to agree is one of the clearest signs of low self-esteem. Soon the people around him stop taking such a person into account and simply sit on her neck. None of this improves her opinion of herself.

In adolescence, it’s good to have before your eyes the image of the person you would like to be like in the future and gradually get closer to him. You shouldn’t copy his appearance; it’s better to take a closer look at his best individual features.

It is advisable for a teenager to choose a hobby. It should correspond to his natural inclination. Such a hobby can be sports, creative or technical. It is worth trying to learn a new difficult foreign language. As success emerges, a person’s self-esteem will grow on its own. These classes are also useful because they allow you to undergo career guidance and, perhaps, even take the first steps towards your future career.

Don't waste your time. Computer games, communicating on social networks or watching action films will not add anything to the development of a teenager’s personality. It’s also better not to spend too much time alone, but you shouldn’t be around people all the time either.

A young man should not shy away from making new acquaintances with boys or girls, reject the compliments they make, or refuse invitations from friends. In the company of well-meaning comrades, he quickly grows in his own eyes.

One of the most fundamental criteria for normalizing a teenager’s self-esteem is a friendly attitude towards his appearance. To do this, it is best to simply take care of yourself every day, be neat, get rid of juvenile acne, and actively engage in physical exercise. You should also not make fun of someone else's appearance.

If someone’s remark still offends a teenager, then it is better to immediately go to the mirror and make sure that the nagging is not based on anything. And if there is some truth in it, then understand that it is quite possible to correct the situation. At such a young age, it is very easy to change your appearance for the better.

It is better for a teenager to motivate himself to study, prepare for university or master a profession in order to be able to earn money for himself. Nothing will bring such great pleasure and raise a person’s self-esteem so highly as the first completely independently earned money.

Thus, day after day, with the help of parents, friends and on their own, a teenager can significantly increase his self-esteem. This is very important, as it will become the basis of a mature personality for the rest of life. This process of human development should be approached very responsibly.

Low self-esteem in teenagers is a common phenomenon. If young children tend to overestimate their abilities (I can do everything, I can do everything, I know everything - I’m the best), then upon reaching adolescence the child begins to look at himself with completely different eyes (am I that good and am I good at all?).

Puberty also has an impact, as does the awakening interest and desire to please the opposite sex, and the first serious acquaintance with adult life, for example, the need to complete school assignments efficiently and on time, participate in public life, and make independent decisions.

The vast majority of teenagers react to these changes with a sharp decline in self-esteem and self-confidence. And here parents should come to the rescue. So, how can you help your teenage child improve their self-esteem?

Low self-esteem, to one degree or another, is a problem for any teenager. But for some children this period quickly passes, leaving no negative consequences, while others, without exaggeration, develop psychological problems that can significantly ruin the life of even an adult.

In the first case, the teenager does not require any special outside help. Parents only need to be attentive, friendly and sincere towards their child; the second case requires serious support.

How to distinguish the first option from the second?

Signs of low self-esteem in a teenager:

hermitism (your child prefers an evening in his room to a noisy party or going to the cinema with classmates);
isolation (the teenager is reluctant to share with you not only his experiences, but also simply events from his life);
a teenager refuses anything new in his life (new friends, a new activity, for fear of being misunderstood or ridiculed);
deterioration in academic results (fear of becoming a “black sheep”);
strong dependence on the opinions of others (if someone in the class calls your child’s new hat funny, he will never wear it again, even if he really liked it);
obvious imitation of one of their peers, usually the informal leader of the company (hairstyle, clothing, accessories, jargon, behavior in certain situations);
frequent attacks of a decadent and even panicky mood (nobody loves me, no one needs me, I’m a loser, I’m a freak, why am I living, etc.);
excessive attention to one’s appearance (screaming makeup, provocative clothes) or complete indifference to one’s appearance (demonstrative disregard for one’s clothes, shoes, hairstyle - why, if I’m already the worst);
Constantly comparing yourself with others, naturally, is not in your favor (Dasha is cool, she has a new iPhone, Igor has a cool dad, Marina has long legs, and I’m poor, fat, bespectacled, stupid, and the like).

Of course, the analysis of these signs must be approached carefully. Even the most confident teenager (as well as an adult) can experience periods of despondency and lack of faith in their own strengths. But if your child has at least 2-3 of the above, he definitely needs your help.

Unfortunately, many parents are too frivolous about the fact that their child has low self-esteem. Well, this is age, it will pass, they are sure. Alas, this does not always go away with adolescence, and when it passes, it leaves completely unnecessary complexes and other psychological problems.

The child grows up to be insecure, dependent on other people’s opinions, easily manipulated, and will have problems at work and in his personal life. It is almost impossible for such a person to achieve self-realization and success in life.

In addition to the negative consequences of complexes that have taken root due to low self-esteem, insecure teenagers often find themselves in bad company with the worst stories. Trying to find a team where their appearance, behavior and other important things will be unconditionally approved, they fall under the influence of various crooks, and here they are not far from trouble.

What option do parents have? Do not sit on the sidelines, observing changes in the child, but take control of the situation. Read on to find out how to do this correctly.

How to help raise a teenager's self-esteem

Don't criticize

Criticism is something that you should completely forget about when communicating with a teenager. The problem is that in most cases we do not know how to criticize correctly, always getting personal. Not “you didn’t clean your room well today,” but “you’re a slob.” But if an adult adequately evaluates such a statement, then for a teenager this will become another reason for low self-esteem.

If you want to fix something, choose neutral phrases. Instead of the evaluative “you are a slob,” you can say: “Are things on the floor bothering you? If you need help with cleaning, call."

Don't compare with others

At all. That is, not only don’t talk about how great Vanya is, because he passed English with the maximum score, and you, such a lazy and incompetent person, barely scored the required minimum, but don’t even praise him for the fact that you turned out to be better than Petya. Any comparisons tell a teenager only one thing - he is compared and assessed by how much better or worse he is than others.

Instead, make your child the center of the universe. Why do you care about some Petya or Vasya? Compare his successes or failures only to his past successes or failures. Moreover, this should be done exclusively constructively - for praise or to find out the reason with which you can fight.

Do not discuss your child with strangers

“He’s so shy,” “We’re so bad at math,” or “It’s okay, we should lose a little weight and we’ll be beautiful,” said in the presence of a teenager, can literally plunge your child into depression. Be careful what you say not only to him, but also about him.

In general, it is advisable to never discuss your child with any stranger, unless you want to lose his trust, of course. But if someone you know intrusively asks about academic success or anything else, it’s enough to remember something in which your child is really successful.

Help you succeed

But just being proud of a child’s success is not enough - it is important to help him become successful. Encourage him to strive for new hobbies, knowledge, and activities. Light a spark and always be there. Of course, it is not a fact that your son or daughter will become a brilliant athlete, dancer, photographer or polyglot. But it doesn't matter now. It is much more important that the child can feel your support and willingness to be with him in all his endeavors.

Create a favorable environment for his all-round development. Your efforts will pay off handsomely.

Take his opinion into account

Train yourself to consider your child's opinion. Teenage “rebellion” is often a consequence of the incorrect behavior of parents who are trying to keep their child within the framework of the behavior of a small child. Your child is becoming an adult, and you will have to come to terms with this circumstance.

Give him freedom: to choose friends, hobbies, pastime. This is not at all permissiveness and lack of control. This is normal communication between adults who have the right to choose.

You need to be especially delicate if... Even if you don't really like your son or daughter's chosen one, be patient and don't start the conversation about it with pressure or threats.

Help with appearance

Teenagers often evaluate their appearance inadequately. Looking up to their idols, they consider themselves very thin, fat, small, lanky... Help your child look better. Go to a beauty salon, choose a haircut, buy good things in the style that he prefers. Teach to emphasize your strengths.

If there is some real problem with your appearance (although most often these problems are far-fetched), admit it. Don't let the situation take its course.

Excess weight, pimples, acne, profuse dandruff - these are not trifles. But for a teenager, these are generally serious problems that poison life. Children are cruel, and your child is bullied by his peers, and this, as you understand, does not help in any way to increase self-esteem.

Seek professional help if necessary.

Don’t refuse to buy your “dream”

The last point about which psychologists are often silent. The material side of the issue. Has your son been asking for some kind of electronic gadget for a long time? Does your daughter dream of some newfangled thing that the recognized fashionistas of the school are sporting? Don't brush off such requests.

For teenagers, such things are not just things, they are a kind of confirmation of status. Everyone in the class has a smartphone, but your child uses the old push-button model because “that’s enough for the child”? Then do not be surprised if the child begins to avoid the company of his peers.

Of course, you shouldn’t go along with every request, but periodically pampering a teenager with fashionable things is simply necessary so that he feels like he belongs in his crowd.

The problem of low self-esteem, unfortunately, is familiar to many people. If your child doesn’t like to be photographed, doesn’t like to look at himself in the mirror, and is terribly afraid of public speaking, then perhaps it’s close to him too. We interviewed a psychologist, a specialist at the 12 Collegia Center, Yuliana Isakova, and found out: self-doubt is a death sentence or a zone of development.

— Is low self-esteem in a teenager normal or should you immediately contact a psychologist?

- A question of degree. In general, experiences related to self-esteem are typical for a teenager and can be considered a feature of age. One day a teenager thinks that everything is fine with him, he is talented and good-looking. But tomorrow, without any objective factors, self-esteem may change to the diametrically opposite one. He will decide that he is a loser, especially if someone said something to him or commented on his actions.

In general, worries due to their characteristics are normal, but you need to pay attention to the level of seriousness of this problem and if it interferes with a teenager in his daily life, then you can contact a specialist.

— Is there a line beyond which you should definitely contact a psychologist?

- There are several bells: does he communicate with other children or does he spend all his free time alone? How does it react to changes? If he went to a new section, went to a new camp, did his behavior change? What's wrong with his health? Do you often have headaches and stomach pains? Does he miss school for this reason?

— Is your teenager’s self-esteem unstable?

- Yes, that's right. It is situational, changeable and largely depends on the words of others.

— How is a child’s self-esteem formed and what influences it?

— The process of child development and the formation of self-esteem is divided into two periods: preschool and school. Before school, the child is focused on significant adults, and his self-esteem directly depends on their words and feedback. The child still has little contact with his peers and does not fully understand what he does well and what he doesn’t do well. Therefore, it is considered normal if a child comes to school with somewhat high self-esteem - this is not a problem, but a feature of his age.

Then, when the child goes to primary school, he begins to compare himself with others, receives feedback from peers and teachers, his self-esteem decreases somewhat and becomes adequate, because now it is based on experience. At this moment, an attitude towards oneself and one’s activities is formed, therefore it is very important what kind of “charge” the primary school teacher gives: criticizes or, conversely, praises the children.

— What should a parent do to ensure that their child has adequate self-esteem?

— There are several basic rules. First, when discussing a child's performance, compare his performance to his previous experiences, not to other children, siblings, yourself, or anyone else. The comparison should always be made with him in the past. “This week you got two Cs, and last week you had four. You did well and tried your best.”

Secondly, do not use generalizations and criticize not the child, but his actions. When parents are annoyed, they often use the following formulations: “You’re so inattentive, you’re losing everything,” or “What a slob you are: you’ve scattered everything.” Children remember such assessments and believe that they are true.

There is a principle of feedback, in which when communicating with a child, you pay attention not to mistakes, but to successes. For example, you teach him to write letters. He wrote the entire alphabet, some of the letters turned out well, some not so much. What do parents usually do? They point out the bad letters and ask them to rewrite them. Or you can ask: “Which letters turned out best and do you like best?” Together, choose them with your child and then invite them to write the rest just as carefully.

— Is it correct to tell a child that he is the best? Or is this also a comparison?

— It’s correct for a preschooler, but a schoolchild is already able to distinguish a realistic assessment from a fantastic one. If the estimate is unrealistic, he may feel cheated, so it is best to use comparisons only with his past performance.

— Can low self-esteem be corrected?

- Fortunately, this is not a death sentence; you can work with it and improve it at any age: school, teenager and adult. It is successfully corrected.

- How?

— Most often, complex work occurs. First, it is necessary to teach parents to give positive assessments and respond correctly to successes and failures so that the child feels supported. Then the child comes for individual consultations or group trainings. Group work is also useful for those who have difficulties communicating with other children.

— The child is worried about his appearance - what to do?

— Teenagers mostly worry about their appearance—another characteristic of age. The body changes quickly, they no longer recognize themselves in the mirror and they need time to accept the new image.

But if changes or some features are experienced painfully by a child, then it is important to understand: the problem is real or he has invented it for himself. If it’s real, for example, acne, then you should consult a doctor together for advice and support your child on the path to recovery. If the problem is far-fetched, consider an individual consultation with a psychologist.

— What to do if a child is worried about intellectual abilities or sports?

— The principle of compensation works here. If it doesn’t work in one area, we look for one in which it will work. Examples of compensation from parents, friends and acquaintances play an important role. Remember Steve Jobs' speech about how difficulties propelled him to much greater success? Such stories motivate us to look for “our” areas, develop and achieve results.

— Is it worth demanding from a child harmonious development in all areas or is it better to give him the opportunity to do what he likes and does well?

— At the first stage, it’s better to let him develop in what he likes, especially if there are questions about self-esteem. It is important for a child to feel the euphoria of success and realization of opportunities. At the next stages, tasks from other areas can be offered as a challenge and a new step.

It is also necessary to take into account the type of nervous system of the child. People with certain types of nervous systems cannot stand the same type of long-term activity, but they happily take on new tasks. This is also worth considering.

— Is high self-esteem also associated with self-doubt?

— High self-esteem, most often, is a disguise for low self-esteem. Often the aggressive, defiant and boorish behavior of a teenager means uncertainty about what he really looks like. This is corrected in group classes.

— A few parting words to teenagers and their parents for whom the topic of self-esteem is relevant...

— It is often common among teenagers to behave positively. Show that everything is fine with them and there are no worries. While they are together on such a wave, it seems to everyone that only he has problems, and the life of others is easy and carefree. One of the objectives of the training is to honestly talk about the fact that they are not alone and have the same problems. It is important to understand that you are not unique in your experiences and that you can cope with them.

Biographical information:

Yuliana Isakova is a consulting psychologist, a specialist at the “12 Collegiums” center, graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of St. Petersburg State University with a degree in General Psychology.

Since 2008, Yuliana has been conducting trainings, developmental classes and individual consultations for children aged 6-13 years, and also conducts diagnostics for children and adolescents.

Completed additional training in the following courses:

Special course “Mediation in Conflict Resolution” (21 hours, St. Petersburg State University, Faculty of Psychology) 2008;
Special course “Technology of practical group work” (36 hours, St. Petersburg State University, Faculty of Psychology) 2009;
Methodological training seminar “Art therapy for emotional disorders and crisis conditions in children and adolescents” (24 hours, “Imaton”) 2011;
Advanced training in the program “Emotional disorders in children. Methods of psychological correction" (72 hours, "Imaton") 2012, etc.

You can book a free trip to the “12 Colleges” camp, where Juliana works:

Theme camp:

Psychological camp:

Borislava Bilyavskaya

Going through the transition period in adolescence, we do not suspect that we will have to overcome these difficulties again - as adults, together with our children. This is a difficult time for both the teenager and the parents. Naturally, we want to make it easier for our children and help them.

One of the main problems in adolescence is low self-esteem. Even an adult is often incapable of objectively assessing himself and his abilities, let alone a teenager. Children can find a bunch of imaginary shortcomings in themselves, and if there is some real problem, then self-esteem generally drops below zero. This creates inferiority complexes and can subsequently affect your child’s entire life. The main thing for parents is to teach their teenagers to evaluate their abilities normally and to believe in themselves. This is a very difficult task, since the psychological state of a teenager is very unstable, the authority of parents is no longer as inflexible as at a younger age, and the opinions of others acquire paramount importance, especially the opinions of peers.

Teenagers tend to withdraw into themselves and hide their experiences, so mothers and fathers must be especially careful to notice the problem in time. The basic principles of parental behavior become especially relevant.

First, be careful with criticism. You should never criticize the child himself, his appearance and abilities. Every word hits a teenager literally “to the quick” and can forever be imprinted on his psyche. If necessary, criticize exclusively his actions and actions, and only in a constructive manner.

Secondly, do not skimp on praise. Don’t be afraid to over-praise, encourage your child for any positive actions, be it cleaning the room, academic achievement, smart remark or good behavior. Even if the teenager does not react outwardly, rest assured that he will definitely appreciate it.

Thirdly, no criticism of appearance. Even without your help, a teenager will find a million shortcomings in his reflection in the mirror - after all, during this period he already has low self-esteem. Tastes in clothes and makeup among different generations always do not coincide; there is no need to create a problem out of such a transitory issue. And with the consequences of hormonal changes in the body in the form of acne, greasy hair, excess or lack of weight, it is better to help fight by providing your child with healthy nutrition and face and body care products.

Fourth, no comparisons. Your child is unique. There is no need to compare him with others or set someone up as an example. Forget the phrases “Here I am at your age...” or “And Vova received a higher grade for this test than you...” and others like that. This will not lead to anything good, only to the teenager’s embitterment and an even further decrease in already low self-esteem.

Even attentive and sensitive parents sometimes find it difficult to notice changes in a teenager’s behavior in a timely manner and, accordingly, take time to solve the problem. Therefore, psychologists have compiled a list of questions that need to be answered.

Does your child often show anxiety or panic?
Does your child not want to communicate because he is afraid of criticism and ridicule?
How much does your child’s opinion depend on the opinions of others?
Are there friends around the child whom he imitates?
Does your child tell you about his problems, experiences, or share his plans?
Does the child try to avoid attention at family gatherings?
Does the child prefer to spend time alone or in a noisy company?
Does the child refuse to take part in school amateur performances and other similar events?
Does the child consider a positive result in any matter to be his merit or a coincidence of circumstances?

If you answered yes to three or more questions, your child really needs help. There is no need to find out who is to blame, you just need to act to solve the problem. Remember that at this age teenagers are very vulnerable. In particularly difficult cases, you should not rely on the fact that the problem will “resolve” on its own; it is better to seek qualified help from a child psychologist.

For their part, parents should strive to be an example for their child. At this age, he no longer considers you the best just because you are his parents. A teenager's respect and love must be earned, don't let it offend you.

Try not to make your child look worse than his peers. Fashionable clothes and hairstyle are very important for a teenager - stupid “kickers” from friends can really ruin a child’s life and make him an outcast. You shouldn’t indulge a teenager’s every whim, but don’t underestimate this problem either.

Help your child achieve results. Encourage him to do activities, especially those in which he can be successful. Let him participate in competitions and attend master classes, this will help the teenager gain confidence in his abilities.

Don't skimp on progress. Nowadays, it is almost mandatory for every child to have a computer, a modern mobile phone and other devices. Don't think that if you've been using your phone for five years, your child won't be embarrassed to pull out an outdated model in front of their peers. Such things, like fashionable clothes, allow a teenager to feel more confident in a team, and their absence is a direct path to low self-esteem and complexes.

And most importantly, learn to respect your child. He is, albeit not yet fully formed, but already an independent unique personality. He has his own interests, his own opinion. And we must respect this, although we do not always agree. When there is love and respect between children and parents, they are able to overcome any difficulties of adolescence. And not only.