What is a boring person? I'm a boring person

Every girl is different, only you might have noticed that certain girls attract the attention of many guys, and some live the life of a gray mouse, although they look fashionable, they take care of their appearance, etc. And this prevents you from building happy relationships, and this is one of the main reasons why guys leave you. So what to do if I'm boring? How can I change this? And is it possible to change this at all? Can. To do this, you really have to work hard on yourself, but the result will not disappoint you.

What should I do if I'm boring?

First, let's look at the reasons why you are considered boring:
- unsociable
- closed (closed)
- few topics of interest
- you don’t know how to have fun
- tediousness
- all the emotions are inside
- passivity

It's boring with people who are constantly silent. Of course, a girl loves with her ears and everyone knows this, but not a single guy will scratch his tongue into the void without giving back. For men, your silence creates the impression that you are not boring, but you are bored with them, and not finding a response in you, they change the object of interest to another person.

• Closed people those who do not reveal their lives are of little interest. General topics are good, but when it comes to personal stories, glossing over doesn't bode well.
• tediousness- you need to talk about what is interesting to both people. Otherwise, they will listen only for the sake of decency, and then they will stop altogether - because... everything comes to an end. Be open. relaxed, positive, and people will be drawn to you.
• You don't show emotions. Joy, happiness, sadness, sadness, melancholy - all these are emotions and energy, people share it with each other, and if you keep all this in a neutral zone, people do not see feelings in you, which means they cannot receive full pleasure. This also needs to be corrected. Don't hide them - let them be seen.
• Passivity. You have no idea where to go, what to do, you put it all on the shoulders of those around you. Generate ideas by offering - this is very valuable.

What to do and how to fix it?

Find yourself a hobby , fun and develop. The more of this, the better it will be. For example, you might start to get carried away female car models. Knowing enough about them will become a very good basis for conversation with a man.

Films . Watch recognized, universally recognized films, and not fashionable films at one time.
Your own opinion will be valuable and will lead to a very fruitful conversation.

Show your emotions . Laugh sincerely, joke, be open - people will be drawn to you because they will be comfortable with you.

Read. A well-read girl develops not only her inner world, but also begins to communicate better, and then becomes an interesting interlocutor. Believe me, 96% of guys don't like talking about clothes. Therefore, you must be diversified.

This will all change your life- you will make friends, and most importantly - communication and openness are the secret to a happy family life.

I hope you understand what to do if you are boring. Change. It's difficult, but achievable. The main thing is to want changes sincerely and then everything will work out. It won't be possible quickly it will take approximately 1 year, but you will notice the first results in 1-2 months. your life is only in your hands.

Even boring people don't like boring people. Why? Yes, because they are boring (forgive the tautology). And you should get rid of this quality as soon as you can notice it. True, the problem is that there is no boring person who considers himself as such. You probably also think that you are incredibly interesting, but this may be the biggest self-deception of your life. Therefore, today we will drag you into the mud of our own weaknesses. You will be thoroughly soaked in this dirt, you will understand that you cannot live like this any longer, and you will go to the shower to wash yourself. We hope that after this procedure you will destroy the monotony and dullness of your character.

1. You don't understand social cues.

Psychopaths differ from healthy people not only in their diagnosis, but also in their inability to recognize and explain social cues. They, roughly speaking, live outside of society, cannot understand the crowd, and therefore cannot understand the desires of a particular person, and therefore they commit various wild acts that cross every conceivable boundary. But you're not necessarily a psychopath if you can't recognize these signals either. Maybe you just never tried to do this. But everything lies on the surface.

For example, if you talk for a long time and don’t pay attention to how everyone around you is yawning, looking at their watches, shifting from foot to foot, then this means that you missed a lot of social signals that could save you from the title of the most boring person in the world. planet. Next time, try to identify these things in time in order to correct or even stop your monologue.

2. You worry too much about what other people think.

Boring people are always cautious people, and cautious not only in their actions, but also in their statements. We understand that now society teaches you to handle the feelings of others carefully, because you can inadvertently offend someone, but, on the other hand, if you go too far with this caution, you will make everyone yawn. Why? Because harsh remarks, subjective phrases, personal opinions are a kind of marker of a live conversation.

You can't be too polite when it comes to personal views, and you can't be too universal for others. When you try, you lose your own individuality and turn into a mannequin. Who wants to deal with a mannequin? Nobody. No, you can be kind and often agree with someone, but you don’t need to pander and belittle yourself in order to look like “the guy” in the eyes of others - this will work against you.

3. You are too negative about everything.

Stop grumbling like an old man. This does not make you pleasant to communicate with, on the contrary - they want to stay as far away from you as possible. Anyone who constantly talks about does not make the world a better place; he serves as an eternal source of despondency, which periodically falls on our heads. You were in a good mood, you were enjoying life, you got a nice look from a girl on the bus, you bought yourself a burger and got a second one for free, you received praise from your boss, and then you found out that there would be another bonus, and then you meet a guy who starts talking about “ a great story about his problems: no money, the state is shit, his wife left, the dog died, the cat chewed the wallpaper, got food poisoning, he was fired from his job. Even if these problems do not concern you, it still becomes disgusting, and also boring. We hope that you don’t have such acquaintances, and we hope even more that you yourself are not a walking negative.

4. Everyone is boring except you

This is a very subtle form of narcissism. Its essence lies in the fact that a person considers his entire environment to be unspeakably boring, but only because it does not give him an emotional return. Simply put, a person falls into another trap of self-deception, thinking that only he is, when all other people are stupid and ignorant. However, the truth is that your “speeches” are most likely just boring - they are not aimed at what others like.

So just think about what you are saying. It is possible that the problem is in the presentation, perhaps in the convergence of interests, or rather in its complete absence. Any conversation is not a one-sided game, so it is important to take into account the interests of others.

5. You have chosen stability as your priority.

Some people are happy to stay in their bubble forever. They do not want change, they are afraid of everything new, they fiercely perceive everything that differs from their usual way of life. And, on the one hand, such a life has its advantages: fewer risks, fewer surprises, fewer financial and personal disasters. On the other hand, by choosing this path, you get, and this is immediately reflected in the perception of your personality - you become boring both for others and for yourself. You don’t have any exciting stories, and your few vivid experiences come from the distant past: school, college, army. This is a shitty and very boring life.

If you're always bored, congratulations, you're a boring person!

A boring person as a personality quality - n causing boredom, causing yawning, without bright emotions, uninteresting, sad, sad, dull.

The driver and the priest introduced themselves. The Lord sent the driver to heaven, and the priest to hell. - Have mercy, God, for what?! - the priest was amazed. “There was not even a hint of brilliance in your service.” During your boring sermons, parishioners slept or broke their jaws from yawning instead of praying. And there was never a dull moment on his bus; people prayed frantically.

In order not to be boring for others, you need to become interesting for yourself. If you are interested in yourself, if you are very passionate about something, others will probably not be bored with you. Passionate people who are focused on some idea are always interesting and attractive; green snow would rather fall than get bored with such a person. Jean-Paul Sartre wrote: “If you are bored alone with yourself, then you are in bad company.”

One woman was at a show on Broadway and during the break she went out to get something to drink. The lobby was filled with people smoking, talking and drinking. The pianist played, but no one paid attention to his music. The woman sipped her drink and studied the musician. He seemed boring to her, just doing his job and waiting for the break to end before he could stop playing. After the second drink, slightly intoxicated, she went up to the piano and said to the pianist: “You’re like a toothache.” And then she added: “Why don’t you just play for yourself?” The pianist was surprised. And then he started playing the music that he loved. A few minutes later the foyer was completely silent. When the composition ended, there was enthusiastic applause.

We are bored with those people who are bored with us. He is boring who does not allow others to open their mouths. The great Voltaire hit the nail on the head: “The art of being boring is to say everything.” It happens that a person said no more than two words during the entire conversation, but the interlocutor considers him interesting, charming and absolutely not boring. Why? He simply listened actively, showed sincere interest in his interlocutor, goodwill and respect. And sometimes a person becomes silent only to breathe in the air and feverishly think about what to say next. He doesn’t hear anyone, he’s not interested in anyone, he is completely absorbed in himself, other people’s desires and intentions pass by his mind. The main thing for him is to speak out, attract attention, assert himself, admire himself, his significance, coolness and importance.

Ambrose Bierce, with his characteristic humor, said: “A boring man is one who speaks when you want him to listen to you.”

People are interested in those who are interested in them. It’s never boring with someone who is only interested in themselves, with someone who is benevolently interested in you. A person who is sincerely attuned to the wave of his counterpart gives the impression of a charmer. That's why Oscar Wilde said: “It makes no sense to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or boring."

A boring person is a dead soul, the spring of life does not flow within him, he is like a swamp, dull and gray. Let's remember Manilov from Dead Souls. He was a boring conversationalist; from him “you won’t get any lively or even arrogant words”; after talking with him, “you will feel mortal boredom.”

You can scare little girls with such a boring specimen: “And if you behave badly, then you will get a boring man.” The most boring. It will be boring with him both day and night. Both at home and in public. And in bed with him it will be boring, and even with a drunk person it will be very boring with him. Boring. Boring. Boring man. The most boring person - with whom there is nothing even to talk about.

A boring person has zero imagination and passion. If a person has at least one fiery passion, he is no longer boring. It is easier to live with a passionate woman than with a boring one. True, they are sometimes strangled, but rarely abandoned.

“Every time you get drunk,” she said, “I will go to the dance.” Last night I went to the Red Umbrella and invited men to dance. A woman has a right to this. -You're a whore. - Is that so? So if there's anything worse than a whore, it's boredom.
“If there’s anything worse than boredom, it’s a boring whore.” (Charles Bukowski. Women).

Southern Crimean night. Boarding house park. He and she. - Semyon Ivanovich, why are you silent all the time? Why are you so boring and unpretentious? We would tell something, talk about the weather, about the stars. - Yes, Mary Ivanna, I’m not boring, I’m just so shy. . . If you gave it to me, I’d go already...

If a person is boring, it means his mind is on the dole. The mind is always tuned to receiving pleasures and pleasures. You have to get really drunk to bring your mind to the point of desirelessness. The mind, which has a tossing, changing, chaotic nature, suddenly becomes sluggish and boring. The world around us becomes boring, like a tired lover. Only a strong mind, putting a bored mind under a cold shower, can rescue it from the realm of boredom. Fools are boring and fools are bored. A reasonable person does not tolerate stagnation and idleness in thoughts, ideas, inventions and undertakings.

A boring person usually tends to be tedious. The bore drones on like a “tape recorder”, everything is already extremely clear and understandable to everyone, it’s already boring to the point of ache in the cheekbones, and he continues to pervert in order to prove that he is right. You can feel sorry for someone who has to communicate with a boring, boring person, who has to pretend that you are listening to someone who cannot say anything interesting.

A bore is incredibly boring, people are annoyed by hearing boring, banal, long-known simple truths. A typical bore is boring, uninteresting and fixated on some issue. It has long been noted that a bore is a person who, when asked “how are you?” begins to tell how he is doing, burdens those around him with his problems, telling them in detail about all his misadventures. Women argue that it is easier to give in to this than to explain that you don’t want to. According to Vladimir Levi: “A bore is a person who does not know how to distinguish his own values ​​from those of others, his own values ​​from the values ​​of others.”

It was boring people who invented age, old age and infirmity. Boring people are always arrogant, and arrogant people are always boring. A boring person thinks it will add to the fun if he visits someone out of boredom. His intention comes at a cost to those who accept him, for communicating with him is like swimming in a swamp or drinking rotten, stagnant water.

One day a man caught a beetle. The beetle crawled funny. The man tore off his leg, and the beetle crawled even funnier. Then he tore off all the beetle's legs, but the beetle did not crawl at all, but only lay there, tired. - You are very boring! - he then said to the beetle. “It’s not like that,” answered the beetle, “I just don’t have any legs left.” - You can always find the reason for your boredom! Look around, the world is full of love! “Yes, yes,” the beetle agreed.

I’m a boring person, no one is attracted to me, no one is attracted to communicating with me - how can I change this? This article explains how boredom occurs and what you can do to make life and communication more interesting.

First I’ll ask a question: how did you know that you are a boring person?

Maybe your mom and dad, brother or sister told you about this. Maybe you heard this from classmates or guys with whom you played in the same yard. Often people themselves draw this conclusion by comparing themselves with other people, around whom there is always a crowd and with whom everyone strives to be friends. In any case, feeling boring, uninteresting, unclaimed is an unpleasant and difficult experience. It fills you with sadness, anger, envy.

What is boredom

To understand what separates "boring" people from "fun" or "popular" people, let's first understand what boredom is.

Boredom occurs when it is not clear what to do with yourself. None of the available activities seem interesting or attractive. Everything around is gray and joyless. There is some concern though. I want to do something, there is a vague desire for activity inside, but it is not clear how to turn this desire into action.

The reasons for boredom can be different (I wrote about this in detail in the article), but, as a rule, boredom is a stopped impulse. For example, you really want to join the company of colleagues chatting happily. You have a lot of interest in their conversation, in themselves. But at the same time, you are afraid that they will not accept you into the company, they will laugh at you. And you stop yourself. At this point, boredom and emptiness may arise.

How to stop being boring

As we can see, experiencing boredom is not easy. By holding back our impulses, not releasing our natural feelings and emotions, it is as if we are locking ourselves in an empty room. There is nothing and no one around. Safely. But it's boring.

When we hold ourselves back, we find it difficult to interact with other people. Communicating with a reserved person is a bit like walking in the fog. You walk as if in milk, stretch out your hand into this milk and feel nothing. You know that there is someone there, but who it is, what interests him, how he differs from me - all this remains inaccessible.

In order for the fog to dissipate and acquire your features, you need to learn to recognize your sensations, feelings and desires. Learn to be aware of your fears, assess risks - which often turn out to be not as high as we think - learn to take risks and try, express, act.

Gestalt therapy has proven itself to be the best way to work with awareness. For independent work, I recommend you the book “Gestalt Therapy Techniques for Every Day” - this is a clear step-by-step guide. Psychologists and psychological groups help well in this difficult matter.

Some people dream of breaking out of their shell and becoming more interesting to themselves and to others. A non-boring person is friendly and active. In order to stop being a boring person, it is very important to have a sense of humor, as well as to be more active and open to others. Thanks to this, you can change your life for the better, expand the boundaries of your society and become a happy person.

Steps

Looking for adventure

Show interest in a wide range of people, places and things. If you step out of your comfort zone of knowledge, you will learn a lot of new things. Boring people often have no interest in other people, so they are not fun to deal with.

• Visit new neighborhoods and restaurants. You shouldn't visit the same place every day, as you're unlikely to learn anything new.
• Read about people who are different from you. These may be people of a different gender from a different country, region, ethnic group.
• Listen to music from different genres. Even if you don't always understand a particular genre of music at first, keep listening to it. Choose music that is listened to by people from different walks of life or who are different from you.

1. Take up a new skill or find a new hobby. Learning a new skill or doing something you love can be rewarding. A new activity can become a topic for discussion with your acquaintances and friends. Others will see that you are an interesting person who is eager to learn something new.

   • Your new hobby can also introduce you to people who are interested in the same things as you. For example, you can learn to play guitar with other people who may later become your friends.
   • If you love to cook, cooking can be a great topic to discuss with other people. If a person shares your interests, then he will be interested in learning more about your hobby.

2. Join an interesting club or group. You will always have an interesting topic to discuss if you take part in activities that are not related to your school or work life. This will show that you are interested in expanding social boundaries and do not want to limit yourself to only communicating with people who do the same thing as you.

   Get creative with new experiences. Choose an exciting activity such as skydiving. Thanks to this, others will see that you are not afraid of difficulties, strive to comprehend something new and enjoy it.

   Be interested in others

   1. Listen. If you talk to other people, it means that you listen to what they are telling you. Boring people don't listen. Instead, they just wait for their interlocutor to shut up so that they can speak for themselves; learn to listen to others. Thanks to this, your conversation can be called a dialogue rather than a monologue.

      Share your opinion. Boring people tend to have no opinions or may be afraid to express them. If you speak your mind, others will see that the topic at hand is important to you and you want to contribute to the conversation.

      • Even if you do not agree with the opinion of your interlocutor, show respect for him. Don't argue with him, but show that you are listening carefully and are ready to continue communication.
      • When you express your opinion, you must evaluate the situation objectively. To do this, do not look at the problem one-sidedly. Otherwise, you will be considered an ignorant person.

   2. Enjoy being with other people. Look for opportunities to have a good time. Boring people tend to be introverted and afraid to do crazy things; Find ways to have fun with other people.

      • If you have talents or abilities, demonstrate them. Of course, you should not strive to become the center of attention. However, there is nothing wrong with showing what you can do.
      • Don't worry too much about what others think of you. If you act naturally, others are less likely to think of you as boring.

   3. Speak positively about your life. Boring people often speak negatively about their lives and work, while interesting people have a more positive outlook on life. Talk about what interests you, not what worries you.

      • If you speak positively about your life, others will view you as an interesting and pleasant person. Show your passion without words.

   4. Allow others to demonstrate their strengths. Pay attention to other people's talents and abilities. When talking to people, talk about what interests them. This will prevent the conversation from revolving solely around you.

      • Don't be an overconfident person. Don't worry about not being able to "keep up" with someone. If the focus is on another person, believe me, it doesn't make you a boring person.

   5. When communicating with others, do not forget to smile. A smile shows your positive attitude towards life, as well as your interest in friendships. If you have a sad or indifferent expression, others will likely perceive you as boring and uncaring.