How to learn to love yourself: recommendations from a psychologist. How to develop self-love

Everyone, striving for the desired goal, will inevitably make mistakes and stumble over time. More often on small things, less often on more serious problems. But what doesn’t “kill” us makes us stronger. And any fall should bring us closer to the desired goal or result, but this fall must be accepted properly, comprehended, and benefited from it.

You need to learn to benefit from your mistakes, other people’s mistakes will not teach you anything, let others fight them, those who made them, and the main thing for us is to work hard and persistently to achieve our goal, albeit by trial and error, but we know that we will still achieve the desired result. You can make mistakes, and this is not scary, because a second chance is always given, but a second chance appears only to those who, after falling, can get up without delay. You need to act quickly!

The psychological attitude must be built in such a way that any difficulty or fall in achieving your goal is perceived as an intermediate incident. Don't make this incident a disaster. You should not look for the cause of the incident in the current circumstances or blame it on someone else. We need to start with ourselves, since the cause is not circumstances, but our attitude towards them.

When you fall, get up, don't get up empty-handed. With every fall you must learn to win, win while losing. Use incidents to your advantage, both to your own benefit and to your company’s benefit. We must remember that you cannot achieve success without losing something or facing difficulties. The path to success always lies through obstacles.

The bar for business goals should always be raised. Most firms fulfill the assigned task, but the task is always the same and the fulfillment of the set goals occurs within the capabilities of the company.

Of course, this is not bad, because many managers of such companies will say with confidence, and maybe even with pride, that we get a stable profit, fulfill our goals, and indeed, at first glance, everything is fine, but the company does not develop, but simply lives, lives for the time being. After a certain time, the interest of managers in the activities of such a company fades away.

The company becomes mediocre, is satisfied with the role of the average, avoids dangers and obstacles and does not even try to increase its average performance. But to go beyond your capabilities you need to make a lot of effort. But those who are not satisfied with the role of the middle peasant are prepared to take decisive actions, and these actions will be associated with various obstacles and failures in business, and the leaders of such companies understand this perfectly and are ready for them.

In any company, in addition to the manager, there is a staff of employees. Any failure of the company, one way or another, will affect the employee, and any failure of the employee will affect the results of the company. The company's employees perform their job duties well and are quite satisfied with the satisfactory results. But why not make satisfactory results good or excellent?

There is only one reason - employees are afraid of difficulties. And they are afraid of them because of insufficient faith in their own strength. They go towards goals for which the bar is set too low, or perhaps there is none at all. The manager needs to rid employees of the fear of failure. We need to help employees become more demanding of themselves and set higher goals.

The manager must help the employee choose the right actions that lead to achieving these goals and monitor the timely execution of these actions. Very often, employees are afraid of higher goals, afraid of making a mistake, of disappointing their manager, but they must understand that failure very often becomes the decisive key to success.

The manager must encourage employees to take on more complex tasks without fear, and employees, in turn, must understand that they also have the right to make mistakes and have a second chance. But there must be a clear understanding here - employees only have the right to make mistakes, but in no way should they make them!

We need to allow them to make mistakes, because it is always better to learn from your mistakes, and the employee’s experience should play a role. It is impossible to develop without making mistakes; employees’ mistakes give them irreplaceable experience. And experience will allow them to set higher goals for themselves.

Very often in companies, employees’ mistakes are put on public display as their personal shortcomings, while they say that our employees have the right to make mistakes. But how does the employee feel after this? He doesn’t think about anything other than a negative attitude with the thoughts “I can’t”, “I couldn’t cope.”

This position provokes the employee to more and more failures and mistakes; he is not prepared; moreover, he is humiliated after his first failure and he does not feel any support for himself.

We must make it clear to employees that they have the right to make mistakes, moreover, we must actually confirm this right. Principle: The one who provides assistance is harmed where sufficient assistance should become an active component of the management model of your company.

Undoubtedly, success will improve the situation and push us to new actions, but failure will improve us. Without fear of failure, you can safely set yourself the highest, most difficult goals. Failures shouldn't be avoided, they just shouldn't be feared. In any new business they are inevitable.

A person should care about what he strives for, and if it is really important to him, and he really wants it, then he will definitely achieve it. If we overcome the fear of failure and treat mistakes calmly, meaningfully, and judiciously, then the leader will create such a force in the company, thanks to which we can take a decisive step forward, a step that will fill with joy those moments for which we lived through all this.

We can safely say that the exclusively mysterious and incomprehensible topic of relationships is not, but relationships within oneself. Self-analysis and soul-searching sometimes lead to such unexpected results that they confuse a person even more seriously; he develops complexes, a feeling of infringement and a decrease in self-esteem. On the other hand, the better we feel about ourselves, the more likely we are to make a career, make friends, and achieve success in various areas of life.

Here we are not talking about selfishness, which has nothing to do with the question of loving yourself: selfishness is excessive self-love, which leads to a complete disregard for the desires and feelings of other people.

Love yourself... Where to start?

Most people instinctively understand the truth about themselves and realize that they do not believe in themselves enough, becoming the unfortunate owners of low self-esteem. 90% of the population carry this from childhood: the constant dissatisfaction expressed by dad or mom transforms into serious psychological complexes with age.

Go back to childhood, when unconstructive parental criticism is vividly remembered.
Since the attitude and demands of parents can no longer be changed - this is a fait accompli, look at the situation not through the eyes of that little child, but through the eyes of today’s adult: change your own attitude towards the criticism you hear.
Look at yourself with different eyes: you are not bad at all, as you were previously told, and you are lucky in life, despite your parents’ favorite: “Nothing will come of you!” and “Who are you born like?”
Take this as a lesson for the future and do not repeat the mistakes of your parents: unfounded, harsh, frequent criticism of parents “kills” the child’s creativity, energy, desire for action and leads to the development of that low self-esteem, which will add a lot of trouble in adult life.

Analyzing childhood situations or problems that arise in adolescence from the perspective of an adult helps to reconsider established complexes and, if not get rid of them overnight, then seriously smooth out their manifestations.

Find the right influencers

A useful psychological technique is based on the principle of comparison with authority - the main thing is to choose the right point of comparison. Social influences are important for teenagers: number of friends, parties, cheerful character. Adults have other priorities that allow them to compare their own success with the success of others: wages and career growth, a car model, a spacious apartment, expensive clothes, a country house, etc.

But if the comparison method constantly gnaws at a person from the inside with the thoughts “I’m worse than so-and-so because I don’t have a mink coat” or “I’m not worthy of this guy because I’m not as slim as my girlfriends,” then this technique will only lead to loss of self-esteem and aggravation of the situation with new complexes.

Communication with others depends on your attitude towards yourself

It is no coincidence that they say that harmony in oneself is harmony with the world around us. A person who is internally satisfied with himself carries a positive charge that other people cannot help but feel. A woman who is “easy” in communication succeeds in almost everything, and most importantly, relationships with her husband/lover, colleagues, relatives, and friends develop without problems.

Obvious dissatisfaction and irritation with another person can be resolved in a radical way by ending friendships or love relationships, or, at a minimum, reducing communication. But you will have to work on dissatisfaction with yourself - you should not close your eyes to problems and try to run away from them, you need to help yourself. Sometimes it is enough to understand that you did not have another such “I”, do not have and will not have, and, therefore, it would be nice to find a compromise in relations with the existing reality, with which you still have to live and live for many years.

I am the most charming and attractive!

“... and all men are crazy about me.” Who hasn’t heard this phrase and/or repeated it themselves? The technique of self-hypnosis is a great thing if you sincerely and powerfully believe in it. But with one magic phrase it is rarely possible to radically correct the situation of low self-esteem: it is often based on a constant feeling of guilt before the same parents, strict grandmother or teachers, department head or husband.

At psychological trainings, an exercise is recommended: mentally collect everything bad that has ever been said about you into a large basket and also mentally throw its contents into a huge container, freeing yourself from other people’s negative opinions about your person. This is not you yourself - it is only the impression that you made on a specific person, taking into account the characteristics of his character and perception.

It should be understood that listening to people’s opinions about themselves is very fraught for individuals with unstable self-esteem. Have you heard bad things about yourself and are starting to doubt the correctness of your decisions and actions? Here you have a series of complexes that did not exist, but under the influence of human opinion begins to grow like a snowball. It is better to get rid of unnecessary burden at the initial stage: appreciate your merits and successes, remember your uniqueness and do not let strangers try to mold you, like plasticine, into something that pleases and suits them.

My light, mirror...

For women, dissatisfaction with oneself usually begins with dissatisfaction with one’s own appearance: fatness, the shape of the legs, nose or ears, imperfect body proportions - these are the reasons that are ready to drive the most adequate and pleasant beauty to others crazy.

Love is the main driving force behind many events and processes.
Out of love for the Motherland, soldiers went into mortal combat, out of love for their mother, children sacrifice their time and energy, and out of love for the woman they love, a man can literally move mountains.

But there is another very important type of love - self-love, without which a person cannot live at all, and can only “pull the strap” of a being dissatisfied with himself.

Without thinking about how to love themselves, people have been saying for decades, some with sadness and some with a touch of bravado: “Yes, I’m fat!”, “I’m lazy,” “Well, what can you do if I’m such a loser?” . Many consider the presence of shortcomings to be the norm, but no one can forbid you to learn to love and respect yourself, and at the same time struggle with the imperfections of your own appearance and character. Of course, if that's what you want.

How to learn to love a reflection if in the mirror in front of you is something that, in your opinion, does not deserve love, and it is impossible to make yourself ideal?
Well, people are certainly imperfect, but isn't striving for perfection, even if unattainable, a worthy goal in life?

Poles of the self-esteem scale

Let's imagine two. One is the one who walks with his head held high, makes eye contact, and smiles openly. It is pleasant to communicate with him, he inspires self-respect with his leisurely, balanced actions and phrases, he does not endlessly joke about his own shortcomings. This is a portrait of an individual who knows what it means to love himself, appreciate his strengths and soberly assess his shortcomings.

The second man is stooped, nervous, tired, with a haunted look and uncertain gestures. He understands that he is no longer young, ugly, overweight and other shortcomings and regularly discusses them with others. He does not understand how to love himself and does not see his merits.

Of course, these are two extremes, and most people are somewhere between the poles of an absolutely confident and completely insecure subject, but each of us involuntarily gravitates towards one side or another of the degree of self-love.

Why is it important to love yourself

We all strive for recognition, to be favorably accepted in society, because a person is a social being, unadapted to life outside the circle of fellow tribesmen, in an information and communication vacuum.

Look at the images of subjects at different poles of the scale and think about which one looks more attractive to you personally: the one who loves himself, or the one who constantly remembers and talks about his shortcomings?
If a person is not able to treat himself with love, realize his worth and notice the positive, if he is sure that he has more minuses than pluses, who will love him and for what? After all, this conviction is inevitably reflected in appearance - in posture, gaze, gait and behavior.

Men are leaving gorgeous housewife wives for incompetent wives who at the same time love and value themselves and radiate it outward. Women leave rich lovers for poor, but bright and interesting young men whom they loved not for the thickness of their wallets.

A person who loves himself inevitably has self-confidence, which gives him, namely, attracts us more than the amount on the account or the ability to cook soup.

Excessive self-confidence is the other side of the coin

When starting to solve the problem of “how to learn to love yourself,” it is important not to overdo it, turning from a boring gray mouse into a peacock brimming with unhealthy narcissism.

Any extreme turns into an unhealthy phenomenon, so if blinkered, stooped people with low self-esteem evoke pity or disgust, then narcissistic “princes” with their endless selfies and glances in the mirror provoke not love, but contempt from others.

When you are given advice to “love yourself,” remember: “loving yourself” does not mean “falling in love until you lose your mind.”

A mother who loves her child excessively and forgives all his mistakes usually ends up being a boor and an egoist after a couple of decades, while strict parents who dose out love and are not afraid to use educational measures are able to raise a wonderful, loving child.

Love yourself with all your shortcomings, but be willing to correct and downplay them, work on your character, appearance, make yourself better, more beautiful and more ideal.

Love for the original self

Before you try to renew yourself, you should accept what you have at the moment.
How to love yourself and your body as it exists?
Remember: there are no ideal people, just as there are no ideal gases, perfect plants or absolute symmetry in nature. We are all weak in some way, capable of making mistakes, we have shortcomings, both external and internal, and this is not a reason for grief - it is a reason for working on ourselves.

Is it possible to learn to love yourself the way a mother loves a child if you are used to remembering your shortcomings, every mistake, a long nose, a habit of pursing your lips, an inability to meet people?

Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and realize: you are unique. Even if you have a twin brother, external identity does not give complete similarity - you have a different way of thinking, different feelings, desires, a different ability to learn, and you should love this about yourself.

Start to love yourself, at least your difference from others, for the fact that you are already an individuality, already a person, and all that is needed is to polish this personality, to make a dull diamond shining with hundreds of facets as a dazzling diamond.

Home is the container of the body

In order to love yourself, you should remember: “I” does not end solely with you, your I is everything that surrounds and comes into close contact with you, influencing your appearance, state of mind, mood and character. This includes the house you live in, your social circle, the music you listen to, and much more.

The easiest place to start change is at home. Clutter around creates disorder in the soul, that's a fact.

The broken windows theory says: in a neighborhood with broken windows, the crime situation will be worse than in a neighborhood where glass is quickly replaced, graffiti is wiped off the walls, and order is maintained.

This is true for us and our homes: what order can we talk about in our heads and hearts if we are surrounded by chaos, devastation, mountains of unnecessary things, dust in the corners of rooms and unwashed dishes?

So the question “how to love yourself” should start with solving the problem of putting the apartment in order. In purity, peace is born and the need to use the freed territory for something useful and interesting, new exciting activities contribute to self-development, and the advanced version of yourself will be much easier to love than the usual one.

The body is the seat of the soul

The next step on the path to self-love in general is to put the body, as a container for the soul, in order.

As in the case of a cluttered house, a neglected appearance, excess weight, flabby muscles, a tendency to shortness of breath and an unhealthy complexion will prevent you from loving yourself to the fullest.
Of course, you initially need to accept yourself as you are, and only then give yourself an incentive to love your body by taking care of yourself.

Sport is a great way to correct what prevents you from fully enjoying life, and then loving the result. It is much easier to treat yourself with kindness if you feel progress every day, if your lungs straighten, your shoulders unfold, your muscles fill with strength. In the mirror there is no longer a thin, emaciated child of the metropolis who whispers: “Love your body!” and does not believe herself. Smiling at the reflection of a stranger so similar to you with flexible joints and a blush on his cheeks is strange at first, but very pleasant - clothes fit beautiful shapes, people begin to look at you, but someone else’s attention is an important incentive to love your body.

We love ourselves for the work we put in

When solving the problem of “How to learn to love yourself,” it is worth remembering the common phenomenon of a wife who cannot leave her disgusted husband because “I spent so many years on you.”

It is difficult for people to part with something in which they have invested a lot of effort, and this property of the psyche can be used on the way to learning to love yourself.

It is almost impossible to love yourself without self-improvement.
To love your body, go in for sports, and then you will begin to respect yourself for the amount of work you put into exercise, and more and more every year.
Any hobby, from floriculture to painting or singing, with due diligence inevitably leads to progress, and seeing this progress, you will also understand how to love yourself and for what - for perseverance, diligence and patience.

Positive qualities

The task of “how to learn to love yourself” is not as difficult as it seems at first.
Each of us has, some have more, some have less, but there are no deeply negative people.

Take a piece of paper and write a list of your positive qualities on it.
Then ask several friends and loved ones to do the same on other sheets of paper, and then compare the results. Believe me: they will surprise you. It turns out that from the outside they find in you much more pleasant traits for which they can love you than you see in yourself. Something that is perceived as ordinary to you causes delight among friends, and the consciousness of this will tell you how to learn to love yourself - through the prism of someone else's view.

When doing something, try to look at it through the eyes of your friends. In this exercise, it is important not to get hung up on other people’s opinions, not to try to behave in accordance with the expectations of others, but to learn to see more in yourself than you are used to noticing in yourself, since the easier it is to love yourself, the more positive qualities you find in yourself.

Freedom from guilt

Often we are not able to love ourselves because we remember every mistake we made, every bad deed and stupid situation in which we found ourselves. This is a dead end path.

Firstly, we are all human and we all make mistakes, and the presence of dark spots in our biography is not at all a reason to refuse to love ourselves.

Secondly, a person is designed in such a way that he is usually only interested in him. He is much less passionate about those around him than he is about himself, and for years he is not able to remember the mistakes of his loved ones, and why?

Your memories are only yours, and only you yourself are able to rid yourself of the burden of guilt for the past, which is left behind you and will not return. It is reasonable to extract valuable experience from mistakes, but reproaching yourself for everything that happened and has long passed is pointless and unproductive. Experience is what is important, and it’s worth loving yourself for the ability not to repeat stupid things.

Give up ideals

In order to love their body, people often find an idol among the stars, and constantly set him or her as an example. “She’s so slim!” - they think, forgetting that “she” can also be very unhappy, because visual beauty does not guarantee a happy life for anyone.

In pictures in magazines, public figures stand in beautiful poses, radiate charm and shine with golden skin. And how to love yourself if there is a star over there, and in the mirror there is an ordinary person with all his shortcomings? In such a situation, try to convince yourself to love your imperfect body!

Take a closer look at the world of celebrities: can Barbra Streisand or Adriano Celentano be called handsome? But this did not stop them from becoming the idols of millions, and their spouses hardly asked themselves the question: “How to learn to love a person with such appearance?” Also, minor flaws in your figure cannot become an obstacle to not believing the call: “Love your body!”

Love for yourself as an individual

As a result, we all have to decide the question of how to learn to love ourselves, individually, depending on what specific traits prevent you from considering yourself close enough to perfection.
How to learn to love your nose or ears? Understand that in most cases, others, unlike you, simply do not consider them ugly.

How to love yourself, so awkward and incapable of spouting witticisms? Try to find people who value in their interlocutors not the ability to endlessly joke, but the great gift of listening carefully.

There are quite a few ways to solve the problem of how to love yourself, if you think about it. Learning to love yourself is like sailing in a boat with a bunch of oars at the bottom: just sort them out until you find the ones that suit your boat, insert them into the oarlocks and row, observing the technique, and you will definitely swim to the goal.

We bring our attitude towards it to the world and receive in return a mirror reflection of what we sent.

And if there is dissatisfaction, criticism, self-examination and humiliation inside, what do we get back? Everything we broadcast comes back to us. And the first step to a happy life filled with love and joy is to learn to love yourself.

So, how to love yourself, begin to respect and appreciate yourself? A few useful psychological tips and a number of steps will help you with this. But first, it’s worth emphasizing the fact that loving yourself and feeling sorry for yourself are completely different things, they are even opposite. And also, is love not connected with selfishness?

What is low self-esteem

The psychological reason for low self-esteem lies in selfishness. And it comes in two directions.

1. The most common and well-known manifests itself in all-encompassing self-love: “I am the very best”, “I am the most beautiful of all”, “I am the best”...
2. The second type of egoism is more dangerous, because it is hidden and based on self-pity: “I am worse than everyone,” “no one is more unhappy than me,” “no one in the world has ever been so hurt,” “how unfair all this is.”

We must make every effort to change this direction of thoughts. Various depressive complaints are the essence of egocentrism raised to the cubic power.

This is being true to yourself. A state that is completely contrary to love not only for oneself, but also for anyone else.

Therefore, low self-esteem should not be artificially increased, and high self-esteem should not be lowered by all means - it must be made adequate, real and justified. Because the first step in solving a psychological problem is your recognition of it. If you admit to yourself that you notice similar things about yourself, you can love, respect and appreciate yourself for this.

Where to start loving yourself? If this question arises, it means the time has come to understand yourself. A simple technique will help you begin your journey to loving yourself.

6 simple steps to love yourself

Step #1. Immerse yourself in calm and inner peace, learn to appreciate moments of silence and love. Work with memory - revive those moments in which you felt proud of yourself. Highlight those qualities and skills that you are proud of. Write them down on a piece of paper.

Step #2. Now you need to carefully resurrect those events when you were ashamed of yourself. We need an analysis of what qualities of yours led to this. What don't you like about yourself? This can also be written down, as psychologists recommend. And then forgive your mistakes once and for all.

Step #3. It's time for analysis - look at the lists of your qualities and calculate the “golden mean”. These will be your real qualities as a person, the core that gives you inner support. They could probably even be hung in a frame.

Step #4. The second part of the work of accumulating and awakening self-love is to create two more lists: things, processes, events that you really like, and those that irritate you immensely, unbalance you, stress you.

Step #5. Soberly evaluate the list from step No. 2 - how to remove all this from your life? There is no way to remove them - change your attitude towards them. After all, we are not angry with the sky because it suddenly started raining or snowing. Accept negativity as a spontaneous phenomenon that just came and will go away sooner or later.

Step #6. And you should resort to list No. 1 if you are in a bad mood, stressed or tired. Everything that is described in it will return interest in yourself and the world, use it as the best antidepressant. Look, there are probably a lot of wonderful things described there!

Well, how can you, think about it, not love or respect yourself when you are in high spirits? Here's how to love yourself - evaluate yourself from the outside, treat yourself as an outsider and find real reasons for respect.

These are very simple tips, but they can help you feel love for yourself. Not only your psychological state, but also your physical health depends on this.

Louise Hay also talked about how important it is to start loving yourself and your body. But the truth about self-love was revealed to this venerable lady on the verge of a fatal illness. If she had not found herself alone with cancer, we would never have read her wonderful books.

Let's deal with our relationship to the world

Peace and love are not abstract concepts, not the past and not the future, this is the current moment, we must try to accept and see it here and now. Your world: objects, people, events, circumstances that are near you - worthy of love and gratitude.

It is important to stop judging others: acquaintances, colleagues, bosses, neighbors. They have their own path and consequences for their decisions and actions.

If there is something that particularly irritates you in people, take a closer look at this trait; most likely you have it. Otherwise it wouldn't bother you. When you find it, try to fix it. You will probably have to train yourself to love your shortcomings too.

If you accept them, it will be much easier to cope with negative qualities. Acceptance does not mean allowing yourself to go to great lengths, just stop judging and criticizing yourself.

How to learn to love yourself from a psychological perspective? Turn disadvantages into advantages! Here it is important to understand such a simple thing - treating like with like in this situation will not work. You will have to treat it in reverse:

• envy - by giving gifts;
• greed - generosity;
• jealousy - trust;
• boredom - fun.

As soon as you start this mechanism, you will immediately understand that it is simple - just as you accept and love yourself, so accept and love the world.

An angry person does not feel satisfaction from his anger, he has most likely experienced great disappointment, pain or loss, and thus protects himself from similar things in the future. But you can learn to love again.

• If you want to respond to an insult with an insult, smile.
• There is always a feeling that money is leaking away - try donating it to charity.
• If you feel afraid, laugh in his face. Where there is laughter, fear has no place.

The more you begin to give love and respect to the world, the more love and respect you will receive from it in return.

Parents are a special topic

Where do you start loving yourself, do you think? That's right, from the beginning. Needless to say, fathers and children, the relationship of love and unlove between them is an eternal conflict, often the cornerstone of a lack of respect and self-love.

Only very conscious parents do not want to correct their mistakes through their children. But there is no need to blame anyone, even if in your dad and mom you find traits of pressure and criticism that manifested themselves in your childhood.

The ability to love and forgive distinguishes all happy people. Working from the opposite, you will come to the following conclusion: if you want to be happy, learn to forgive and love. Yourself, your parents, those around you. Here are the instructions, a few steps towards the light.

5 steps to mutual understanding and forgiveness

• Do you remember that your mother used to scold you when you were a child? Try saying kind words to her just like that. Yes, at first it will be very difficult and unusual. However, now is not the time for embarrassment; we are learning what it means to love ourselves.
• Try to help older relatives. Caring will cause their gratitude, and gratitude will give you vitality. Spend your time cleaning their house or buying some valuable gift.
• Don't try to please everyone. This, by the way, applies to all relationships, not just with parents.
• Another important principle applies here: you owe exactly as much as you decide for yourself. Your generosity is not a reason to take advantage of you. Be selfless, but don't allow yourself to be manipulated.
• Try to create constructive and collective memories with your parents. If you still remember some offensive word said a long time ago, it means that it hurt you deeply.

Discuss this - just without turning into conflict and accusations. Say that you were offended and it still hurts to remember this moment. Discussion and reliving of acute moments will make it possible to untie this karmic knot and thus get rid of complexes. If it is no longer possible to ask, then recreate this picture in your imagination. Try to forgive the offender.

Cultivate gratitude

How can a woman love herself and increase her self-esteem? It’s very simple - you need to try to teach yourself to be grateful to yourself and the world, to celebrate at least small reasons for this every day. You can start with a simple phrase that reflects a real event, but is capable of raising self-esteem at least a little:

• “Today I baked a delicious cake and will treat it to my colleagues. I’m great, everyone at work will be pleased.”
• “A passerby smiled at me. Thanks to him, I look great today.”

Following the instructions of Mrs. Louise Hay, you can compose your own phrases that inspire you, record them on audio or video and review or listen to them at a convenient time. It will be love for yourself and the world that will program you for positive changes.

“I am absolutely healthy and happy. I love and respect myself. I like my life. I love nature and the world around me. Thank you, life, because I have such wonderful parents (friends, work, home, child, cat),” is the simplest example of a positively charged affirmation.

It must be real, just like your desire to love life. If not immediately, then over time you will feel gratitude ripening and growing in your heart. You will also feel strength and love.

Everything is fine now

The thought should be positive - this is a fact. You need to try to change the way you think: instead of reproaching yourself - “I don’t know how to cook”, it’s better to think - “I have so many interesting things to learn about cooking.”

“I look bad” is an example of a negative way of thinking. This would be more suitable for you: “There’s a great hairdresser there. Today my hair will become chic.” “I was treated badly, I was fired in vain” - no. Yes – “Many doors are open to me. I will choose new opportunities for myself.” The highest act of self-love is to see your radiant future.

And don’t think that everything will be fine for you. After all, everything is fine with you, here and now.

Now you yourself can easily answer the question “How to learn to love yourself?” Here are some more basic tips:

• Show yourself, make yourself known to the world with kindness and love (charity, volunteering, cleaning springs, environmental events will come in very handy). This way you can raise not only your mood, but also your level of vital energy.
• Live your emotions, don’t hide them in a dark closet of the subconscious and don’t let them control you (if you want to cry, cry, but try to give yourself a certain time for this: 3 minutes and 20 seconds is more than enough).
• Don't transfer your negative emotions onto other people. If you can’t cope with your feelings on the fly, you can take advantage of the opportunity for solitude. It is important to try to work with the emotional wave, recognize and conquer it: “The boss scolded me undeservedly, that’s why I’m angry. I won’t allow any hatred to arise, he’s just very tired.”
• Love as you know how, and learn to love from others. You can give gifts, praise, give compliments, take you to the cinema, watch an interesting video, discuss books, laugh with those people who are nearby. Just like that. Soon the world will reciprocate and love you.
• Allow yourself to do what you have dreamed of and what you have long wanted to achieve, but did not dare: travel desperately, jump with a parachute, buy an unimaginable dress. Try to let yourself go.

You will succeed, you now know exactly how to learn to love yourself! Even an attempt to give up self-pity is important; acceptance of yourself, your parents, freedom from the need to judge others, the ability to forgive and thank heaven and life are important. Love and be loved! Author: Maria Serova

Where to start or how to learn to love yourself is the first thing a new happy life begins with.Increased self-esteem. At the end of the article there is something to keep in mind for yourself.

Welcome friends to the site, today is about self-love. Loving yourself turns out to be not so easy at all; this article only gives directions on where to look and what you should pay attention to. Self-love is where any person needs to start. This is the beginning of relationships with people and in life itself and within the family.

Success or failure in life largely depends directly on how much we love ourselves; our internal state cannot be harmonious without accepting ourselves as real, and it is impossible to have a full-fledged human personality development, without love and respect for yourself.

A simple example: a person’s self-esteem changes throughout life, at some point, for some of his actions or having learned to value himself, a person somewhere consciously, somewhere not, begins to think about quitting smoking (and he smoked all his life). Growing self-esteem begins to influence him, push him and help him in his actions. The opposite option, quitting smoking in order to gain self-respect, often does not give results.

But you really need to learn this, especially if you understand that you are not satisfied with your life, and here, first of all, you need to start with self-love. Many reasons influence our respect and love for ourselves and the world around us. One of these
, this is criticism directed at oneself and self-examination. After all, many simply engage in self-flagellation, scolding them for every little thing, blaming them for trifles, but in order to praise themselves, a lot of problems arise with this.

It seems to a person that if he had achieved something else, then he could say to himself “well done” and rejoice at it. But why prohibit yourself from enjoying yourself already? Now?

Many people realize that their feelings of self-pleasure, joy and enjoyment of life are hampered by shortcomings on which all attention is concentrated and, as a result, by a lack of self-love.

Think for yourself where love will come from if your entire inner space is filled with self-criticism and self-analysis of dissatisfaction with yourself and not only with yourself, but also with those around you. If you are determined to search within yourself, you will only look for the bad in other people. Where then does trust, positivity and love, which are so important in relationships, come from?

So how to learn to love yourself, where to start

It is very important, having answered the question, to understand for yourself and as early as possible what is more profitable - to praise and support yourself internally or to scold and engage in self-flagellation? Do you feel good when you look for and actively nurture your shortcomings? Does this help you in life?

Many people love to look back at their past, looking for negative thoughts about themselves, which were often formed in childhood or appeared in adulthood. This negative experience of the past certainly puts pressure on a person and affects his present and future.

So should you turn to him if you want a different, happier life? By the way, you can read about this and other things in the article "". You need to accept the experience in order to use it in the future to avoid similar mistakes, but you cannot blame yourself for it.

Right from today stop looking back, what happened was. Get started gradually fill yourself and your life with something new - positive views, self-confidence and love. Love first of all for YOURSELF. There are simple words you need to tell yourself every day:

• Great, I can do this, I’m not bad at it
• I don't look bad at all, I just look great no matter what
• What a great time I had with my friends yesterday, we had a good chat
• It's cold and rainy outside, and now I'm drinking hot, delicious coffee - you need to learn to enjoy any little things and feel them well.

Look for other words of encouragement and support for yourself, find the pleasant little things in life, they are in everything, you just need to look closely. And stop when you catch yourself thinking, “I’m doing something wrong,” “there’s something bad with me,” get used to a different way of thinking, tell yourself, “everything is fine with me, everything is fine.” At first, such a thought will calm you down, and after a while it will give you pleasant emotions, joy, and along with them, the necessary energy.

Some may say, this is all clear, but it’s much more difficult to do - Yes, to make it more difficult, but very often a person is mistaken only in that he is looking for complex solutions, he is tuned in to obstacles, it seems to him that any achievement is necessarily associated with many difficulties and problems , this is a misconception.

As long as you think so, We are sure of this, your life will be accompanied by numerous obstacles. Often everything is much simpler than it seems, and a lot is achieved simple decisions and actions, do not complicate life for yourself, it is not easy anyway. You found out something, decided, and just do it without straining yourself. It is very important not to make extra efforts, not to try, you just need to take it and do it.

This is a simple example: These are our actions, the actions of adults, they are not like the actions of a child. When an adult does something, he pursues some specific goal, all his actions are accompanied by the thought of the goal.

The child does not just pursue the goal itself, the child is primarily interested in the process itself, his actions are not accompanied by the thought of doing something complete, he is interested in the very pleasure that he receives in the process - this is what he needs to start from, without thinking about the final goals. It will be achieved, but without unnecessary hassle and difficulties. Good luck!

And in order to begin to deeply understand ourselves and solve our internal problems that so prevent us from loving ourselves, I recommend this article. There will be very important points about your attitude towards yourself and life in general.