Positive predictions for the new year. Predictions in prose

In preparation for New Year's holidays, you need to think about how you will entertain your guests. It will be very boring to drink and eat all the time, but New Year 2018 is a cheerful and kind holiday.

You can hold fun competitions, or you can make funny and comic predictions for the New Year of the Dog 2018. On this page you will find them. There will be short and funny predictions, in poetry and prose. Be sure to warn your guests that these predictions are of a comic nature.

It is best to present such predictions as follows. Write them on pieces of paper and put them in a container. Guests will take out and read the predictions.

Waiting for you this year
Happiness and peace in everyday life.

And even if the rooster is not a migratory rooster,
A great vacation awaits you!

Don't expect much from the year
Love is enough for you!

May your wish come true this year,
You need to keep your promise!

Waiting for you this year
The road is long, my friend.
You will go through it many times,
From home to work and back!

Wait for a salary increase
Or a new addition to the family!
***

Fun awaits you at the beginning of the year,
And after that there will only be a binge with a hangover.
So friend, don't yawn
Improve your health!

This year will be busy
Full of things to do, worries, troubles.
To get even with them,
You will have to try!

Find time for love
But just don't pass by.

Waiting career growth not soon
But things will go uphill!

Waiting for you on the first
A whole crowd of guests!

Those who like to sleep a lot

A year without surprises awaits again!

You will sleep through all the surprises,

Just don't blame us for that!

The cockroaches in your head will have a very fun year.

Next year your friends will not forget you. You can't forget someone who owes you money.

Next year all your problems will go away. Because even they are bored with you...

Your life next year will be as multifaceted as a glass. Well, you understand...

Your dreams will gain strength and declare war on your sofa.

Next year you will understand that your inner core is a pain in the ass.

Next year, your body will decide for itself when it sleeps, where it sleeps and with whom it sleeps. Don't contradict him - he knows better!

You will spend your vacation where everything is inclusive - with relatives.

If you get bored, sing romances. Your finances will always keep you company.

The bad news is you will gain weight. Good news- the increase will occur in the wallet area.

From bad habit in the new year
You will definitely get rid of it.
But here's the problem: instead of one
Two new ones will replace them

You will spend your vacation at sea,
You will warm both body and soul.
You spend the entire amount, you get burned five times,
You'll gain six kilograms.

Smile always, smile everywhere,
Smile on land and water!
Fate will repay you for your smiles
A couple of wrinkles and a lot of money!

Either you eat it, or you pump it up,
Or you'll sit in a chair -
Know that next year
You will grow your butt significantly.

If you start kissing
Every day for half an hour,
All dreams will begin to come true.
Life will be filled with miracles!

U higher power for you
Disappointing forecast:
New Year promises you
Love madness!

If you can, without being lazy,
Plow like a horse on Thursdays
Fate will open the way for you
To big, big money.

If you walk across the field -
You will find money in the field;
When you find the money -
You'll spend it all on a spree

Go around three miles
Talkative hairdresser:
Shreds at random
And he'll cut off your ear!

We need to forget for a year
About cognac, tequila, vodka.
Otherwise you will
In crime reports.

“Dear colleagues! As a friendly team, we worked for our common corporate cause, and now is the time to relax and celebrate the New Year 2017! We didn’t get enough sleep for a whole year, and even if we did get enough sleep, we didn’t have time to have breakfast. We worked as hard as we could for a whole year, and if we didn’t make any effort, it means we were still sleeping. We've been looking forward to it all year and every month. wages, and that day none of us could sleep. We truly deserve a holiday! May we be more obsessed in the New Year more wins above sleep, and a friendly and peaceful atmosphere will reign in our team!”

Noise and bustle in our departments

They never stop talking.

The holiday is already underway

And we have a large amount of work.

Time left until the holiday

Just a little and just a little bit

So guys, let's finish

Bend your backs!

And may the year be happy

Let's dig into food

Your charm and beauty are preparing a happy meeting for you in the New Year

After such a delicious New Year's treat, you will be fighting off guests all year

Keep it clean. Wash your hands before eating. If your hands are dirty, you will get contagious diseases.

If you get up early in the new year, you will never be late for work.

This month you will have unexpected guests

It’s as if everyone has conspired - they’ll eat the refrigerator,

They'll drink all the vodka, they'll break the TV,

They will break all your dishes and ruin the kitchen.

Play the lottery this month

The prediction is that you will certainly be lucky

You just need to buy tickets, partially load them into the tanker,

And partly in two carriages, the rest - in a plane.

This month they will lure you to the dacha to have some fun

Swim, drink beer and eat barbecue

Don't believe these stories - they will force you to work there

Sit down better at home, have a beer at home!

Or maybe even triplets, or maybe quadruples

And then the state will give you a huge apartment

Flag of honor in both hands and a dun horse!!!

This month the computer won't work as it should

Hit the motherboard hard with your fist.

If it doesn’t help, hit it with a sledgehammer, kick it on the monitor...

You will then explain to your superiors: “She started it first!”

This month the boss will get angry for no reason,

You tell him calmly, looking straight: “THIS IS THE GOAT!”

To top off the arguments, quickly, without sudden movements,

Give him a wastepaper basket like a hat.

And relief will come: A question that has been tormenting for a long time

“Who will be laid off” - It will finally be resolved.

Tonight you will fall asleep at the doorstep,

Forgetting to undress and take off your shoes,

Don't judge yourself harshly in the morning:

The main thing is that you were able to wake up.

This month, decide to hijack a plane to the West,

But you can’t think of anything to scare the pilots with,

Read them excerpts from today's newspaper, -

And they will fly to any country with you.

On Monday, early in the morning, the boss will offend you at work,

Without wasting a minute, you call all the newspapers,

Having reported the boss's mobile phone number in private advertisements,

Let him then, the bore, know the salt of everyone entering - free!

Predictions for the New Year of the Dog 2018: short, funny, humorous at the table

You definitely won't be going to work this month.

Why go there in the morning when you want to sleep.

You will be forced to try and work there all day long....

By the way, money from your salary will always be not enough for you

This month you will definitely be invited to work

Ten large corporations, and perhaps even a hundred

Out of great joy you will steal all the secrets

Give them away to your competitors and you will live richly!

Very soon it will happen that you will become the boss

And now everything depends on you that was not on you before,

Start with the main goal - cut everyone's salaries.

Money can come in handy - don’t spend it just like that.

This month you may be sent on vacation to the sea

Crocodiles, cashelots, birds sing there.

The savages are dancing nearby and cooking soup here.

Go on a boat, bring your friends.

So that all the hungry natives can be fed quickly...

This month they will suddenly ask you to help with housework,

Don't go to stores - the groceries stink there,

But no one taught you how to wear a gas mask.

Don't let anyone vacuum with a vacuum cleaner -

He yells like crazy - You don't need an alarm clock.

If you haven't found a penny in your pocket,

Look in your neighbor's pocket - obviously there is money there.

Funny predictions for the New Year 2019

We offer you the following short predictions for the New Year 2019 - the Year of the Yellow Pig:

The pig will bring good luck
And a lot of money to boot.
Be rich for a whole year
And buy a car or a dacha!
All wishes at this hour
Today is just for you.
Sleep more, relax,
Don't fall for the bottle in vain!

These comic predictions for the New Year 2019 are suitable for work colleagues:

You cannot work like a horse in the Year of the Pig, otherwise it will set you back as much as five years.
A promotion awaits you in the new year: your department will move five floors higher.
As you climb the career ladder, watch your step to avoid dizzying consequences.
If next year you enter your boss’s office with your left foot every time, you will get a good position
This year a strong explosion is expected: your enemies and competitors will burst out of anger.
If you get up early every day, you will never be late for work in the new year.

For friends you can prepare such short New Year's predictions with humor:

If you live the whole year without crying, luck will rush to you.
There will be a lot of money, a successful journey awaits you!
There will be no worries, but the main thing is to start working!
New Year of the Pig is good for those who like to sleep. Count the stars and sleep like a baby.
Fireworks await you at the beginning of the new year bright events. We hope you purchased firecrackers.

Women will like these funny predictions for the New Year 2019:

In the coming year, the doors of luxury stores will open for you. And your husband's wallet will lose a lot of weight.
This year you will find a treasure - you will find... your spouse's stash, which he saved all last year.
A passion for cakes and chocolate in the new year means a quick wardrobe update.
Love will brighten your days and they will become bright.

And these short predictions with a joke for the New Year 2019 are for men:

A frying pan given to your wife for New Year is a sign of a bump on your forehead. A beautiful fur coat means love and mutual understanding in the family.
By giving your wife a diamond ring for New Year, you will ensure a wonderful home menu for 12 months.

There is hardly a person who has never made a wish on New Year’s Eve while the clock on the Spasskaya Tower strikes twelve times. Why is this tradition so widespread? Maybe because at this moment one period of life ends and a new one begins, and therefore you especially want to believe in a miracle? Or because the sound of the chimes awakens in the soul the feeling that our ancestors experienced when hearing the bells ringing? New Year's fortune telling 2017 is fun with meaning, just like comic predictions.

Be that as it may, people have always loved to dream and tried to look into the future. That is why horoscopes, predictions and all kinds of fortune telling are still so popular. Why not tell your fortune for the Rooster in the coming 2017? Fortune telling for the New Year 2017 may not be entirely ordinary - for example, using tangerines or fruit juice.

New Year's fortune-telling, of course, is not of such a mystical nature as Christmas fortune-telling. They are lighter, more comical, and therefore do not need to be taken seriously. This is more of a reason to have fun.

Fortune telling for the New Year 2017: what will the mandarin predict?

Offer guests for New Year's table a look into what the coming year will be like. Anyone can say the words:

You know everything, cockerel, bright red comb!

Show us a juicy fruit, and tell us what happens.

After which you need to take a tangerine from the dish. This traditionally New Year's fruit can predict good luck. Peel the fruit and count the slices. A clear number promises you success in all your endeavors, and an odd number promises obstacles in fulfilling your plans. In addition, if there are seeds inside, this means financial well-being. You must definitely eat a tangerine, while thinking about what successes you will have in your work, in personal life or in spiritual growth you are waiting.

New Year's fortune telling with fruit juice

For this fortune telling you will need a small decanter or jug and a glass. Any fruit juice you like can be used as a liquid. Slowly, in a thin stream, pour it from the decanter into the glass, while saying the following words:

The cockerel comes to us from the East.

Come to me, betrothed, whether you are close or far!

Fruit juice, not water - I'll give you something to drink!

After the glass is full, take three small sips. Place the decanter and glass of unfinished juice under the tree overnight. When you go to bed, repeat this phrase mentally. In a dream, wait for the appearance of your betrothed. Well, even if you don’t see him in your dreams, you will definitely meet him in reality in the coming year.

Fortune telling for the New Year: coffee beans

Coffee beans are placed in a beautiful bag. Everyone who wants to tell fortunes carefully shakes it and makes a wish. After this, he puts his hand inside and, picking up a handful, says the following words:

The chickens collected grain so that we could make a wish.

I’ll throw the grain, it will tell you everything!

Having thrown the grains onto a flat table surface, you need to count the number of grains that fell with the mark on top. If there are twelve or more of them, then the desire will certainly come true, and if there are fewer, then all sorts of obstacles to its fulfillment are possible.

What and who will get this year

refrigerators and other household appliances– to necessary purchases
cosmetics and cleaning chemicals - to beautiful appearance and a clean apartment
cars or other means of transportation - to a dynamic life on the road
fur coats, dresses and other outfits - to the ability to look fashionable
children, strollers, pacifiers - to the appearance of babies in the family (children, grandchildren, nephews, etc.)
planes, trains, liners - for travel

Fortune telling by stones

The rooster loves everything beautiful and shiny, so for fortune telling, prepare glass iridescent pebbles or balls. They are usually filled with decorative round vases. If they are not there, it’s okay - take the same grains or peas or beans. The rooster will definitely like them. You can even guess on pasta. The girl, picking up a handful of small objects, puts them on the table one by one, while a counting rhyme sounds. If the grains remain and the words end, they begin again. It is sentenced like this:

Captain, sailor, not a fool at all, an amateur in everything, a rock musician, a great talent, a modest hard worker, a stylish guy, a tramp, a brave boy, fluffy and white, a strong, loving man, a simple driver, good actor, at once - a teeth grinder, a hacker - a hacker, a computer wizard, a good guy, a random passer-by.

Fortune telling with a mirror

A very simple fortune telling is that a mirror doused with water is taken out into the cold at midnight with the words:
Cockerel, tell your fortune
Draw what happens.
I pour water on the mirror
And I will see your choice.

By leaving it for a few minutes, you can get a pattern on the surface of the glass. Here is where to look for what the Cockerel promised. Space for imagination!

Comic fortune telling with TV

What kind New Year's Eve no TV! It can even be used for fun comic fortune telling. The person needs to stand with their back to the screen and name the number. After this, the channel with the named number is turned on and, to the friendly laughter of those gathered, the person watches what awaits him. You can study the numbers of the channels available in advance, write them on separate pieces of paper and put them in a bag, and guests will pull them out one by one.

New Year's Eve is a time of joyful emotions and fun. You can cheer yourself and your friends up with fun and comic fortune telling.

Evening time It is absolutely not necessary to spend it at the table and in front of the TV. Good mood and various games, jokes, riddles will allow you to relax and attract good luck. You can diversify your gatherings with the help of comic fortune telling, which will suit friends and relatives. Good mood and positive emotions are guaranteed.

Love fortune telling

Prepare small cards or pictures with a love theme. On back side write predictions. Place them in a nice bag and mix well. Each guest will pull out a postcard and find out what awaits them in the coming year. Then you can play on each prediction in a comic form and have a lot of fun.

Fortune telling

Write notes with predictions, for example, about traveling, winning the lottery, new love and so on. During the feast, invite guests to take a piece of paper out of the dish and read it aloud. You can also prepare attributes for each note, and each guest will depict what is written. For example, he walks around the room with his arms outstretched, depicting an airplane, or takes a symbolic lottery ticket and will depict wild joy.

Wax fortune telling

Give each guest a candle and a saucer of water. Wax poured onto a plate in fancy patterns will tell about the near future. Together you will be able to examine the resulting patterns and guess the outlines. Give a prize to the one whose pattern most resembles a rooster. Maximum luck and luck awaits him.

Fun fortune telling

Prepare various gizmos and figures. Come up with a story for each and lay it out in front of your guests. It is advisable to have more items than participants. Ask everyone to choose their favorite item. Tell everyone funny stories about what this object means and how it will affect the life of this person. For example, in the New Year, Seryozha’s friend will be traveling on a rocket and collecting stars. Petya will travel by train and along the way will fight with aliens and win back from them the captured power stone that makes our planet turn.

Fortune telling game

Prepare 2 bags. Put notes in one interesting questions, and in the other the answers to them. Each guest first chooses a question, reads it out, and then reads the answer. Often the answer and the question coincide and form funny combinations. This comic fortune telling brings a lot positive emotions guests.

Psychics

Prepare the box and wrap it beautiful paper with the image of stars or something mysterious. Invite guests to pretend to be psychics and take turns guessing what item is in the secret box. If the process is delayed, the magician should take help from colleagues in mystical knowledge. Those who guess correctly will be given small souvenirs as a prize.

Prophecies of the Gypsy

You can amuse your guests and predict their fate by dressing up. A colorful floor-length skirt and a large scarf will help you transform into a gypsy. Several beads and various jewelry will complement the look. A tambourine would be an ideal attribute. Go around the guests and tell everyone what awaits them. Characteristic grimaces and shoulder shakes will provide a cheerful mood and fill the house with fun.

Dreams come true

Offer to guests fun competition to attract good luck. Let everyone show a skit in a cheerful manner and explain what they wish for the New Year without using words. The rest of those present will try to guess what was shown. The first one to name the correct answer will receive sweet prize or New Year's souvenir.

Good mood and positive attitude will give you unforgettable moments of happiness. How you celebrate the New Year is how you will spend it. Fun and happiness from funny competitions and fortune telling will bring good luck, and the whole of 2017 a year will pass on a wave of positivity. We wish you all the best and don't forget to click on the buttons and

30.12.2016 01:02

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