How to praise your man: the secrets of a wise wife. How to praise a man: the right words, examples and advice from psychologists

You should always praise sincerely otherwise the praise will sound like flattery. Sincere words coming from a pure heart will have positive results immediately. And the person to whom the praise is addressed will feel very happy and significant. Be sure that next time any of your requests will be fulfilled immediately.

Praise should be mainly for specific deeds, actions or deeds, and not for the person as a whole. You should be especially careful when praising children for some achievement. If, with every good deed, parents repeatedly repeat what a wonderful child they have, then he may develop too much conceit and inflated self-esteem. In later life, this can play a cruel joke with him. Already an adult, he may be faced with the fact that others do not value him highly enough, as he used to think of himself from childhood. On this basis, the "former child prodigy" may experience a nervous breakdown.

You need to praise during. For example, you should not praise a husband who fixed a closet door three months ago that had not been closed for 10 years. Such praise will cause him bewilderment and suspicion: “Again, she needs something from me!” Much more appropriate would be this praise if it sounded immediately after the door was repaired.

Praise should be in the correct form. For each person, you need to choose a place and a way to praise him. Someone will be pleased if he is praised in front of everyone, and someone will prefer to receive approval in person. You should be very careful about this and watch people so as not to get into trouble with your good intentions.

You can not set up as an example in front of others a person who has just been praised. Such opposition is unlikely to cause others to want to "take an example from him." On the contrary, it can only bring dissonance into the workforce due to unhealthy competition, resentment, etc.

In the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget to say words of gratitude to loved ones or our employees. Need to more often praise the people around you (for a job well done, for example).

But you have to praise in moderation. It is important not to overdo it here. If you praise people too often, then it can give a negative result. The repetition of praise without much need is like the action of a drug: a person gets used to it and waits. At the same time, he develops a sense of superiority over his colleagues. The cessation of praise can lead to a state of discomfort. On this basis, a person can develop envy of someone else's success, suspicion, and all sorts of other signs of an "unrecognized genius." Therefore, praise should only be given when there is a good reason for it.

Now you know how to praise people. Don't forget to do this in your daily life. After all, a kind word is also pleasant for a cat!

We reveal the main secret of female charm.

It is necessary to inspire a man that he is wonderful or even brilliant, but that others do not understand this ... Well, good shoes and silk underwear will do the rest.

Lilya Brik

Girls who know how to praise men are never deprived of fans. If you want to make a guy fall in love with you, give him a compliment. But before you use the "magic weapon", take note of a few rules.

Compliment sincerely. Praise for what you really like. No need to tell a guy that he is in great physical shape if he has obvious problems with being overweight. Better look for real virtues for which he can be praised.

Don't make overly abstract, general compliments. Not “How beautiful, strong and smart you are!”, But “What a pumped-up torso you have!” and "You're great with computers!"

Ask for help. Asking for help is such a veiled compliment. You seem to make it clear to a man that you need him and without his intervention you cannot cope with the problem, and he feels strong and needed. “Please open this jar. I can’t do it myself ... ”,“ Oh, my computer is frozen! Can you take a look?" (of course, this request should only be made if the guy understands computers).

Don't talk. A man wants to be an eagle, a lion and a shark, not a cat, a bunny and a sweetie.

Avoid ambiguity. Compliments like “You have a non-standard figure” or “Today you finally joked funny” will push a man away from you.

Don't overdo it. Do not praise a man too often and for any reason. He may have the idea that you want something from him.

Examples

And now let's take a closer look at the qualities of character, skills and features of appearance, for which a man should be praised.

Ability to drive a car

Men attach great importance to this skill. Tell him something like "I only feel safe when you're driving" and he'll be subdued!

Ability to carry on a conversation

If your friend is a good conversationalist, be sure to tell him about it. For example, “I really enjoy talking to you. You talk so interestingly!”, “You left, and I immediately became bored. There is no one else to talk to…”

Physical form

Most men pay a lot of attention to their physical form. Your friend will be flattered if you admire his biceps or abs.

Sense of humor

Girls love guys with a good sense of humor, so guys go to great lengths to be witty. The best compliment to a man with a great sense of humor is your sincere laughter at his jokes.

Ability to protect

You will make the right move if you tell a man that you feel safe under his protection. Surely, the gentleman will want to meet with you again to feel strong and courageous. “I'm not afraid to walk with you even at night”, “Could you walk me to the apartment? I'm afraid to go into the entrance alone.

Appearance and clothing

Guys don't often get compliments about their looks. Therefore, your friend will be very happy if you praise his style of dressing or appreciate his new jeans.

Hobby

The vast majority of men have some hobbies: for example, football, fishing, skydiving. For a man to be disposed towards you, be sure to take an interest in his hobby. Let him invite you to a match or take you fishing with him. During the event, praise your gentleman: “Wow, what a fish! I have never seen such a huge pike!”

Praise can be a great helper in raising children, if you know how to use it, many modern psychologists say. Indeed, some praise - they will not praise their child, but he has already developed immunity to the words of his parents, which he hears with or without reason. After a while, adults are surprised that the child stops striving for better results and working on himself. After all, he already has the installation that he is the best.

Other parents skimp on words of approval and encouragement and achieve the same effect, but the child begins to think: “Why try, because I’m good for nothing anyway.” And someone seems to be praising for the work, but the child does not seem to want to believe the words of an adult and perceives them with hostility.

About praise from the book Perfect Parents in 60 Minutes. Express course from world experts in parenting”:

“Why do children refuse when I praise them? I tell my daughter that she is smart, and she replies:"Lisa is smarter." I say that she is beautiful, and she:" I am fat ". I say she's a great big sister and a gifted artist, and she kicks her little one and says she can't draw. Sometimes I think she wants to prove me wrong.

It's even worse with my son. He threw the ball into the basketball basket and finally hit. I screamed:« Great! You are a real basketball player!” He threw the ball and went into the house. I don't understand. Every time I try to praise my children, my words have the opposite effect.”

You have just pointed out the problem of global praise associated with the evaluation of children. Words like "smart", "beautiful" and "beautiful" not only make them focus on their own shortcomings, but also encourage them to stop trying. If I'm already beautiful, why take the risk - after all, next time it may not work out!

Does this mean that you need to stop praising children?

This means that if we want to help children believe in themselves and keep trying, then we need to avoid judgment. Forget words like"good", "excellent", "fantastic", "best". Learn to simply describe. You can describe what you see or feel.

Describe what you see:

• “You struggled with this problem until you found a solution!”
• “You still made that throw! The ball hit right in the basket!”
• "Even though you had your own things to do, you helped your sister with her homework."

Describe your feelings:

• “I like your painting “Sunset on the Sea”. It creates a feeling of happiness and peace.”
• "Every time I remember your joke, I can't help laughing."

Describing what we see or feel is almost magical. We not only confirm the value of the child's efforts, but also help him to believe in himself. We motivate him to further efforts. The inner message of this description is very clear:« I didn't give up until I solved the problem...», « The more I practice, the better I get!..», « I can be kind even in difficult circumstances..."," I can joke ... "," I drew a great landscape...».

Don't doubt it. The description is an excellent tool for raising self-confident and responsible children.

And here is another option for useful praise.

Summarize what you see in words:

• “You rehearsed until you learned every last note. This is what I call perseverance."
• “I see that you left the last piece of cake for your sister. That's willpower!"
• “You grabbed all the leaves and put them in a bag. And I didn't even ask you! Now that's what I call responsibility!

What if there is nothing to praise? Imagine that the school bus is about to arrive, and your daughter is not yet dressed ... Or the child complains that the teacher asks too much and it is simply impossible to do everything in time.

There are times when we really want to tell our children everything that we think about them.

• “Why are you dressing so slowly? Look at you! You are not dressed yet! So you'll never catch the bus!"
• “If you had sat down for the lessons when I told you, and did not play stupid video games, then you would have done everything. You are always looking for an excuse for your own laziness!”

But you should not give in to temptation. It is necessary to describe to the child what he has achieved, even if these achievements are insignificant.

• “You got dressed, had breakfast and brushed your teeth. Now all you have to do is find shoes and socks. And you're ready!"
• “Let’s see… ten exercises for adding and subtracting fractions. It's tiresome. But I see that you have already solved the first two examples. Looks like you're on the right track."

By celebrating the progress made (even if it is small), we instill in children the confidence and desire to keep trying.

But let's say there's nothing to praise a child for. And suppose you have one of those hypersensitive kids who get upset to death when they realize they've done something wrong.

Help your child understand that his mistake can be an important discovery. One mother told us about how her three-year-old son shook his cup of juice while talking to her. Suddenly the lid came off the cup and the juice spilled onto the boy's shirt and onto the floor. The boy began to cry hysterically.

“Sammy,” her mother said solemnly, “you have made a discovery!

The boy stopped crying and looked at her in surprise.

Very calmly, the mother said:

“You just discovered that when you shake a closed cup, the lid can come off and the juice will spill out!”

Grandma came to the house the next week. She placed her purse and glasses on the kitchen counter. A minute later she reached for her purse and dropped her glasses. Grandmother exclaimed:

Sammy tugged on her jacket and said very solemnly:

“Grandma, you just made a discovery!”

- Opening? she wondered, raising her glasses.

“You discovered that if you put your glasses on the edge of the counter, they can fall off!”

- Wow! Grandmother said admiringly. - I'll remember it!

Probably, there is not a single full-fledged girl who would not like to please the male sex. There are many tricks that allow you to attract the attention of a man, but one of the most effective is, of course, compliments. They are loved by rich and poor alike; high social status and low. Well, that's all.

Only from a compliment that is unsuccessful, you just want to turn away or even leave the person who said it. Especially if the compliment hurts male pride. Everything should be literate, even such a trifle. How can you praise a man, and how to praise a man correctly: this article will tell examples of correct compliments as opposed to erroneous ones.

Stupid criticism is not as noticeable as stupid praise.
Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin

Principles that reveal the idea of ​​how to properly praise a man

The main principle is that the man is the best. All. Other accolades will not be accepted.

Naturally, the forms of presenting this thought can be completely different, both successful and unsuccessful. It is best to dress this thought in beautiful clothes than dishonoring manhood.

So, how do you need to praise a man so that there are great chances for a result?

• In no case do not compare him with the rest, even when he is better than the rest. Nobody likes being compared. You respect a man's opinion, right?
  You can't praise a man for everything. This should only be done if he really deserves it.
  

  Unfortunately, many girls use this advice as an excuse not to praise their loved one. This leads to the fact that either the relationship breaks up. Remember, every person has something to praise for.

  
  

  Nobody is stopping you from learning. You won't know how to properly compliment a guy if you've never done it before. If you have these abilities, it does not exempt you from practice. It often happens that more talented people achieve less in life just because they did nothing for self-development.

  
  

  Compliments must be sincere.. If this rule is not respected, then sooner or later your loved one will hear falsehood and your relationship can be considered over after some time.

  How to praise a man according to his status and age?

  In fact, there is not much difference how old a person is and what social position he occupies. If you mean something to him, he will appreciate your compliments. However, it is necessary to understand some nuances here. It is obvious that the child accepts compliments better and can be praised for little things. Because the child is dependent on you.

  
  

  So, we need to know how to properly praise a man with status. Examples of a proper compliment are: