They smile, have fun and enjoy their lives. Connect with people on a deeper level
According to most psychologists, if your life is boring and uninteresting, then most likely the problem is not in the surrounding circumstances, but in yourself. And although most people try not to admit to themselves that they lead a rather monotonous life, there are a number of signs by which you can easily understand whether this is true or not. For what exactly - in the ELLE review.
They don't listen to the other person
It is difficult to build a constructive dialogue with such a person, because he is either silent all the time, reacting to your remarks only with a meaningful “uh-huh” and shaking his head, or, on the contrary, he constantly tells stories from his life and at the same time does not allow you to insert a word in response. .
Doesn't respond to body language
It's no secret that, along with verbal communication There is always body language in the dialogue, which gives your speech a more emotional coloring. But if you are dealing with a boring interlocutor, then don’t even try to stir him up with gestures. No matter how actively you “augment” your story with gestures, you are unlikely to be able to get feedback from such a person.
They don't know how to make their interlocutor laugh
Having a sense of humor in a person actually shows that he is able to evaluate an idea or an event from different points of view, and then rework it and relay it from his own angle. Boring people usually look at information solely as it was conveyed to them, without bothering to “process” it.
Doing the same things
Wonder why some of your friends refuse to join you when you invite them to an opening. new exhibition or try your hand at, say, fencing. The answer is very simple. Bored people are afraid to leave their comfort zone, so they always visit the same places.
Can't keep up the conversation
You will never hear a detailed opinion about a particular situation from a boring person, because he is simply too lazy to think about it. Typically, such interlocutors respond with neutral phrases like “maybe”, “it’s difficult for me to say”, “probably you’re right”, “never thought about it”.
Don't have their own opinion
This may not immediately catch your eye, but if you start to notice that your interlocutor reduces most of your discussions to banal phrases that you “already heard somewhere,” then you have a typical boring man, who has long ceased to bother forming his own views on current events, but simply relays what he hears around him.
Can't tell stories
The ability to convey any story in colors is not only a sign of an artistic nature, but also the fact that a person deeply experiences the events that he talks about. Therefore, if your interlocutor has failed to interest you in his story, most likely he has simply forgotten how to experience emotions and empathize with others.
Can't put themselves in other people's shoes
The ability to take the side of another person shows that your interlocutor is able to think big and is ready to try on different social roles, and is not captured by his prejudices.
They have nothing to tell
They talk about topics that are interesting only to them
An interesting conversationalist usually knows how to adapt to those around him and chooses topics that will be appropriate. A boring person doesn’t care that you are not captivated by stories about how he once again failed to wash his car / buy the right variety of grapes / download an update to his phone, he will continue to tell in all the details what is interesting only to him.
In the “School of Life” many articles were written about how to achieve success, how to get rich and get rid of material problems. Let's look at this problem from the other side! Let's try to identify ten habits that lead to poverty.
1. Feeling sorry for yourself.
Poverty-minded people feel sorry for themselves and believe that they are not destined to be rich. Some people feel sorry for themselves for being born a woman (because men have more opportunities), others feel sorry for themselves for full figure(because thin people get better jobs), some mourn their height, nationality, skin color, religion of their ancestors, some people feel sorry for themselves for not getting married yet, others cry because of a ring on ring finger or because of the stamp of divorce, the young see the source of problems in inexperience, the elderly - in their age. What do you think, if a person feels sorry for himself because of some unimportant fact and focuses on it all day, what will the people around him do? Feeling sorry for yourself is a great way to gain a multi-ton anchor that will stop you on your way personal development and will ensure eternal poverty. Feeling sorry for yourself is the best method of finding a low-paid job and finding a miserable existence.
2. Greed.
A constant search for a price tag with the inscription “Discount” and a store with a “Sale” banner, an unwillingness to pay for a good education for your children (because no one helped you), the desire to force employees of your own company to work as much as possible for as little money as possible - these are the right ones signs that poor people's second habit is already in you. The desire for total savings is not a sign of wisdom, but an indicator that you are experiencing an imbalance of income and expenses and are approaching its resolution from the wrong direction. A person programmed for wealth is ready to pay their real value for things and generously reward the work of his assistants - and expects the same from others.
3. Doing things you hate.
Katya hates washing dishes, but no one wants to help her. Ivan hates walking the dog, but is too lazy to build an enclosure for it. Sergei Petrovich becomes furious at the need to prepare a quarterly report, but none of his deputies are able to do it. Lisa despises being an auditor, but this is the only way she can pay for the loan she took out to buy a car last summer. All these people are prepared for failure and poverty - the reason for this is the feeling that the need to do unpleasant things evokes in them. The key to breaking the poor man's third habit is to do not what is necessary, but what gives the most satisfaction. Only in this area will you achieve excellent results!
4. Measuring success with money.
A poor man is sure that only having a certain amount of money can bring him joy. Only a certain amount in a bank account can give him the opportunity to feel happiness thanks to designer clothes, a beautiful mansion, travel, independence from a husband or parents, or leaving work. But practice shows that happiness never comes. A successful person measures happiness in units that are more meaningful than dollars, rubles or yuan. What exactly - everyone decides for themselves.
5. Waste more money than you can afford.
Credit cards and smiling bank employees will be happy to help you get out of debt. After all, a person who does not want to become successful does not want to understand the difference between a useful loan taken for development own business, and a disastrous loan for the purchase of a luxury foreign car or a huge mansion.
6. Choosing instant benefits.
The desire to get everything immediately and to the maximum is an eternal characteristic of poor people. They are unable to understand that by getting a position with an average salary in a reputable company, in a few years you can have much more than if you pay attention only to how much you get in a month. Students who are ready to fail say that the institute only takes away their time, which could be spent on “making profits.”
7. Whining.
Is life hard? Just terrible? There is discrimination, corruption, rudeness, crime all around - for you, to a normal person, there is no road to success? Every potential loser would agree with all this. The vaccine against this habit is creativity. Find unique opportunities to fight vices external environment, emerge victorious from an initially unfavorable situation for you!
8. Comparing yourself with others.
Petya thinks that he is better than his classmates because he is the only one who graduated from the eighth grade with excellent marks. Vasya is sure that he is worse than all his friends, because he is the only one who does not work for summer holidays. Roma despises his brother because he doesn’t yet have a Lexus, which Roman bought yesterday. And Lena wants to strangle her friend because she has more fans. All these people have a well-developed eighth habit of failure - the desire to compare themselves with others. Think about whether you need this habit or is it better to prevent the outside world from taking control of the inside?
9. Measuring wealth in money.
Truly rich people not only broke the connection between happiness and money (by getting rid of the fourth habit of the poor), but also crossed out the equal sign between the size of the account and the concept of wealth. Real wealth is the ability to attract money, create it empty space, organize new types of business - and then you will not be afraid of any taxes from the gene. prosecutors, no robbery or stolen credit card numbers. For real successful person does not depend on the volume of your own bag of gold.
10. Isolating yourself from own family.
The greatest losers are those who alienate themselves from their family because their family members are unwilling to support them. difficult moment, borrow money, understand, share beliefs and the like. They do not understand that the family is an excellent source of internal support that can be turned to when there is nothing else left in all other areas of life. Only the love of loved ones can help you rise from your knees when there is no hope left - and then true greatness is achieved.
And let your acquaintance with these ten habits be limited only to the text of this article.
What makes us happy? The answer is simple - these are our habits, which determine how happy we are. Psychologists have identified ten useful habits that the “lucky” people have.
1. The fact remains that happy people are not at all interested in what others might think about them. Agree, we are used to worrying about what opinion people have about us. But do not forget that there are as many opinions as there are people in the world. It’s not even worth imagining what will happen if we decide to please everyone. Coco Chanel also exclaimed: “I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t think about you at all.” Everyone likes someone who is independent and self-confident, who has a strong life position People. Be just such a person, and don’t look at the opinions and condemnations of people around you.
2. You need to be able to thank from the heart. The fact is that gratitude can work real miracles. When we give thanks, we focus our attention not on what we do not yet have, but on what we already have. As they say, like can attract like. Therefore, try to respond with gratitude to everything, and before you go to bed, remember at least 5 reasons to be grateful for your life.
3. Failed love? Betrayal of friends? Missed opportunity? Happy people don't torture yourself with regrets. We are all prone to regret, but don't forget that we spend a lot of our lives doing it. What happened cannot be corrected, but drawing the right conclusions will never be superfluous.
Do you want to catch your luck? Then learn about 10 habits that you should never acquire if you really want to be a successful person. Here they are:
1. The habit of jumping to conclusions.
Very often it seems to us that we already know in advance what will happen and how, and we begin to act according to our erroneous ideas about the future. In fact, life likes to throw up surprises that are even difficult to imagine, so you shouldn’t rely on your hasty conclusions. It is also a mistake to think that we know the reasons for people’s actions and their subsequent actions. This is absolutely false, and very often leads to conflicts and misunderstandings in relationships.
2. The habit of dramatizing events.
Don't exaggerate minor failures or get upset over little things. With this behavior, we develop anxiety, which prevents us from being successful in life.
3. The habit of creating stereotypes and labels.
When we try to determine the essence of things once and for all, we can be very mistaken. In fact, everything in the world is much more interesting than it might seem at first glance, so you shouldn’t try to force everything into a certain framework.
4. The habit of dividing everything into “black and white”.
In fact, there are thousands of options in the color palette of life, and the desire to get “all or nothing” leads to the fact that we simply do not notice them. There is no perfect job, friends, or relationships. Great art is to be happy with what you have.
5. The habit of generalizing.
Often we try to find a trend in the series of our successes and failures. In fact, several repeated situations do not indicate anything. Treat every event as valuable in itself.
6. The habit of taking everything to heart.
Don't worry about bad news on TV, stories about your neighbor's illness, or about your colleague's misfortune. Sympathize, help, but don’t worry about other people’s problems.
7. The habit of trusting surging emotions.
Your feelings show your subjective perception of the world, which is not always correct.
8. The habit of being apathetic.
To be lucky, you have to be an optimist. Wait, seek and believe in the good - and you will receive it! People with a negative attitude often don't even notice opportunities that could bring them luck.
9. The habit of doing everything according to the rules.
Often we set certain limits for ourselves that bring nothing but difficulties and nervousness. Don't create unnecessary obstacles where there are none.
10. The habit of bringing up the past.
It is much better to leave the past alone, forgive all offenses to yourself and others, and with with a pure heart live on. Don't keep past failures and disappointments in your heart. Move on, believing in luck and hoping for the best!
And in our Library " Main idea"You can read, from which you will learn how to properly approach the realization of your most cherished dream!
What should you not do if you want to live happily ever after?
1. Dissolve in your partner
“You are my everything” - was there such a song in the 1970s? and it is still popular today. Romantic, right? Not really. You can't assume that your partner is everything to you. After all, then it turns out that everything else, including you, your habits, goals, aspirations and desires, means nothing. A relationship where one person dissolves in the other and lives for him cannot be healthy. Moreover, if the second partner does not require such sacrifices at all.
2. Stay in touch all the time
Communication is good. This is the key to a strong relationship. However, constant communication is strange. I have a colleague whose girlfriend calls at least 12 times a day. The topics of the calls are mostly minor: “Hello! I'm going to lunch. Have you eaten yet? Okay, bye." And half an hour later: “Can you imagine who I met in the cafe? Former classmate. You don't know her." And an hour later: “I’m thinking about cooking dinner today or ordering pizza.”
Such communication is only adequate for eighth graders. But as an adult, you need to become more self-sufficient. It is not necessary to share with your partner every thought that comes to your mind and report every little thing that happens to you.
3. Take out bad moods
You were yelled at at work, your coat got dirty on the subway, there was a line at the store. You come home in a lousy mood, and... then your partner says something out of place. You snap at him. It is he who is to blame for the fact that your day was not a success. To do this is a special form of selfishness, indicating an inability to separate the personal from the general. If you behave this way all the time, you will soon believe that your partner is... main reason your bad mood. Then the relationship is over.
4. Control your emotions
“You didn’t hug me tightly enough,” “You’re not happy to see me,” “Why are you so serious,” “You don’t love me anymore.” You can’t constantly find out what emotions your partner is experiencing and why he does it. And it’s just as stupid to think that he is sad, sad or nervous solely because of you. Perhaps he is having trouble at work or is tired.
It's normal to worry about someone else's problems, especially if they are close to you. But you don’t need to try to control and analyze his feelings all the time. If he wants, he will tell you everything himself.
5. Do everything together
Brushing your teeth together, going to work, spending weekends, visiting... what's next? Wearing the same T-shirts? No, that's weird. Just because you're together doesn't mean you're alone now common life for two.
People in a couple complement each other. You can and even should have different hobbies, hobbies, friends, biorhythms and habits. There is no need to adjust your life to suit someone else. Moreover, every living person sometimes just needs to be alone.
6. Be brutally honest
It's okay to tell the truth, but you don't have to tell your partner everything. He might be better off not knowing how much your shoes cost, that you don't like the way he sings in the shower, or that you think his friend is sexy. The main thing is not to get carried away. Some things that confuse or worry you are best discussed right away.
7. Settle scores
Some relationships eventually turn into a competition to see who messes up the most. Partners begin to remind each other of past grievances, mistakes and debts at any opportunity. This only exacerbates the feeling of dissatisfaction and mutual mistrust. And in the end, it encourages partners to lie big, to cheat and pretend.
8. Take care
“You need to have lunch / dress warmly / take some medicine / go to the doctor”... When one partner turns into an annoying mommy for the other, it’s annoying. Taking care of your loved one is wonderful, but you don't have to do it like they're 8 years old. He himself is able to decide when he needs to eat and how to dress.
9. Show off your relationship
This is the problem of our time. You are so happy that you want to notify the whole world about it through social networks. And now your page turns into “ memorial complex» love with daily photographs, sensual messages and confessions. You shouldn’t be surprised that your friends are no longer able to like them.
10. Speak in hints
Instead of openly telling your partner about your problems, you push him to the right decision. You say: “No, I’m not offended,” but with all your appearance you demonstrate the opposite. This passive aggression, which shows that you are closed when communicating with your partner. This behavior causes uncertainty and irritation. It’s better to openly talk about your desires, doubts and problems.
