Why do we need feelings? The psychology of feelings is a riddle or an open book.

Sometimes it seems that in the modern world, focused on success and achievement, there is no place for feelings and emotions.

Often people prefer not to notice feelings, ignore, devalue, treat them as something shameful and inappropriate, showing restraint and prudence even in the most stressful moments of life.

At the same time, there are known facts that a person in the process of evolution lived for a long time with his instincts and emotions. And children, being born, show a lot of desire, spontaneity and creative energy, directly and emotionally reacting to events in life. In addition, in many areas of psychology, research and work with feelings are given a leading role. A natural question arises -

Why do we need feelings?

Firstly, they are the fastest and most direct reaction to the events happening to us. It is thanks to them that we feel danger, discomfort. They let us know that something is wrong in our environment, in relationships with others or with our internal state, they allow us to take care of ourselves, to avoid danger. Especially useful in this regard are feelings such as anxiety, fear and disgust.

Feelings tell us about our desires and needs. When a person experiences strong emotions, such as anger, sadness, irritation, guilt, resentment, envy, shame, it means that he has some very strong need that is currently not being satisfied. There is a desire, the realization of which is blocked for some reason. Thus, a person experiences frustration and the emotions associated with it.

Feelings are the source of energy for our actions. This is the "fuel" that helps us to move, not to stand still, to achieve what we want. We can feel uplifted by anticipation, curiosity, feelings of love, anger, and a desire to stand up for our values.

Also we experience pleasant feelings when our desires and needs are satisfied. When we get exactly what we wanted, we can experience joy, pleasure, delight, gratitude. In this way, feelings reinforce what is good for us, help us take care of ourselves. And help us to distinguish our real desires from those imposed from outside.

Also, as strange as it sounds, Feelings themselves are already a means of controlling our behavior.. If we were deprived of the opportunity to experience emotions, we would immediately switch to a response action in various situations - we would run away or attack each other, we would take away what we need, we would realize our instincts without taking into account the social context. Instead, we may get upset, cry, express indignation, feel shame and anxiety. In this way, feelings mediate our behavior, giving us time to think, assess the situation and possible consequences, and make more appropriate choices.

How do we often deal with feelings?

Feelings can be overlooked. It often happens that a person has a very high sensitivity threshold - that is, he needs a very strong or prolonged impact so that he begins to feel discomfort or a desire to change something. Such people, as a rule, are outwardly calm, patient, but at the same time they can often stay in situations that are uncomfortable for them for a long time - at work in relationships with others. At the same time, they can periodically experience anxiety attacks, suffer from psychosomatic diseases, be treated for headaches, panic attacks, direct their energy to treat diseases.

Also, a person can avoid confronting strong feelings simply by avoiding situations in which they can be tested. Try to be inconspicuous, uncommunicative, live a monotonous life - work-home-work. As a rule, a person does this unconsciously, subjectively feeling that he is comfortable in this state.

The next way to deal with feelings is to suppression. What are attempts to relieve stress in various repressive ways - from prolonged sleep to drinking alcohol. In a “lighter” version, this is the ability to “keep face” in front of other people and circumstances. Which in the end also lead either to psychosomatic problems, or to the search for a discharge of emotions elsewhere.

A somewhat healthier way of dealing with emotions is to reaction, that is, an expression through action. It can be crying, punching a wall, a long run, playing sports. Or a fit of hysteria, aggression against others. This method brings a person temporary relief, but as a rule, does not change either his general condition or the situation in which he is.

Also often found replacing one feeling with another. For example, a person from childhood “learned” that in difficult situations one can cry, be offended or angry, instead of experiencing curiosity, respect, gratitude, and listening to one’s desires.

Why is this happening?

As a rule, the reasons for this treatment of feelings are rooted in early childhood and features of education. Parents may not pay attention to the experiences of the child, do not ask him what he feels now and what he wants in some difficult situation for him. In the vocabulary of parents, there may not be a definition for such experiences as pain, tenderness, interest, disgust, regret. Thus, a person grows up with limited ways of emotionally responding to the environment.

There are also various installations that prevent us from properly dealing with our feelings. For example, that the best way to cope with difficulties is “not to take them to heart”, “pull yourself together”, not “upset your loved ones with your experiences”, “do not show your enemies” that you feel bad. It is also a shame to demonstrate to others their "hysteria" and "weak character". This is especially expressed in the attitude that "men do not cry."

What is fraught with such handling of feelings?

Firstly, various psychosomatic diseases, which were mentioned above.

Secondly, when emotions are not recognized or suppressed, they can break through at a certain moment in the form of outbursts of irritation and conflict behavior with others. At the same time, paradoxically, an excessive desire to control one's feelings leads to the manifestation of unmotivated aggression, or, in case of their suppression, to prolonged depressive states and apathy.

How to properly deal with your feelings?

First of all it is worth increase sensitivity to your inner state and perception of the surrounding reality - starting with such definitions as "comfortable-uncomfortable", "like-dislike", moving on and giving a more precise definition of their experiences. In a situation where a person experiences one strong emotion, try to notice in its background others that are not so pronounced. The truth is that, as a rule, we experience not one feeling at the same time, but a “cocktail” of different ones, without always noticing it. It is quite normal to feel anger and respect for your opponent, to feel fear and curiosity in a certain situation, as well as tenderness, embarrassment and anxiety in a situation of intimacy.

Sometimes important understand the need behind our experiences. It is possible that when we openly express our anger, we want to be noticed and appreciated more, we talk about our fear - expressing an interest in acceptance. If we understand our needs in a particular situation, we can direct your energy towards achieving it. Our emotions at the same time will give us strength to achieve what we want.

The most appropriate way to deal with your feelings is to legalization, i.e. recognition, acceptance and experience. The process of experiencing is a feeling of fullness of perception and the replacement of some feelings by others. At the same time, a person does not “get stuck” in any one emotion, but allows himself to experience all their diversity - from pain and disgust, to joy, love and pleasure. The emotions expressed by him become adequate to his internal state and the current situation. Due to the fact that a person is able to experience a wide range of experiences, he is able to “digest” his difficulties with considerable ease, cope with failures, maintain stability while living a full life.

The development of sensitivity and the maintenance of the process of experiencing is the main goal of personal therapy. A by-product of this process is spontaneity, vitality, vital energy of a person and its realization in all spheres.

People are emotional. Everyone reacts in a certain way to certain events in life. This mental process occurs constantly and is inextricably linked with human activity: with the satisfaction of simple life needs, with study, work, creativity. It is even impossible to imagine that a person eats without any emotions, on the contrary, he will choose the dish that will not only help satisfy his hunger, but also cause certain positive feelings. A person experiences many emotions when communicating with loved and unloved people. According to some psychologists, this process is an important motivating force that determines the activities of each person from the moment of his birth. In other words, emotions strongly influence the conscious regulation of human behavior, moreover, they can not only weaken, but also strengthen the will. The working capacity of a person and, in general, his desire to work depends on them. Thus, no matter what a person does, thinks or says - all this is connected with emotions, because they are a reflection of a person's experiences of all phenomena and situations of the inner and outer world.

The emotional world of a person is diverse. Both positive and negative emotions have a great variety of shades. Some events cause disgust in a person, others admiration. Feelings, moods and emotions make a person's life rich and vibrant, give it color, relieve dullness and despondency. They can radically change a person's behavior in just a few seconds, change his attitude towards himself and other people. Depending on the emotions that a person experiences, he sees everything in a black light or looks at the world through rose-colored glasses.

But not always in life events cause exclusively positive emotions. Sometimes they are so terrible that it seems that it would be better if there were none at all. So, for example, the bitterness of the loss of a loved one or a pet is unbearable, just like anger and irritation when something in life does not work out or it is not possible to carry out the plan. And sometimes it also happens that no external negative factors are needed for a person to feel simply disgusting. When a person is in a bad mood, he is not able to concentrate, everything annoys him, and even one little thing can cause an outburst of anger. At the same time, it should be noted that if a person can cope with a bad mood or irritation on his own by a simple effort of will, then sometimes there are such emotional states that one cannot figure it out without a specialist. For example, severe stress can cause mental disorders and depression. In the same way, a person is not able to overcome the state of affect, in which conscious control of activity is very weakened or practically absent.

Emotions are subjective, that is, different people may react differently to the same event. So, for example, at the sight of a spider, one person will feel disgust and fear, and the other will feel tenderness. Some people react to the rain with joy and fun, while others, on the contrary, with irritation and sadness. Throughout the day, a person can experience a wide variety of mental states: joy, surprise, interest, anger, irritation, delight, tenderness, anger, sadness. Moreover, emotions also arise when a person does nothing, but simply thinks about something.

Some people are convinced that their life would be much better and easier without emotions. After all, then there would be no need to pay for rash decisions, not to be afraid of stress and strong feelings. Then it would be possible to always act judiciously, make correct, balanced decisions. Then there would be no misfortune and grief, vain experiences and empty worries. This life is just a dream. But on the other hand, if there were no emotions, a person would lose a lot, because they perform a large number of very important functions. Thanks to them, a person can adapt to the conditions of the surrounding world. This is the evaluation function, which acts as an indicator for determining the comfort zone. Simply put, if a person experiences positive emotions, then he is in a comfort zone and everything is fine. If his thoughts disturb the balance, then the person has left the comfort zone. If a person listens to his feelings, he will be able to quickly change his attitude and actions to the situation in order to again find himself in the comfort zone. This is very important, because every time a person feels negative, his psyche is shaken, energy is depleted, which causes stress, depression and apathy.

Emotions also perform a protective function, which affects the physiological level in critical situations. So, for example, fear leads to the activation of the release of adrenaline, and a person is able to deliver an unexpected blow in case of a threat. Anxiety on an emotional level makes a person be more vigilant and careful, reconsider their actions. Thus, emotions can activate, mobilize the body to perform certain actions, providing an optimal level of arousal.

The motivating function helps a person to do what he did not dare to do. For example, anger caused by critical remarks can make a person prove that he can do much more. Or a person watched a movie in which the hero succeeds, and he is inspired and does what he has long dreamed of, but doubted.

If all these functions are of an adaptive biological nature, then the most important and useful for a person are the expressive and communicative functions, which are closely related to each other. Their importance lies in the fact that in addition to physical and biochemical changes, emotions are accompanied by certain behavioral reactions, which include vocal expressions of emotions, facial expressions and pantomime. Communicative and expressive functions, due to their external manifestations, help to distinguish even minimal changes in the internal state, which helps people to better understand each other.

These functions are especially important in interpersonal communication, when it is necessary to tune in to the state of the partner, to feel the same as him. It is no secret to anyone that emotional and expressive movements are non-verbal means of communication that convey up to 90 percent of information during communication. Thus, we can say that emotions are a special language with which people speak to each other about their thoughts, feelings, internal states.

Another important feature of emotions is their connection with memory, perception, attention, thinking, imagination, that is, with cognitive processes. Emotions are the main factor in involuntary attention and memorization. When the learning process causes positive feelings, the information is remembered much faster.

Each psychologist tries to create his own classification of emotions. But they really are like a palette of colors, in which there are several primary colors and many shades, but they are all individual. However, there are emotions that all experts identify as the main ones. These are fear, irritation, anger, shame, interest, surprise, admiration, joy.

Fear is a negative emotion that can develop into a feeling. It has a protective function and occurs in those cases that carry a possible physical threat or severe mental shock.

Irritation is also a negative emotion, which is essentially an indicator that something or someone is taking a person out of their comfort zone and either the situation needs to be changed or communication with the person needs to be stopped. If this emotion is not heeded, it can turn into anger.

Anger shows that the person has gone very far outside the comfort zone and that something is happening that threatens the person's needs. In addition, this emotion is an indicator that a person has a false belief in relation to someone or something that prevents him from objectively assessing the situation.

Another negative emotion is shame. She has a large palette of shades. It is generally accepted that shame is needed so that a person can determine the discrepancy between his own actions and the established norms and rules of society.

Among positive emotions, a motivating function is performed by interest, which stimulates a person to learn, learn, develop skills and abilities. As a rule, it is accompanied by openness to new things and curiosity.

Another positive emotion with a motivating and evaluative function is admiration. She says that everything is done in full accordance with internal beliefs, views and worldview.

Joy is also a positive emotion that indicates that a person is in a comfort zone. It performs a motivating function, promotes good deeds, creativity. In addition, it stimulates the production of endorphins, which have a beneficial effect on physical condition.

Surprise does not have a pronounced pole character. It helps to focus on a person, object, thought, makes you rethink, reconsider something.

Thus, emotions open up a special world for a person - the world of art and creativity. Every creative process needs inspiration. Very often, a person's feelings become the material for creativity: a new image is born from the fusion of emotions and imagination. Without emotions, a person would not be able to appreciate the beauty and originality of music, poetry and painting. Emotions make the world of people more interesting and rich, setting the direction of personal development.

Thus, only in the unity of the emotional and intellectual spheres can a person achieve the ultimate goal of his activity - to satisfy needs. And even though emotions very often take over at the most inopportune moments, bringing misfortune and grief, they at the same time give life a real taste, making it more saturated, colorful and bright. And even though the cause of many diseases and troubles lies in excessive sensitivity and emotionality, and a person cannot make the right, adequate decision, nevertheless, without emotions, a person would lose a lot. A world without love, admiration, joy would look sad. And, for sure, life without rash, impulsive actions would become boring, because it is they who sometimes make life very interesting.

Emotions and feelings- What are they needed for? And really, why? Sometimes it seems that it is better not to feel anything, and not to know, so that the soul would not be significantly hurt. Namely, many people seek to get rid of them, deleting forever from their lives.

It is worth talking separately about feelings and emotions. First you need to understand where they come from. They are born in us when we have a new human need. This is called, which encourages the brain to desire something, as much as it can.

Feelings are the brightest flashes that our brain produces, contributing to the progress towards the desired.

Emotions are biological dependence that a person experiences throughout life. Emotions and feelings differ from each other in that, on the one hand, they are responsible for biological processes, and on the other, with aesthetic and social ones. For example, if you are hungry and you see food, then you have emotions, and when you lose a loved one, you experience feelings.

If you understand, then emotions and feelings are equally important for the human body, because they move our life forward, allowing us to experience new sensations. Also, it is worth noting that emotions are generated by our brain, and feelings are generated by the heart. You should not fight with your own, because it can completely paralyze all the sensitivity that a person needs for later life. And, in truth, it is useless to resist feelings and emotions, because of their inevitability.

The biological community has four main types of emotions:, joy, sadness and . But it is possible to manage emotions, and in some moments it is even necessary so as not to transfer them to others. You can fight emotions such as fear and anger that can interfere with a person's normal life. You can learn to manage emotions not immediately, but over the years, honing it and improving it.

Along with positive, there are negative emotions that in some cases spoil a vibrant life. But, we are not to blame for the appearance of some feelings and emotions - we get it on an unconscious level. Not always a person can cope with the feelings that arise in our souls. Emotions, in turn, originate in our voluminous and full of secrets brain.

Emotions and feelings are a fairly large engine of scientific progress, because a huge number of discoveries were made during a period of emotional and sensitive changes in a person.

Emotions and feelings - why are they needed?

First of all, they are needed so that a person would be a person, feel and feel not only the inner world, but also the outer one.

We are most likely here and come for this - to FEEL life. It turns out to live is to feel. Not to exist simply as a physical substance, as a biomass, but to know the joy of life. I mean joy as the joy of sensations, the joy of knowing oneself, one’s body, one’s
opportunities, awareness. By the way, this is probably where the meaning of the phrase “live like children” lies - children get to know themselves, their body, their capabilities, their world with interest and joy of knowledge. And it is easier for them to live, for some time, until adults block this interest from them. And they block it by forcing them to act
so accepted as "PLEASED". And we learn to control our feelings. I remember when I was little, I was very fond of sledding with acceleration, falling on them with my stomach. That's how you accelerate, fall on the sled and fly! Great! I could ride like this for hours! The joy of speed, freedom! And my mother told me for some reason (I still don’t know why?!) that you shouldn’t ride like that. I had to contain my joy. But there was another feeling. This feeling is unpleasant. But I can't tell my mom. You can't be an unhappy mom! I learned this while still being an embryo.))) Then there were many such situations! Both in childhood and in adulthood. You can’t be offended and angry at mom and dad, grandmother, teacher, teacher, neighbor, girlfriend (this is not decent at all!). You can’t laugh out loud, rejoice loudly, you can’t fall into hysterics, you can’t cry, you can’t say what you think, men can’t do anything at all (they’re not women!). You have to be a good, decent, decent girl, girl, woman, wife, mother, employee. This is how I live, not showing my feelings, even positive or negative. Squeezed, hushed feelings, unlived, unknown to the end sit in me. And they accumulate, accumulate, accumulate ... I have such an image - a pressure cooker pan.
Feelings boil, boil, and are about to fly out. But the pressure cooker is tightly closed! There is only a small valve. I often use my loved ones as a valve. I drain some of them, lower the pressure. My husband is so-and-so, I'm not lucky! Children are not obedient and ungrateful! Still great to merge it on the state,
for the country, for life in general. These are not true feelings, they are just foam from their boiling. The true feeling was never lived! We smeared each other with this dirty foam and we live on. And feelings are piling up. And they accumulate. And we say: “That's it! I'm fed up with this kind of life!" Indeed, all this has accumulated
throat with an unspoken scream and blocked the throat chakra! As you know, the throat chakra is the chakra of creativity. And the creativity of life does not go!!! Sit in whatever meditation, whatever you do! Doesn't go! Desires are not fulfilled, the song is not sung! Blocked the flow of energy!

I literally 3 or 4 weeks ago was sure that everything fell into place for me. I was in such an even state of mind that others noticed it and rejoiced for me! But it was the calm before the storm!
Some events have happened, no matter what, it is important that they have done their verification work. These events brought me out of this complacent state! They made me plunge into myself again, boldly see my dark side, the so-called dark side. Your resentment, anger, dependence, fear. A year ago Master
he advised me to go into the forest and howl at the moon. Didn't go. Due to the fact that I did not express, did not express my feelings, they continued to act on me and act! I can’t catch a crocodile, a coconut doesn’t grow, because my mother told me that I can’t do anything, that other parents were lucky with
talented children, but she doesn’t, that I’m a lazy person, etc. How can I start doing something if inside “There is no point in starting, it still won’t work!” I had to take urgent action now. I decided to write a letter to my mother and express my grievances and complaints. Well, she almost expressed it ... The controller was sitting inside and repeating: “You
crazy! Your mother is a wonderful kind person, what do you accuse her of?!! Yes, and you are an advanced esoteric, you know, this is your contract with her! It turned out only to slightly open the lid of the pressure cooker. Had a dream at night. I sometimes have dreams in which I commit a crime, a criminal one. And then I try
cover your tracks. Imagine that it doesn't matter at all. In the morning after such a dream, the state is unpleasant. The brain takes the dream literally, it seems to me that I must really be such a hidden criminal! But my friend (the Universe is abundant!) attended a seminar on dreams and told me how to understand these nightmares. I
took advantage of this practice. And please: the dream tells me that I must act, express myself, otherwise, under the pressure of accumulated unlived feelings, I begin to act impulsively, which leads to great trouble. The angels are already screaming to me! This morning I felt - everything, it's time! Procrastination is like death! Another friend, I remember, advised me to peel off a stool with a wet towel. I regretted the stool, I'll break it. I took the belt and thrashed the sofa! Thank you, sofa, took the hit!
First there was sobbing and self-pity, then anger at the whole world and again sobs. Then dry anger. And then some new feeling appeared ... It seems even the pleasure of what I do ...

Now that I have opened this abscess, I can admit to myself - I quietly hated my mother. Outwardly, everything was decent. A decent family, a wonderful wife and mother, good, well-groomed children. But inside….

Love has 4 components - allowing, forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude. I love myself - that means I allow myself to be everyone, to live all the feelings. It is to live to the end. And don't hide. And I let others do it.

I forgive myself for these feelings and I forgive others. But I do it effortlessly, not from a position “from above” - I am a spiritual person, and therefore I forgive. I forgive, that is, I make it simple, simpler. This is JUST life and it does not happen without feelings.

I accept myself, my feelings and I accept others and their feelings. I take it honestly. I trust myself and the world.

I thank myself for living these feelings and thank others for honestly living their feelings. Thank you for accepting me and trusting me, for the opportunity to trust!

And when these four components are there, when you go through these four steps, then here is the STREAM! Love flows through you, warming you, filling you with the power of the Spirit, Faith in yourself, inspiring you, filling your wings with the air of freedom.

Live = feel. We live and feel! We love, we rejoice, we are angry, we are sad, we rejoice again! LIVE!