Is it true that Tajiks use Russian women? Interethnic marriages: the story of the Tajik Stirlitz and the Russian woman
Residents of most large cities meet every day with Tajiks who work in our country at various construction sites, in minibuses, markets and other places. However, few people know how these people live in their homeland in Tajikistan. This post will tell you about the life of Tajiks in their native lands.
Here it is worth clarifying that this happened in October 2014, when the ruble was already falling in price, but not so rapidly.
We were completely running out of water supplies. The Pyanj River rustled and seethed nearby, but its waters were too muddy. Moreover, they told us that it was better not to approach the river - after all, the border with Afghanistan.
In a small village, we stopped at an inconspicuous and only store in the hope of finding at least some water for sale. But the store sold all the wrong things - carpets, mattresses and kurpachas. Still on sale washing powder And toothpaste, but there was no water. Behind the counter stood shyly, lowering her black eyes, a girl of about thirteen who spoke Russian very poorly.
We had a dialogue like this:
- Where can you buy drinking water in your village?
“Water is possible, a stream,” and the girl pointed with her hand somewhere to the northeast.
Quite logical. Water is not sold because there are mountain streams. Why didn’t we guess right away?
- Do you have a canteen or cafe where you can eat?
- Should I eat? Can! Dad will come and eat!
The girl confidently led me through the gate into the yard. She walked and looked around all the time, smiled shyly and seemed to be afraid that I would stop following. We passed some vegetable gardens, a field with potatoes, a large parking lot with a ditch and an old UAZ under a tree. At the end of a large area, which was larger in size than a standard football field, there was a white one-story house.
The girl entered the house and called the father of the family, Davladbek Bayrambekov. Davladbek spoke Russian well, so our conversation began traditionally:
- Where are you from, Moscow, what area? I went to Red Square, I remember it was cold.
It is worth noting here that all the adult Tajik men with whom we communicated anywhere have all been to Moscow at least once and all have worked somewhere. Absolutely everything! The statistics are one hundred percent. That is, they were our guests, even though we are not famous for hospitality. But they don’t have us.
We met, began to talk about our journey, and that we were looking for water in a store in the village. Davladbek laughed, invited us into the house for tea and explained that we no longer needed to travel that day, because his wife was already preparing lunch, and after lunch the weather would turn bad and it would rain. And that sleeping in tents in the rain is a dubious pleasure.
We, of course, agreed to tea, but politely refused to stay overnight, citing the severe delay in the travel schedule.
After our trip, I can responsibly declare that Tajiks are very hospitable people. In Russia they are completely different from at home. In Moscow, these quiet and sometimes downtrodden guys behave calmer than water, below the grass, but at home everything is different - a guest is always a great joy for them. Any home owner considers it his duty to welcome and treat a guest deliciously.
Each house has a large room called “Mekhmonkhona”, designed specifically for receiving guests. It is also noted here family holidays and weddings.
A tablecloth called “dostarkhan” is laid on the floor. Big role tea plays at feasts. The youngest man pours it. They drink, as is customary, from a bowl, which should only be taken right hand, and keep the left one on the right side of the chest.
An interesting fact is that the person who pours the first bowl of any drink pours it not for someone else, but for himself. All this is just a custom so that others can be convinced that there is no poison in the drink. In normal everyday life The eldest of the family takes the food first, but when there is a guest in the house, this honor is given to the guest.
Tajiks sit on the floor covered with beautiful carpets and mattresses stuffed with cotton wool or cotton, called kurpacha. According to their rules, you cannot sit with your legs stretched forward or to the side. Lying down is also indecent.
Portrait of young Davladbek during his service in the Soviet army.
The main unit that forms a person is the family. Tajik families are large, with an average of five to six or more people. Children are taught unquestioning obedience and respect for elders and parents.
In rural areas, girls do not complete more than eight grades. After all, according to tradition, there is no need for a woman to be educated at all. Her purpose is to be a wife and mother. For Tajik girls it is very scary and shameful to be an “overstayer”. Not getting married on time is worse than your worst nightmare.
Only women do housework. It is shameful for a man to do such work. According to established tradition, for the first six months a young wife cannot leave her husband’s house and cannot visit her parents.
Over tea we started talking. Davladbek said that Tajiks love Russians, and Russians treat them well. Then we asked about work. It turns out that in the mountain villages of Tajikistan there is no work for money at all. Well, except for doctors and teachers, although their salaries are ridiculous. Every doctor and teacher has his own garden and keeps livestock to feed his family - there is no other way. In order to somehow survive, all adult men go to work on the “mainland.”
So we smoothly moved on to the topic of the mechanism for delivering guest workers to Russia. After all, the entire male population of a sunny country cannot just go and come to work with us when they don’t even have money for a ticket...
Davladbek told us about the “companies”. Representatives of large “companies” (which we did not understand exactly) regularly come to all villages, even the most distant ones, and recruit representatives various professions to work in Russia. Each candidate signs a contract. Then these same “companies” send Tajiks to Russia for their money and get them jobs. But at the same time, for the first month, each guest worker does not receive any money - he gives his entire salary to that same “company” for his transportation to Russia.
Salary for last month Tajiks spend their work on a ticket home to their family. Because of this, it turns out that it makes no sense to go for less than a year.
Davladbek is a professional welder. He officially works at a construction site in Yekaterinburg, has everything necessary documents, registration, permits and certificates. In 2014, his salary was 25,000 rubles, of which about 19,000 went for housing, food and travel. Davladbek sent about $200 monthly to his family in Tajikistan, and this was enough for his family to buy everything they needed that they couldn’t produce on their own in the village.
After enjoying tea and treats, we were about to move on, but Davladbek suggested we go to the water mill, which he built himself. We became interested, and we went somewhere up a mountain stream.
The metal structure in the photo is part of a ditch that encircles the hills and runs through the villages downstream of the Pyanj. A fragment of a huge irrigation system, built during the Soviet Union and operating to this day. Excess water from the ditch system is discharged into mountain streams using manual metal gates.
And here is the mill. She may not be as beautiful as we imagined, but she is a real museum technologies. The design of the mill is the same as it was a thousand years ago!
Water from a mountain stream flows into the mill through turbine conduits and a wooden channel.
The water transfers hydraulic energy to the water wheel and spins it. In this way, a large round stone is untwisted, into the center of which grain is fed through a mechanical separator. The grain falls under the stone and is ground, and the centrifugal force pushes the finished product - flour - to the consumer.
Residents from neighboring villages. They bring their grain and also make flour from which they then bake bread. Davladbek does not take money for this. Residents themselves, as they see fit, leave a small amount of flour in gratitude. The door to the mill is always open.
Here it is, an ingenious hydraulic structure of the 21st century!
Davladbek turned out to be right. Heavy, gray clouds hung from the gorge, and soon we were driven away by the growing rain. The fog descended almost to the village itself, it became dank and chilly. The thought of spending the night in a tent triggered a chain reaction of pimply goosebumps throughout my body.
- Don't wait, go through the house. “Wife, dinner is ready,” Davladbek said, “Sleep at home tonight.” Get some sleep. Tomorrow morning with sunshine, you'll go well.
Davladbek was right once again. We stayed overnight. I would like to say a huge thank you to Davladbek and his entire family for sheltering us! In the morning it froze thoroughly, and until the sun rose, it was completely chilly. I was able to feel this well by running in a T-shirt to the toilet, which was located in the far corner of a huge area.
We had breakfast. Davladbek's children said goodbye to us and ran away to school. The school was in a neighboring village.
Upstream the river, fifteen kilometers from Ishkoshim, there were ruins old fortress times of the 3rd century. Until recently, there was a border unit in the ruins of the old fortress.
On the left, behind a narrow river gorge, Afghan houses and fields can be seen.
Outwardly, the life of the Afghans is no different from the Tajik side. Except there are no paved roads. Previously, these lands belonged to one people.
You should not assume that all Tajiks live like the heroes of our report. We lived in a Pamiri house, a hundred meters from the border, far from large cities. IN modern world residents of Tajikistan began to build their lives in the image of the West. However, there are still many families who value their traditions.
I recently called Davladbek and wished him a Happy New Year. He asked how his health and family were, when he was going to visit us again in Russia in Yekaterinburg. I thought of visiting him there, bringing photographs from the Pamirs, seeing how he lives here in Russia, and comparing. Davladbek said that now a visa to Russia has become even more expensive, and work has become cheaper, and so far he cannot say when he will come again. But he promised that he would definitely return)
Tajiks do not come to us because of a good life. It seems to me that no Pamiri would ever trade his mountains for dusty Moscow. When they go to work, they don’t see their relatives or their children for months and sometimes years.
Now I often pay attention to Tajiks in Moscow. I immediately remember Davladbek, his home, his family, his hospitality and his mill. I talk to my janitors and vendors in the tent. At first they look away in disbelief, because they are used to the fact that only the police pay attention to them, but then they are very happy when they find out that I visited their homeland, that I really liked it there. And then it’s my turn to ask:
- Where are you from, what area?
News from Russia
01.09.2016"During these four years I have turned gray"
Lena is 15, Sasha is 14, Mile is 11, Aziz is 4.
Tajik families are filled with children. There are as many of them as God gives. God gave Sadiridin Ermatov (everyone calls him Sabir) four. True, the two eldest are not relatives, but adopted ones. These are the children of his Russian wife Marina. So Sabir became the father of many children.
Marina died in childbirth when she gave birth to the youngest - their common son Aziz.
For the sake of having his stepchildren with him, Sabir gave everything.
Five-story building without an elevator. The apartment is at the very top. I climb the stairs and think: how many kilometers of steps did Sabir measure out, going up and down with baby strollers an infinite number of times?
He was born in Tajikistan, in the city of Tursunzade, in big family. He has five brothers and sisters. Then, in Soviet times, which he remembers with nostalgia, their home was full bowl: “My parents kept cows, rams, geese, chickens - everything except piglets. Religion doesn’t allow it. My father is a mullah. A holy man!”
In ninety he was drafted into the army. Served in the Far Eastern Military District. In ninety-two, Sabir mobilized, but didn’t even get home: there was a war going on there.
People were running in all directions. And Sabir also ran. First to Uzbekistan, then to Turkmenistan. His agronomist diploma was no longer needed in his homeland. And then he boarded the train on which thousands of his compatriots were traveling to Russia. Sabir got off in Krasnogorsk.
He was never without work - he worked at a construction site and renovated apartments. I worked hard without days off. Every month I sent money to my relatives. We need to support the family - that's the way it is.
He met Marina by chance. That day he was taken to the police station - a routine incident for a migrant worker with a non-Slavic appearance. An hour later they released me: the documents were in perfect order.
Sabir was walking along Mira Avenue in the evening and saw a fair-haired girl who smiled back at him. He did not yet know that this meeting would change his entire destiny.
He spoke, she answered. They exchanged phone numbers and began dating. She is 26, he is 28. Marina was married, but family life did not work out. The husband drank and did not show up at home.
Sabir left for Tajikistan for a while. When he returned, Marina gave birth to Lena. And soon she admitted that she was expecting another child. Not from Sabir.
The biological father of Sasha and Lena will give them his last name and disappear from the life of the family forever. Sabir will meet Marina from the maternity hospital. He will pick up a bundle tied with ribbons. From birth, children will call Sabir dad.
Marina lived on the Lenin state farm, just outside the district. When Sabir first came to her home, he was speechless: he had never seen such devastation. Torn wallpaper, cracked frames, broken doors. For two rooms there are three families: Marina with her children, her parents, her brother and her partner. Of course, they didn’t pay for utilities. The debt was cosmic - 204 thousand rubles. They lived poorly, but cheerfully: alcohol was of no use.
In 2004, Sabir married Marina, and two years later they had a common daughter, Milya. 
He still worked at construction sites: he had to support a large family. When the opportunity arose, I made repairs, changing everything that was possible. I hung new wallpaper, installed double-glazed windows, and insulated the balcony. The “killed” apartment began to shine.
In small villages, life is visible. Everyone here knows each other. The neighbors, who at first greeted Sabir warily, now repeated: “Marina is lucky, what a husband she found! He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, he’s all in the house!”
We all fell in love with him,” Nadezhda Petrovna, whom Sabir’s children call Baba Nadya, tells me. - Modest, neat, polite, greets everyone, treats everyone with respect. Something needs to be fixed, someone needs to be taken to the city - everything needs to go to him. Doesn't refuse anyone. When Marina's parents died one after another, he buried them properly. He still goes to the cemetery, looks after the grave, paints the fence...
We've never had anything like this before! - another neighbor at the entrance, Natalya Nikolaevna, echoes her. - What else can you say about him? He comes home from work and always goes for a walk with the children. They adore him.
...In 2012, Marina became pregnant again. When Sabir found out that they would have a fourth child, he was confused: essentially, there was nowhere to live, little money, and his job was temporary. But since Allah gave, his father taught him, he must be grateful and accept the child with joy.
“God gave, God took,” they say in Russia. Sabir doesn’t know what happened there, in the maternity hospital; no one really explained anything to him. They only said that the birth was very difficult, Marina’s blood pressure was off the charts. Aziz was born ahead of schedule, seven months old.
My wife died in the evening, they told me only in the morning,” Sabir looks away. - At nine o’clock, representatives of the administration already came to the apartment: “You are nobody here! The children are not yours, they have a different last name. You have no citizenship, no registration. We are taking the children!” My vision went dark. These are my children, I raised them from birth. They call me dad. How can I give them away?..
The heartbroken father rushed to the maternity hospital. He was told that his wife was in the morgue and his child was in the incubator. He has increased intracranial pressure. The boy is premature, very weak, weighing only 1600 grams. We need to take care of it.
At the maternity hospital, Sabir was immediately asked to write a refusal from the child. He said: “I just lost my wife - you want to take my child away from me?! I’m still alive.”
They told him: “You don’t have enough money to treat him.” "You name the amount - I'm ready!" - answered Sabir. “They won’t give you a birth certificate!” - “Why won’t they give it to me? My mother is a citizen of Russia, we are registered.”
From the maternity hospital, he immediately went to the registry office and received Aziz’s birth certificate. Then Sabir found out that they wanted to adopt his child. The baby, in whose veins Russian and Tajik blood were mixed, turned out to be a sight for sore eyes: soft blonde hair, Persian eyes...
Then a call at three o’clock in the morning from the maternity hospital: “Come, we called a specialist doctor for your son. We have to pay 4 thousand.” “I gave 4 and a half,” he adds after a pause.
He buried his Marina and hid his grief very deeply, to the very bottom. It was impossible to suffer and cry, it was necessary to act, because at any moment his older children could be taken away.
When Aziz was finally discharged home, he weighed only 1800 grams. So small, he fit on a tiny mattress and cried incessantly. Looking at his son, Sabir felt helpless. He has golden hands, he can do everything in the world and is not afraid of any work, but will he be able to leave this creature?
He called younger sister Bibi from Tajikistan: "Save!" And then all the neighbors, the entire entrance, rushed to help. Someone brought children's things, someone helped bathe the child, someone ironed the diapers... Ordinary Russian women came and took turns on duty, and Sabir does not remember a day when he was left alone with trouble. He understood: he can handle it!
All this time he was constantly thinking about Sasha and Lena, who could be taken away at any moment. orphanage. Sabir did not yet have Russian citizenship, only a residence permit, and he would never have been allowed to become the adoptive father of children who also had a nominal father.
Sabir found ex-husband Marina and directly suggested: “Let’s resolve the issue with the children. You don’t need them anyway!” He promised to come in a week and write a waiver of the children. He promised - and disappeared. He didn’t answer the phone and didn’t call himself. Sabir filed an application to the court, which deprived the negligent father of parental rights.
Sabir took the children to Maloyaroslavets, to the family of Olesya, Marina’s cousin, who arranged temporary guardianship. He was torn between his children - his own and his adopted ones. Every week he went to visit Sasha and Lena and returned with a heavy heart: they felt bad there.
My brother and I slept together on an air mattress on the floor,” Lena recalls. “Our things were put in the barn, and every day in the cold we ran for clothes. And our relatives separated us from their children. They all sit at the table, and they give us a plate, and we eat standing up. Once dad brought us home for the weekend, and we put five spoons of sugar in our tea. Dad asked: “Don’t they feed you there?..” And one day Aunt Olesya said to me: “Lena, there is a woman in Odessa, she has two boys, they are already adults, and she really wants a girl. Will you go there?” I call my dad in tears: “They are giving me to another family! Take us away from here!” We were kicked out the door with our things...
That same day, Sabir took his elders home. I immediately took their documents to school so that they would not miss classes.
During the three months that the children lived in Maloyaroslavets, the guardianship never took an interest in them. But as soon as I brought them home and they went to school, representatives of the department arrived. They came to pick up Sasha and Lena - everything is bubbling up with him even now. - I rushed to my neighbor Natalya Nikolaevna: “Take temporary guardianship while I get Russian citizenship!”
Registration of guardianship is not an easy process; it requires time to collect documents, examine the health of the guardian, and his living conditions. If the future guardian is not a close relative, he must also undergo training at the School of Foster Parents. This has become a mandatory requirement since the fall of 2012.
Probably not everyone would agree to take on such a burden. But Natalya Nikolaevna did not hesitate for a minute. Without further ado, I began collecting the necessary documents and enrolled in the School of Foster Parents. The closest one was in Podolsk.
Sabir abandoned all his affairs so that the children could live with him. Twice a week I took the future adoptive mother to classes in Podolsk and worked on obtaining a Russian passport.
During these four years I turned gray. They kicked me around like a soccer ball. It's scary to remember what I went through. They tortured me a little,” he adds after a pause. - As soon as I became a citizen of Russia, I immediately formalized guardianship for my older children. Marina’s parents did not pay the rent, I had to pay off the debt for utilities - 204 thousand rubles. If I had not found the money, the apartment would have been taken away and the children would have been sent to an orphanage.
He gave away all his savings in twelve years. His family doesn't owe anyone anything anymore.
Recently he took Lena and Milya to his homeland in Tajikistan. Two sisters, one fair, the other dark, daughters.
Lena shows me photographs. Here she is in national Tajik attire.
In Tajikistan we were received like family! - the girl admires. - Grandma hugged me: “My beloved, my golden one!” Showed the city and treated me to food national food. I understand the Tajik language, but I didn’t need many words to feel surrounded by my family...
Lena herself learned to cook Tajik pilaf. Almost as tasty and picturesque as dad.
Recently Aunt Bibi showed me how to bake their traditional flatbreads. “Dad doesn’t have a wife, but he should have female support,” the fifteen-year-old daughter thinks in an adult way.
While my sister cooks for everyone. I made so many preparations for the winter! - he points to the rows of jars with adjika, eggplant caviar, pickles and tomatoes. “But if Bibishka goes home, Lena will have to cook,” Sabir laughs. - And I will help her.
He is not registered in this apartment. If the apartment had been privatized, he would have inherited the share after his wife’s death. You need to know Sabir: he was embarrassed to ask Marina to register him in his parents’ crowded living space. He lived with a temporary registration, which he renewed every six months.
Now the situation has changed, but the department of guardianship and trusteeship in the Leninsky district of the Moscow region is not on the side of the father with many children. Sabir lives like a bird. Permanent registration is persistently denied to him, because formally he will infringe on the rights of his children. They ask him: “What is your intention?”
What is my intention? - Sabir smiles bitterly. - I have been living here with my children for sixteen years. Buy new apartment I can't, she's worth millions. But I need to feed my family. I'm the only one they have.
I look at Sabir. He is only forty-three. Not age for a man. It's been four years since he was widowed. All periods of mourning had long passed, and, probably, he could arrange his life.
“I thought about it,” he says honestly. - You can find a woman, but for me the most important thing is that she loves my children, and then me.
Aminjon Abdurakhimov was born in Tajikistan. On at the moment She has been studying in St. Petersburg for 4 years. He entered the Tajik presidential quota and studies in St. Petersburg at the expense of his state. She is currently finishing her 4th year and plans to continue her studies in a master’s program.
First day in Russia
We flew to St. Petersburg with the guys with whom we entered the university. We didn’t know where to go, what to do, we figured it out on our own. We quickly got our bearings.
We looked at people, and people did not pay any attention to us, as if you did not exist and no one cared about you. To some extent, this is even good, they don’t look at you askance, perceiving you as an ordinary person.
I didn’t experience culture shock, because I knew a lot about Russia; Russia was not a discovery for me.
As a result, Russia has become a second home for me: I speak Russian, I think in Russian, not forgetting my native Takjik (Persian) language.
First impressions of St. Petersburg
They were amazing. These rivers in the middle of the city, this architecture, each house are so unique, not repeated among themselves, and all this architecture and history that is in these walls, patterns on the houses... I was crazy about all of this!
About the stereotype about Tajiks who don’t know how to do anything and come to work in Russia as laborers
This is a stereotype, this is wrong. Our people can do everything. If they didn't know how to do everything, they wouldn't come here as laborers. The bottom line is that the main part of the population who comes to Russia to earn money are people who live in villages for whom there are not enough jobs in the city.
Our economy does not yet allow us to provide for all our families. And we love our family very much. IN large families They don’t abandon any of them, some of them come here and work for their family. The fact that our people value their family, no matter how difficult the situation, I am proud of it.
I try to break existing stereotypes in my social activities. Our people can do a lot, but not everyone has the opportunity to prove themselves here. They can work as some kind of managers, architects, etc. But here they are not allowed to do that.
Russian girls
If I had a Russian girlfriend, I would treat it normally. Russian and Russian. Russian girls are beautiful too.
Cultural connection with Russia
We have general history, we have a common past, I always remember this and try to remind those around me, friends, younger brothers and sisters, so that they also know about it. Our countries are very good friends with Russia.
How Russia and Russians are treated in Tajikistan
Russians are treated very well. In each of our yard there are one or two aunties, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers who are Russian. They remain from the times of the USSR. They always gave us candy or something else: we loved to play near their yard and make a little noise. There are no divisions.
I am grateful to my Russian teachers. I still communicate with them. I am grateful for my education; they told me at school that I needed to study, although I didn’t understand it then.
Back in school times Since school, the kids and I took part in one very wonderful program that was shown on television every month. It was called “Tajikistan and Russia – two halves of one soul.” It was a quiz on topics about the Second World War, the history of Russia and Tajikistan, general architecture, culture and so on and so forth that connects our countries.
We participated in this every month and were glad that we were contributing to general culture Russia and Tajikistan.
Russian cuisine in Tajikistan
We all eat borscht and dumplings. They don’t eat cabbage soup very much, it rarely happens.
In Russia, on the contrary, everyone loves pilaf, by the way.
Differences in culture and everyday life between Russia and Tajikistan
There is no big difference. Many of us also go to European clothes. The people who live in the capital and big cities, speak Russian. Russian is a second language for us, so many Tajiks know Russian, and very well. Once you find yourself in our big cities, you will be very surprised. You can easily leave the airport and start speaking Russian.
Anyone can meet you, speak Russian, answer you, show you the way. If necessary, give you a ride. If you are hungry and have nowhere to stay, they will offer you to stay with them, drink tea, and have dinner together. And only then do they let you go. We have such a cultural custom. You can try it, you won't regret it.
Why I am grateful to Russia
The first thing I am grateful to Russia and St. Petersburg for is that they gave me new opportunities for self-realization, in order to show myself. There are a lot of things here where you can express yourself, show, because this is where I was able to show my leadership qualities. Here I was able to develop my creative talents, which later helped me a lot. Well, and, of course, education.
Education in Russia
Education in Russia is slightly better than in Tajikistan. We also have good universities, but I wanted something new. The further you get from your homeland, the more you want to return.
Aminjon Abdurakhimov is very active in terms of public life, and today has considerable " track record": heads the Youth Society of Students of Tajikistan in St. Petersburg. Member of the AIS of Russia. One of the leaders of the All-Russian Interethnic Youth Union of the Russian Federation, president of the Council of Foreign Students at his university. Winner of the competition among universities " Golden autumn”, held in Ivanovo in November 2016, where it became “the best foreign student Russia." In St. Petersburg received the title “Student of the Year - 2016” in connection with active work By interethnic relations. Winner of the international competition "Multifaceted Petersburg".
Tajikistan / Society / Seven habits of Tajik wives that any man will like
To be real eastern woman It’s not enough to be born in this part of the world and have characteristic appearance; To meet this definition, a woman is required to follow strict rules of conduct.
Asia Plus partner Open Asia Online has collected some habits of Tajik women who in our region traditionally have Eastern wives.
Addresses husband as “you”
Almost all Tajik women, with rare exceptions, address their spouses as “you”, and call their husbands not by name, but “master”, “father of my children”, etc. However, in the north of Tajikistan, both men and women address everyone without exception, even their small children.
Any Tajik woman can cook well
A Tajik woman who does not know how to cook, and not just cook, but create real culinary masterpieces, is nonsense. Any Tajik woman copes well with dough and can prepare delicious pilaf. From childhood, mothers instill in their daughters a love of cooking, because if a young girl comes to her husband’s house without these skills, then shame will fall on her entire family.
By the way, Tajik women also masterfully cope with other household duties, be it ironing clothes or cleaning the house.
The bride's family buys clothes for the groom
Buying a dress for the groom wedding ceremony- This is the responsibility of the bride's family. Moreover, everything necessary for family life household belongings, including furniture, are also purchased at the expense of the bride’s parents; The groom is only required to provide housing. Therefore, often before the wedding, the girl’s relatives, inviting guests to the ceremony, order gifts for them. For example: the Iskandarov family - a carpet, the Ismoilov family - a food processor, etc.
Never stays alone with another man
Even if this man is a relative. A Tajik wife will only allow a man into the house if she is not alone. Otherwise, even brother my husband’s entry into the apartment is prohibited: “wait for the owner.” And to this day, at any event, women and men in Tajikistan traditionally sit at different dastarkhans, in different rooms. And men are responsible for serving the male dastarkhan (serving dishes on the table, clearing away dirty dishes).
After the birth of the child, he lives with the mother for 40 days
From the maternity hospital, a Tajik wife goes home to her mother, especially if her first child is born. Here she will live for exactly 40 days, during which the mother will teach her daughter all the intricacies of handling the baby; In addition, the woman’s family will purchase everything necessary for the first-born at their own expense. After such a master class, the husband will never see his wife’s helplessness in communicating with the baby, because taking care of the child is a woman’s direct responsibility.
Doesn't do anything without her husband's consent
Aminjon Abdurakhimov was born in Tajikistan. At the moment, she has been studying in St. Petersburg for 4 years. He entered the Tajik presidential quota and studies in St. Petersburg at the expense of his state. She is currently finishing her 4th year and plans to continue her studies in a master’s program. ru_open spoke about his impressions upon arrival in Russia:
First day in Russia
We flew to St. Petersburg with the guys with whom we entered the university. We didn’t know where to go, what to do, we figured it out on our own. We quickly got our bearings.
We looked at people, and people did not pay any attention to us, as if you did not exist and no one cared about you. To some extent, this is even good, they don’t look at you askance, perceiving you as an ordinary person.
I didn’t experience culture shock, because I knew a lot about Russia; Russia was not a discovery for me.
As a result, Russia has become a second home for me: I speak Russian, I think in Russian, not forgetting my native Takjik (Persian) language.
First impressions of St. Petersburg
They were amazing. These rivers in the middle of the city, this architecture, each house are so unique, not repeated among themselves, and all this architecture and history that is in these walls, patterns on the houses... I was crazy about all of this!
About the stereotype about Tajiks who don’t know how to do anything and come to work in Russia as laborers
This is a stereotype, this is wrong. Our people can do everything. If they didn't know how to do everything, they wouldn't come here as laborers. The bottom line is that the main part of the population that comes to Russia to earn money are people who live in villages for whom there are not enough jobs in the city.
Our economy does not yet allow us to provide for all our families. And we love our family very much. In large families, no one is abandoned; some of them come here and work for the sake of their family. The fact that our people value their family, no matter how difficult the situation, I am proud of it.
I try to break existing stereotypes in my social activities. Our people can do a lot, but not everyone has the opportunity to prove themselves here. They can work as some kind of managers, architects, etc. But here they are not allowed to do that.
Russian girls
If I had a Russian girlfriend, I would treat it normally. Russian and Russian. Russian girls are beautiful too.
Cultural connection with Russia
We have a common history, we have a common past, I always remember this and try to remind those around me, friends, younger brothers and sisters, so that they also know about it. Our countries are very good friends with Russia.
How Russia and Russians are treated in Tajikistan
Russians are treated very well. In each of our yard there are one or two aunties, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers who are Russian. They remain from the times of the USSR. They always gave us candy or something else: we loved to play near their yard and make a little noise. There are no divisions.
I am grateful to my Russian teachers. I still communicate with them. I am grateful for my education; they told me at school that I needed to study, although I didn’t understand it then.
Back in our school days, my school kids and I participated in one very wonderful program that was shown on television every month. It was called “Tajikistan and Russia - two halves of one soul.” It was a quiz on topics about the Second World War, the history of Russia and Tajikistan, general architecture, culture and so on and so forth that connects our countries.
We participated in this every month and were glad that we were contributing to the common culture of Russia and Tajikistan.
Russian cuisine in Tajikistan
We all eat borscht and dumplings. They don’t eat cabbage soup very much, it rarely happens.
In Russia, on the contrary, everyone loves pilaf, by the way.
Differences in culture and everyday life between Russia and Tajikistan
There is no big difference. Many of us also wear European clothes. The people who live in the capital and big cities speak Russian. Russian is a second language for us, so many Tajiks know Russian, and very well. Once you find yourself in our big cities, you will be very surprised. You can easily leave the airport and start speaking Russian.
Anyone can meet you, speak Russian, answer you, show you the way. If necessary, give you a ride. If you are hungry and have nowhere to stay, they will offer you to stay with them, drink tea, and have dinner together. And only then do they let you go. We have such a cultural custom. You can try it, you won't regret it.
Why I am grateful to Russia
The first thing I am grateful to Russia and St. Petersburg for is that they gave me new opportunities for self-realization, in order to show myself. There are a lot of things here where you can prove yourself and show off, because this is where I was able to show my leadership qualities. Here I was able to develop my creative talents, which later helped me a lot. Well, and, of course, education.
Education in Russia
Education in Russia is slightly better than in Tajikistan. We also have good universities, but I wanted something new. The further you get from your homeland, the more you want to return.
Aminjon Abdurakhimov is very active in terms of public life, and today has a considerable “track record”: he heads the Youth Society of Students of Tajikistan in St. Petersburg. Member of the AIS of Russia. One of the leaders of the All-Russian Interethnic Youth Union of the Russian Federation, president of the Council of Foreign Students at his university. Winner of the “Golden Autumn” competition among universities, held in Ivanovo in November 2016, where he became “the best foreign student in Russia.” In St. Petersburg he received the title “Student of the Year - 2016” in connection with his active work on interethnic relations. Winner of the international competition "Multifaceted Petersburg".
