For the man's betrayal. Male psychology of betrayal - reasons, how to determine and whether to forgive

Male infidelity is an eternal topic discussed by women. Why are many men drawn to adventure? Let's try to figure this out. In fact, there are many reasons why men cheat on their wives. It is better to notice the beginning of discord in time and take measures to save the situation so that it does not turn into a huge crack. So, let's look at the most common reasons why men cheat on their wives.

1. “Love has passed”

Living under the same roof for many years, spouses often become completely uninteresting to each other, like a book read many times. But they don’t want to get a divorce, because they have so many connections - children, apartment, car, dacha. And we’ve already become so accustomed to each other that it’s difficult to change anything. So a man starts an affair on the side to bring some bright colors into his life.

To avoid this situation, a woman must constantly develop, look for new interests, hobbies and remain a little bit of a mystery to a man. Have an open dialogue with your husband about your sexual preferences, and make concessions to him in this matter. Let the man never cease to be surprised and enchanted. Always be different, unpredictable, avoid stereotypes of behavior, including intimate life– it’s difficult, but the love of your spouse and your personal happiness are worth it.

2. “The green serpent led astray”

In fact, this reason is a direct consequence of the first. After all, as you know, “what a sober man has on his mind, a drunk man has on his tongue,” and, consequently, in practice. Therefore, it is those men who have long been bored with married life who cheat under the influence of alcohol, but they do not dare to “walk to the left” in their right mind and sober memory.

To eliminate this reason, you need to listen to the previous advice. And to be on the safe side, it’s always worth finding out in which company your spouse is going to “relax.” There are comrades for whom cheating and frequent changes of sexual partners are the norm. In such an environment, and even under the influence of the “green serpent,” even the most faithful man finds it difficult to resist the seductress.

In this case, it is better to talk honestly with your husband about your fears and set priorities: what is more important for your spouse - peace in the family or relaxation with dubious friends. Do not quarrel with him before this meeting under any circumstances. After all, under the influence of negativity, it will be much easier for a drunk man to cheat and justify himself.

If a wife often refuses sex to her husband, citing extreme fatigue or headache, then you can definitely expect inevitable disaster. It is better not to bring your man to such a state where he wants to get pleasure elsewhere. Don't push your man away, make reasonable concessions for him in the name of saving your marriage.

5. A woman’s emotional dependence on her husband

Emotional dependence on a man arises from a woman’s lack of self-confidence. This manifests itself in a woman’s behavior as follows:

• she needs her husband's approval and support;
• mood depends on his behavior;
• allows a man to humiliate his dignity;
• constantly pleases a man;
• fully concentrates on the man and his life;
• afraid to express her opinion so that the man does not leave her;
• does not have his own hobbies, his own life.

Men don't like clingy women; these are the types of wives that get cheated on all the time. This is a kind of male protection against female leeches. Lack of independence blocks all female attractiveness and kills male attraction to a woman. To improve the situation, a woman needs to develop her self-sufficiency.

This is not an easy matter, because the reason can stretch from childhood, from the parental family. If mom behaved In a similar way with dad, then the daughter will adopt her model of behavior. And here it is difficult to do without the qualified help of a psychologist. But as they say, “the one who walks masters the road.”

For a woman, the first step towards solving this problem is to accept herself as she is, with all her weaknesses and shortcomings. And then it will be easier to change. Believe me, men do not cheat on self-sufficient and self-loving women because they are afraid of losing them!

Irina, Podolsk

Psychologist's comment:

Indeed, why do men cheat on their marriage partners? Usually this question is asked not so much by women who have experienced their husband’s infidelity once, but by those whose spouses “go to the left” with sad frequency. At the same time, if a woman somehow managed to put pressure on her husband, and he leaves his mistress, then after some time he finds himself new girlfriend, and everything repeats itself.

If we are talking specifically about this type of male infidelity, then their reason, as a rule, is closer to what the author of the letter called reason No. 5 - a woman’s emotional dependence on a man. This is what we will talk about.

Yes, sometimes it may seem that cheating happened because the love left, or because of alcohol, lack of attention, etc., but usually the real reason The betrayal is much deeper. What is it?

Cheating is a regulator of psychological distance between spouses

Yes, yes, in case of regular betrayal real reason, in my experience, adultery is designed to regulate the emotional and psychological distance between husband and wife.

Naturally, the mistress in this situation will be completely different from the wife and will not be inclined to pursue the man. Therefore, such relationships become a strong psychological outlet for him, and they can last indefinitely. If, for example, on the initiative of his wife, a man is forced to break off this connection, he soon develops new woman. As they say, a holy place is never empty.

What to do?

So, the situation and its real reasons are clear. So what should we do about it now?

As is clear from what is written above, neither husband nor wife, by and large, are not to blame for what is happening (in general, looking for someone to blame is not a good tendency and it is better not to resort to it). Just them family stories They are what they are, and it is not surprising that such a couple is together: sometimes such men and women fit each other like a key to a lock.

It turns out that the problem in the family is not in one of them or even both - the problem is how relationships are organized between spouses, when a woman tends to overwhelm her partner with hypercontrol, and a man behaves passive-aggressively.

In cases where difficulties arise precisely because of the peculiarities of the relationship between husband and wife, family psychotherapy can be very useful for such a couple. In the course of such work, spouses, together with a family psychologist, learn to better understand what is behind their behavior and change existing patterns of behavior in such a way as to try to live a little differently - to please and support each other.

What does it mean for a woman to cheat on her husband? How far can a person go in despair and confusion? It’s no secret that most of us cannot forgive a man, and relationships after betrayal become tense due to loss of trust in our partner. Experts say that a person who gets everything he needs from marriage will never take such a rash step. But then why do married men cheat? And how many people on the planet are 100% satisfied with their marriage and marriage? Is it really all about ideals that are sometimes unattainable? So, below you will learn about how to behave after your husband’s betrayal and what should be done to ensure that this never happens.

Cheating on your husband is not just empty words. Behind this lies deep disappointment and recognition of one’s mistakes. We all make them happen, and often the consequences are quite negative. Find the answer to the question: “Why and why do men cheat on women?” not so easy. Let's try to figure out what's the matter. Maybe the reason for this is male psychology? Or is the problem much deeper?

All men cheat various reasons. Some people wanted newness of feelings, some are looking for refuge from their beloved, and some don’t even think about why they need it. Most often, a man is guided by his subconscious: he tries to find on the side what he does not have in himself. ordinary life. This is completely normal, because the psychology of any person is designed in such a way that he spends his whole life looking for what is missing.

There are no accidental or sudden betrayals. The very fact of betrayal becomes real for a reason. Before that they add up special circumstances, there are a thousand reasons and a thousand plans are being considered. It’s quite difficult to just change something by chance, succumbing to an impulse. After all, having lived with a person for more than one year, even a man will think for a minute before rushing into the pool of passion. He will think about whether he will hurt his wife or mistress, whether he will harm himself with such a reckless act: he will lose a comfortable home, a wife who brings slippers in his teeth, and many other advantages family life, available only to men. By the way, he will think about the second one much faster. Alas, this is exactly what male psychology is like. They value convenience more than feelings.

So why do men cheat?

Most often, a man cheats because of problems at home. Men are very sensitive and vulnerable creatures, and also very cowardly. As soon as they sense problems approaching, they immediately prepare an alternate airfield: firstly, so that they have somewhere to escape from the sinking ship, and secondly, so as not to feel lonely. In fact, men are much more afraid of loneliness than women. That is why they prefer frequent changes of partners. Of course, this does not apply to all, but many husbands. Especially if he is a young guy who does not yet feel confident in his adult life.

In addition, the impetus for betrayal can be an overwhelming everyday life, which over time turns into a real Hell. Yes, yes, no one wants to love a woman who is always dissatisfied with his salary with curlers on her head, a cucumber mask on her face and a frying pan in her hand. Over time, men begin to perceive their wife this way - as an object of negativity and negative emotions. This is why men cheat on their loved ones. It is at such a moment that a “fairy” may appear, promising all the joys of life absolutely free and at any time of the day. True, then this savior will not be so good and wonderful. But this does not change the essence of the matter.

In fact similar situation It really hits your pride, because cheating means that you were neglected, pushed away and abandoned. A psychologist's advice to women often begins with the fact that you should not forget about yourself and your appearance. The manner of behaving, being in society and at home, dressing and looking has higher value than you can imagine. After all, whatever one may say, all relationships and marriages are built solely on sexual attraction and the attraction of partners to each other. Of course, in the process life together both a woman to a man and a man to a woman can become quite boring and cause not the most pleasant emotions. Therefore, it is necessary to periodically change something in yourself, in your home life, in communication and joint holding time. This is the only way to keep a marriage afloat. You need to attract him again and show him that you are better than others.

How can you tell if your husband is cheating on you?

Cheating on your husband, the signs of which are quite difficult to hide, is actually not a difficult thing and determining whether your husband is cheating on you is quite simple. The only question is, do you need such knowledge, and how to live after such a discovery? The main signs of betrayal may be traces of lipstick (not necessarily scarlet) on his clothes or even his face, long white hair, stuck to the jacket or even scratches on the back, as a result of a recent, but very violent joint passion with another themis. But that's exactly it visible signs. However, psychology is also important here. A person who committed such an act as treason simply will not be able to behave as before. The male mind will tell him that he has betrayed, that this threatens a break. And the spouse will try not to get noticed again, and maybe even withdraw into himself.

If your husband’s infidelity has been confirmed, only your intuition and heart will tell you what to do and what to do correctly. After all, there can be a thousand reasons why a man cheats. And it’s worth thinking, not for his sake, but for your own sake, what have you done to preserve and prosper this union? What could they have done, but didn’t do? What action or quarrel of yours could lead to betrayal? By asking yourself such questions, you will definitely find a fairly impressive number of answers that may save your marriage.

What to do after you find out about your husband's infidelity?

How to survive shame and disappointment? First of all, don't be afraid! At least don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself. Don't hide, don't be cowardly, and don't lie to yourself. First of all, answer yourself the question: “Why did this happen?” And after that, start serious showdowns. Feel free to give in short term depression. Be sad and cry, admit to yourself that you really hurt. You are depressed and offended, you want to lie like a log on the sofa and absolutely pointlessly switch TV channels, but there is only one question in your head, why do men cheat and offend women like that? Think, and after that, get up and pull yourself together. Life does not stop after your husband’s betrayal; on the contrary, it can prepare many pleasant surprises for you.

Our complexes and fears

While betrayal brought the man temporary rest, relaxation and many pleasant moments, his wife receives a portion of selective negativity and reasons to feel complex. Of course, this is a very bad and unexpected event in the life of every woman. It will be difficult for many to figure out what to do when their husband’s infidelity is revealed. How to survive betrayal? To answer this question, remember five basic “Don’ts” that are best not to do under any circumstances:

1. DO NOT compare yourself and your rival

   A woman begins to compare herself with her rival and always finds a hundred reasons to consider her better than herself: younger, slimmer, smarter, faster, more depraved. Yes, she may have many advantages, but he once married you, and the fact that he fell out of love or simply decided to frolic does not reduce your importance and dignity.

2. DO NOT look for excuses for your unlucky spouse and ways to blame yourself for everything.

   But you shouldn’t do this, because someone who has found an excuse and a reason to change once is unlikely to have a little love for you personally. If at least once you justify it to him, then the question of why men cheat will become your eternal reason for depression.

3. DO NOT dream of taking revenge on him

   Even if you do not cheat out of revenge, but simply to spite the cheater, you make a dizzying career or discover a talent in yourself and completely devote yourself to working on it, this will not improve the situation, but will only worsen the relationship.

4. You should NOT share your problems with everyone you meet.
5. There is no need to go all out

   Casual relationships, alcohol and dubious acquaintances will not only not bring the desired satisfaction and revenge, but will also attract even more troubles into your life. Also, you shouldn’t sign up for all the clubs and all the courses, from macrame weaving to courses foreign languages. Too much desire pretending that everything is fine with you will only drag you further into the quagmire of depression and despair. Such is female psychology. The more you hide from problems, the faster they torment you. It's like quicksand. Sometimes it's better to freeze a short time and let chance tell you which direction is best to move.

Cheating on husband during pregnancy

Cheating on a husband, when a new addition to the family is expected soon, generally constitutes a special category of betrayal. It would seem that everything should be fine, but then why do men cheat? Why, even at such a touching moment in life as pregnancy and the birth of a baby, do they manage to ruin the lives of themselves and their other half, shortening her years of life? IN in this case The reasons may be either the lack of usual sex life or the man’s desire to show the woman that the expected baby is not only child in the house, and that he is a husband, also requires attention and care.

In this case, all that remains is to be patient and seek compromise and mutual understanding. They say that a woman becomes a mother the moment she finds out she is pregnant, and a man becomes a father only when he holds his child in his arms. Therefore, it is not surprising that you may encounter misunderstanding and even some resentment on his part. Try to convey to him that no one can take his place in your life. It’s just that now there will be room in it for a child. And you have enough love for everyone.

During pregnancy, do not forget about your own sexuality, because you are a woman and can be attractive even when you are pregnant. Take care of yourself and do not lose contact with your man - touch each other as often as possible, feel each other’s presence in life, as well as the imminent appearance of your continuation with him. It often happens that a pregnant wife becomes even more desirable and sexy for a man. This is the psychology of perception and everything depends on the character of the man. But to be attractive, you need to devote time and attention to yourself.

If you dream about your husband cheating

Now let’s touch on a topic that is especially important for impressionable and suspicious women. What does cheating on your husband mean in a dream? After reading the interpretation of your husband’s infidelity in dream books, you can come across thousands of different answers. But not everyone believes in this. Therefore, let's see what psychology will tell us, namely one of the authoritative doctors of human souls - Freud.

So, as Sigmund Freud explains to us, if you see yourself as a traitor in a dream, then this means an unfulfilled sexual energy and strong temperament. In life, this does not mean that you want to change your partner. To dream of someone cheating on you means that you are simply complacent about your lack of sexuality or are trying in every possible way to hide it.

As you can see, all problems can be solved. But do all men cheat? Does their psychology and nature really not allow them to be faithful to just one? Of course, not all! Moreover, according to statistics, only 20% married men go left. The rest are exemplary husbands and fathers. The main thing to remember is that it is very important for a man to feel your support in life and to know that you love him. Therefore, do not neglect the relationship and do not leave everything to chance, then you will never experience the sorrows of betrayal.

I was prompted to take up the article by the story of a friend who lives on the floor below. She came running one day in tears: “Don’t you know a psychologist? I don’t know what to do, my husband found someone else!”

The story of one husband's betrayal

We didn’t communicate often, but thanks to panel housing construction, I got the impression that we exist in parallel. Her family life consisted of two parts: when my husband is on a business trip, but he worked on a rotational basis; and when you're at home all day long, resting from righteous labors. It was then, in the late evenings, that I heard their conversations among themselves, because during the day Tatyana, my neighbor, worked.

I really didn’t like these evenings. The dialogue began immediately in a raised voice, and then the scream was such that it was time to call the local police officer. The husband’s low bass was hard to hear; he occasionally only managed to get in a word, but Tatyana's squeal could be heard verbatim if desired.

She complained about fate, which sent her such a non-oligarch that it was simply creepy. And he lies sideways on the sofa, and you won’t get any care from him, and he’s not interested in anything except TV.

I rarely saw them together, although Oleg, Tatyana’s husband, often caught my eye with his daughter. Tall, a little shy of his height, with radiant light eyes and large, hard-working hands. It was clear that no one in the north simply paid him money.

Can you guess how this whole story ended?

Oleg almost left the family; for some time he actually lived in two houses. Returned. Because he really loved his daughter, and Tatyana understood a lot, learned to appreciate those around her. The screams stopped and my life became calmer.

Cheating on a man is not betrayal, it’s normal!

I am deeply convinced that you can only betray your homeland, friends, and parents. Treason is not the same as betrayal. For a family is not a monastery. We create it so that life together becomes better than that one that was before marriage.

We create it in order to arrange a common life, give birth and raise children, give each other warmth and mutual understanding, and provide support in the outside world. Family - rear, and if, as in the case of Oleg and Tatyana, it turns into a battle arena, is it possible to condemn a man for treason? I'm sure not. Rather, she is a blessing that allowed the family to overcome the crisis.

The same can be seen in other reasons for male infidelity:

• According to statistics, 88% of men cheat with women, more attractive in appearance(once he thought the most attractive future wife, who after a while stopped taking care of her hair, figure, manicure);
• 25% of them enter into long-term relationships lasting more than six months ( if love is no longer kept in the house, she will still come into a man’s life, but in a different place);
• 35% of men cheat due to sexual dissatisfaction(the stronger sex in active reproductive age thinks about sex almost every 5 minutes, and at home love is either on coupons or exclusively in a standard position);
• 12% husbands can't cope with long periods of separation(a woman sending her husband to work must be prepared for this situation);
• 10% of men cheat due to overcoming self-doubt(question: who puts this uncertainty in their heads, isn’t it the wife?).

For me, betrayal is not betrayal, but the responsibility of both parties. There is, however, a small percentage of men who are prone to cheating on genetic level. They wave the slogan of polygamy like a flag. But no one prevents a woman from either avoiding such individuals or accepting their rules of the game.

A healthy man is always polygamous by nature

Candidate medical sciences, writer Natalya Tolstaya, author of the bestseller “Male Infidelity,” believes that 98% of men at least once. Her main statement: as long as a person is healthy, he is polygamous.

The only thing that can keep a man from cheating is love. Only she forces you to voluntarily remain faithful, because it does not allow you to let another person into your world.

This is chemistry, the first stage of sleep. In the most difficult moments of life, we are “saved” by thoughts about the subject of our feelings. Saving love - talent and great work two. But we don’t want to work, but for some reason we demand loyalty. Love will be replaced by addiction, and only obligations will hold a man back.

Psychologist N.I. Kozlov believes: every family needs its own code, which must stipulate all sections of the agreement, including a common understanding of the concepts of “loyalty” and “treason.” 60% of men, for example, consider a kiss to be completely harmless, while 34% of women think otherwise. Some believe that betrayal is physical intimacy on the side, others - spiritual. If a couple decides that cheating is acceptable under certain conditions, why not? Marriage is a voluntary union of adults, their choice.

I’m not calling for promiscuity: 78% of men condemn cheating. And if they do commit them anyway, then the family is seriously ill. With a correct diagnosis, recovery will begin, which means that male infidelity really helps to save a marriage.

Victoria Samarskaya

Illness and promiscuity are two different things. Stop making excuses for men! I feel the author likes to be a loser who “accepted” her husband - what women who are not ready to be left alone will not do. You need to take care of yourself! At any age, and then you can easily find a replacement for your wandering hubby who has stopped appreciating you!

But I don’t think so. I am very jealous and single-minded by nature, I’m unlikely to be able to forgive betrayal if something happens. And in general, I think that you can betray not only your homeland, parents and friends. You can betray your child, sister, colleague, boss, partner, distant relative, And so on and so forth. But how disgusting it is to just not care about the feelings of a loving person.

Why deceive yourself? This is how men have fun, not how to save their family. The foundation of a family is marriage; you cannot strengthen the foundation by removing bricks from it. This is laziness and bliss! Like a bad wife... But you can solve all the pressing problems with her, help her, take part of everyday life into your own hands, so that she feels freer, go on vacation together, etc., that is, something that brings you closer and will blossom like that that the mistress will seem like a gray mouse.

Why are Ksyusha deceiving yourself? I’ll tell you from my own experience how more woman we love the less attention she pays to herself. And she slowly turns into a woman with whom it’s not just sex, but just talking, that’s not very interesting. Even if you remove all everyday life from your life and put it on your shoulders, the result will be the same.

..."The husband's low bass was hard to hear, he occasionally only managed to get in a word, but Tatyana's squeal could be heard verbatim if desired. Oleg, Tatiana’s husband, often caught sight of his daughter. Tall, a little shy of his height, with radiant light eyes and large, hard-working hands. »

There is no point in discussing the article. The situation is simple - the author, who was looking at her neighbor, but was turned away, tries to explain to everyone that if Oleg had dragged her into bed, Tatyana would have been silent and not indignant. Under the guise of a psychological article, the simple envy of a loner family through the wall. Where the wife is, there is certainly a lot of vices, and the husband could have been happy, but unfortunately, he did not choose the author. It should be a shame to dump your dreams like that without a twinge on the readers. A desperate disgraceful woman wrote.

One of the most interesting questions, the answer to which thousands of women are interested is: “What are the reasons for male infidelity?!” Today we decided to satisfy the undisguised curiosity of the fair sex and talk about these reasons. Some of them will seem banal to you, others - something new, and certainly you will find a couple of points that are truly shocking. The more you learn from our article, the greater the chances that your man will certainly never cheat.

If some points seem absurd to you, it’s better to just come to terms with them and be prepared than to prove the opposite to yourself with the words “My man is not like that!” and so on.

So, 14 reasons for male infidelity:

One of the most popular reasons is a faded love affair between a man and a woman. Of course, it may seem like a more logical way out of the situation, but male representatives do not always resort to it. Sometimes they are held back by minor children, who will find it difficult to come to terms with their parents’ divorce, sometimes by acquired joint property (apartment, car, house, etc.), and a divorce will force them to share it all, and sometimes even leave it to their wife and children. And why should a man break up with a woman (even one he doesn’t love) who does his laundry, cooks and cleans the house. Of course, it is vile and ugly to exploit and torture a woman, but not all representatives of the stronger half of humanity understand what honor means.

It is possible to correct the situation, but to do this you will need to make a man with whom you have lived many days fall in love with you again, and this is much more difficult than with whom you are unfamiliar.

Seeks diversity (in terms of number of women). A man is a hunter by nature, and a woman is modern world acts as a kind of personification of game. Have you ever thought why men look at other women?! How larger number He can conquer women's hearts, the higher his pride will rise. But again, not all men are committed to winning girls’ hearts, because it is difficult, time-consuming and not always interesting; it is much easier to calculate the number of girls by the number of those whom he was able to “drag into bed.” Therefore, men get married only after their 25th birthday, and during this time they try to have as much fun as possible and collect as many “trophies” as possible. And so those who did not have time to do this before the wedding begin to do this after, trying to stroke their pride.

We would like to say right away that not all “unfed” men lead double life, the fact is that smart wives can provide them with a sex life that they would not trade for anything. Also in this case, group sex helps, which allows a man to realize his dream, but under your strict control.

Wants dirty sex. When a marriage (whether civil or de facto) reaches old age, That sex life For some couples, it turns into a boring, monotonous activity, which is better called satisfying physical needs. If this is the case, then men cheat on their wives also because they want dirty and cheeky sex. It even happens that at the very beginning of a relationship, a girl puts a taboo on many types of sex, preferring the classics (in bed, under the covers, in the dark) and without unnecessary “innovations,” be it positions or place of activity.

Men are often more relaxed about experimenting in sex, and sometimes, on the contrary, they even crave some kind of perversion, which goes against the idea of ​​sex from the female side. As a result, a conflict arises, the way out of which men see only in treason.

This type of infidelity is less dangerous for wives when it comes to family unity, since the man is only interested in sex with another woman, no more and no less. Such a man does not have feelings for another, so he definitely will not leave his family and will not change his attitude towards his wife in any way.

An honest conversation about your sexual desires will help prevent this from happening. Try to make concessions in terms of sex; if you cannot completely agree to the activity proposed by your spouse, then come up with an alternative or exclude some points.

It will be no secret to anyone that large share cheating occurs through “drunk sex,” as men like to put it. When a man drinks more than he should, he becomes uncontrollable; he does not always understand what he is doing, much less understand what the consequences may be. If there is a girl of easy virtue nearby, or a girl who likes this man, she, of course, can take advantage of the situation. It should be understood that the girl should be considered more to blame for this betrayal, since it was she who gave consent and, most likely, provoked it. Of course, the man is not an angel, but in this situation he played more of a secondary role.

If you don’t want your man to sleep with someone while drunk, try to control where and with whom he is going to drink. Under no circumstances should you irritate him, scold him or blame him before doing this. Otherwise, the negative aftertaste with which he leaves the meeting may serve as an additional impetus for betrayal.

Takes revenge on an unfaithful wife/girlfriend."An eye for an eye!" - says the old Jewish commandment. Even if your man is of a different nationality, he can still follow her. Cheating on your wife, even if only for physical level- a real betrayal that causes swipe according to male pride. He can forgive her (if he loves her very much), but the same bitterness of resentment will remain in his soul, which will force him to repay his wife in the same coin. The number of betrayals may be unequal, because a male representative can cheat until he is caught in the act by his wife. Moreover, he will not somehow hide it or somehow brush it off after revealing it; on the contrary, the man is interested in his capture, which will allow him to bring as much pain and suffering as his wife brought him earlier.

You can avoid this type of infidelity quite simply - never betray your man and try not to even give a reason.

Sometimes, the prerequisite is “bad” company, which consists of men and women who are not particularly loyal and devoted to their families and girls in particular. In such a society it is very difficult to remain “normal”, since you will constantly hear ridicule and accusations of henpeckedness behind your back. Not all men can withstand such pressure, and the constant possibility of sex on the side provokes them even more and forces them to follow their secret desires.

It is difficult to exclude the possibility of such infidelity, since it all depends on the degree of friendship of your man with his friends. If they have been friends for a long time and firmly, then it is almost impossible to separate them. If it is temporary or accidental, then everything is much simpler here; it is enough to point out the man’s priorities, and also tell him about his fears.

Tired of a woman who stopped taking care of herself. If we are talking about mature men, then, as a rule, they are paired with equally mature women who can afford such weakness as appearing unkempt and sloppy in front of a man. Constant such revelations begin to irritate men over time, since they feel masculine power in themselves, but cannot express it for such a woman, because they are tired of seeing in front of them an excellent housewife, but a terrible mistress. Therefore, they go in search of women who know how to take care of themselves and remain beautiful, sexy and desirable in any situation with a man. By the way, this point is a good answer to the question: “Why do men have mistresses?”

Every woman knows how to take care of herself, so we will not focus your attention on this, the main thing is to remember that your appearance, may directly depend on the man’s desire to “go left.”

I did something stupid. It is common for everyone, without exception, to make mistakes; the same situation is with nonsense, which is also committed by everyone, only some do them more often, others less often. Sometimes a man, confused about himself and relationships, starts an affair, but after a short period of time he realizes what a fool he is and rushes to break all ties and return to his wife/girlfriend.

It is almost impossible to prevent sex here, since no one is safe from stupidity and rash actions. To forgive or not is also a moot point, it all depends on the case, how serious the betrayal was and whether you are ready to forgive what you did. Try to soberly assess situations and study how honestly the guy repents of his actions.

You may not believe it, but not only women, but also men require attention. If you do not show proper attention to a man, if you are indifferent to him, his work, hobbies, and most importantly his successes, then this threatens betrayal. Moreover, it will be completely unplanned, as soon as another woman shows how she admires a man, she will become his favorite, and the man will have an incentive to show himself in front of her in an even better light and naturally there will be a desire to repay for such attention, which the man has been waiting for for so long not enough.

Wants to renew a faded relationship. Some men believe that lost passion in a relationship can be rekindled with a short break during which they are allowed to “go left.” They believe that sex with another woman can help bring back the spark between husband and wife that was there before. In the first days after the betrayal, the man will indeed behave differently (more submissively, restrainedly, attentively, etc.), but after a week or two, he will understand that everything has returned to normal - his woman is annoying again, the relationship is not working out, and his patience, as before, is running out. And he will again try to find the fuse in sex with another woman, the second “approach” may again change his attitude towards his wife, but now not for long. And all subsequent meetings on the side will bring less and less “high” when, in the end, the man realizes that the relationship has died out completely, and the relationship on the side did not help, but only increased the desire to break off the relationship with his wife/girlfriend.

There is a group of men for whom sex on the side is a kind of activity that is akin to a massage - it relieves stress, makes it possible to relax and forget about problems. After all, in this case you don’t need to talk to the girl about everyday problems or troubles, but only devote all the time to sexual pleasures.

As a rule, it is quite difficult to find such women who meet only for sex, so it is often girls lung behavior, and men are wealthy gentlemen who have the opportunity to arrange such meetings for themselves for money.

It is rarely possible to correct the current situation, since money gives power, which changes men beyond recognition. Or you should become a real sex bomb in bed to prevent infidelity.

For money/fame/property. It will probably be a discovery for you that even men sleep for money. Mostly wealthy women use this type of service and choose younger guys. So when your man brings home a large amount money, this may not always turn out to be a bonus or salary increase :)

Sometimes the reason is related to property issues, when apartments or cars are exchanged for constant sex. This type of betrayal is quite rare, especially in our country, where they seek similar successes V financially only a few.

Well, not all stars get on stage only because of their creative talent.

Sometimes the past is the reason fast paced life, in which the man was popular among the female half of his friends. After all, everything changes in our lives, so the chance that a man will return to the previous element is quite high.

To prevent the development of this situation, you should be quite attentive to changes in the character and behavior of your man. However, you shouldn’t constantly remind him of this so that the guy does it out of spite, or so to speak, so that your accusations are justified.

If your man is constantly traveling or, conversely, you are often not at home, then this may also serve as a certain prerequisite. Separation greatly cools relationships, especially if it is constant and you are at a great distance from each other.

In addition to separation, the reason may be a simple lack of sex in a man. Therefore, before you say that you have a headache or are not in the mood for sex, think about whether refusal is worth it?! Of course, you shouldn’t always follow a man’s lead, but be at least a little supportive of your man.

What do psychologists think about this (video answer):

Well, now you know the secret of guys: why they have mistresses and cheat with them. We sincerely hope that you never have to feel this pain of betrayal!

Men in their views on adultery often adhere to double standards– women are not allowed, but men are allowed. Moreover, some men do not consider one-time contacts to be treason at all.

Why do men cheat but not leave? This may happen because the man loves his wife and considers his marriage successful. After all, there are many reasons why a man cheats, and not all of them are related to dissatisfaction with his wife.

9 most common reasons for male infidelity:

1. Increased sexual need.

In this case, sexual contact is devoid of close communication and emotional attachment. This is a short-term relationship and occurs, as a rule, with unfamiliar partners or with long-time acquaintances - employees or wives of friends.

2. Striving for diversity.

A man wants to get new impressions and sensations during a period when there is a lull and boredom in family life. Why do men cheat on their wives? Most often due to monotony in sex.

3. Random circumstances.

Lung alcohol intoxication increases sexual desire and removes inhibitions. Some men think it is drinking alcohol main reason betrayal.

4. Feelings for another woman.

In this case, an extramarital affair is a completely natural act, because it is part of a relationship based on love.

5. Women's perseverance.

In the modern world, about a third of the female population is unmarried. Many of them are ready to enter into sexual relations with a man, regardless of whether he is married or not. Man facing women's initiative often cannot offend a lady with a refusal. In addition, some fear that they will be considered incompetent.

6. Self-affirmation.

It is common for men who have not realized their career ambitions to please their vanity with a number of sexual victories. Thus, they try to compensate for their professional failure. Research by psychologists agrees that the more successful things are, the less prone a man is to cheat.

7. Revenge.

Some men enter into an affair out of a desire to take revenge on their wife for betrayal or humiliation, or to assert their freedom.

8. Temporary separation from wife.

The absence of a spouse who has gone on a business trip, vacation, or is undergoing treatment is often perceived as a good reason for looking for a temporary replacement.

9. Bonus for success.

A similar reason for betrayal is typical for a man who spent a lot of effort and energy on his professional self-realization. When after for long years hard work he finally achieves serious successes, then decides to reward himself with a mistress.

Very often, men prone to cheating are guided by the principle “life is short and you only get it once.” It is also worth noting the public leniency towards male infidelity, which practically encourages it.

Male infidelity is perceived as an innocent prank, or as a biological need, the satisfaction of which is necessary in order to avoid health problems. However, being faithful or unfaithful is not an innate quality, but a decision.

Did you like the post? Support the magazine "Psychology Today", click: