How to address strangers on the street. How to address strangers
Etiquette is a set of rules of conduct in which one way or another a person's attitude towards other people is manifested. Etiquette has a pronounced situational character. The need to choose one or another word, gesture or some other etiquette sign, first of all, is due to a specific situation. Etiquette situations may be associated either with everyday communication, or with festive events, the performance of certain rituals, or with special circumstances like a guest reception or a dinner party. What rules of treatment exist in the world of human relations? How to properly address a person? Friend, boss unfamiliar man or a woman. Such situations happen all the time, when we constantly need to choose one or another variant of communication. So take into account some practical advice regarding the general norms and rules of treatment in our culture.
Types of contact with each other
- Official;
- Friendly;
- Familiar.
- If you work with your close friends or relatives, then of course, when communicating with them in an official setting in the presence of strangers, you must use “You” and it is better to call each other by their first and middle names.
- If someone calls you impolitely and extremely unpleasant for you, for example, “Hey, you!”, You should not respond to this response, you can ignore it. It is also not necessary to resort to moralizing, you can teach him a lesson by your behavior.
- When during a quarrel one of the participants switches to “you”, thereby trying to humiliate the enemy, this is by no means a demonstration of his superiority, but on the contrary, a person shows his true traits: bad manners, short temper and lack of patience. Of course, it's hard to hold back when they are rude, but be above it. Believe me, your calmness and poise will do their job: the rude person will feel his inadequacy and weakness in relation to you.
- If in any team that is new to you, everyone refers to each other as “you”, and you are used to “You”, you should accept the rules of the team, and not dictate your own. But before switching to “you”, it is recommended that you first contact your colleagues with “You”. If you have been corrected, feel free to use "you", but if not, then you must use "you".
- When telling someone about people, it is not customary to talk about them in the third person - "he" or "she". Even when talking about close relatives, you should use the name.
Good manners rules
Rules good manners provide for how to move from “you” to “you”. The transition to "you" can only be offered by a senior to a junior, a boss to a subordinate. It is difficult to imagine a situation where a subordinate offers his boss to switch to "you". A little more complicated with a man and a woman: it is usually believed that a man can offer, but the right to "allow" belongs to a woman. Modern Relations allow for the inverse model. If we want to change the world around us, we must start with ourselves. If there is rudeness and bad manners around us, this is not a reason to do the same, much less an excuse for our actions. Good manners- this is a huge step towards success and good luck in our lives. Improve and know yourself.Attracting the attention of a person, we call him something. The word-address most often flies out like a sparrow from a proverb - the one that cannot be caught after the fact.
“Grandma, you will be after me. I borrowed over there for a man with glasses, ”I hear at the reception. The guy probably did not want to hurt anyone, but hurt two at once.
The short-sighted man was hardly happy when the whole line unanimously drew attention to his physical handicap. Any woman! - it's nice to hear the word "grandma" only from beloved grandchildren, even if she has been a pensioner for twenty years. And also this wild “you”, which for some reason is sometimes considered the norm in relation to very elderly people!
deceptive appearance
Unsuccessful conversions are perceived very painfully, because they are a kind of verdict about social status .
Modern Russian language in force historical reasons is poorly suited for making such assessments: people have lost the habit of saying “sir” and “comrade”, for the time being they have been replaced by gender and age definitions, and have remained in common use. It would seem that they should sound neutral, because they are not offended by the truth, but ...
1. Few people manage to adequately perceive their age. Young people want to appear older, mature people want to appear younger.
2. There are situations when underlining gender serves as a reminder of stupid stereotypes (for example, prejudice against women at the wheel, about the supposedly “non-male” nature of certain professions).
3. Such a system of appeals is fraught with incidents. Once I, then still a teenage girl, stood with a bicycle at the store. I was wearing a loose tracksuit of blue color(remember what wide suits were worn in the 90s?); short hair I took it to the ponytail. A woman walking by asked: “Boy, can you tell me the time?”
I follow the following strategy:
- in general, I refuse to address “for those who are in favor” - a person remains a man or woman even after sixty;
- there are doubts - it means that you need to try to avoid contact (come closer, attract attention with a polite “Sorry, you ...”).
Additional difficulties arise when it is necessary to distinguish a person in a crowd by external signs.
Can't point to:
- objects that a person uses involuntarily, due to handicap(glasses, hearing aid, equipment for rehabilitation after injury, cane);
- behavior that indicates problems of a personal nature - with health, in the family, etc .;
- ill-chosen wardrobe details (maybe the man put on a business suit with sneakers, because he does not have money for new shoes).
To the question of the tydra
A hare is walking, and an otter is walking towards it.
Hello, tydra!
"I'm not a tydra, I'm an otter!"
Yeah, I'll call any of these on "you"!
To insult someone with the word "you" is a waste of time. It means that the interlocutor is considered the same age or younger (not only in age, but also in rank and position in society).
Of course, another variant of the semantic coloring of a small insidious word is possible - an expression of confidence. However, this is more a case of communication with already close people.
At first, it is advisable to refer to "you" to everyone strangers who came out of childhood, even to peers (if you yourself are no longer a child).
It often happens that those who have changed to better relationship require the transition to "you". Then this initiative should be taken by either the one who is older or the one who occupies a higher position. Women can refuse a man’s offer to switch to “you” without giving a reason.” Young people can ask their elders, showing this the highest degree of respect, to address them as "you", but they themselves must still say "you" to their elders.
The book from which the excerpt is taken was published in the early 90s. The rule is still relevant, but there is one caveat.
Communicating with people 30-40 years old, I notice that many of them (especially intellectuals and bohemians) consider "you" as an annoying underline of the notorious age.
Already at the first meeting, they can offer an interlocutor who is ten years younger to communicate on an equal footing. We must learn to accept such proposals, not to dismiss them out of politeness.
You know, because of this unfortunate “you”, my friendship with a very interesting thirty-eight-year-old man was upset. At twenty-seven, I was terribly embarrassed to “poke” this older friend, stuttered at every appeal. At first, the flickering sincerity and immediacy of communication disappeared completely.
I betrayed your rotation with my opinion ...
Eh, but there is also the so-called netiquette - online courtesy rules. Since the sphere is new, one has to navigate it solely by the situation. Philologists, however, already have a sincere interest in the peculiarities of communication on the Web - they write term papers, dissertations, and articles for magazines on this topic.
In one of the articles (I.V. Evseeva “Netiquette Issues: Addressing “you” and “you” on the Internet”, “Bulletin of the KemGU”, 2012, No. 4), the author notes an interesting pattern.
The question of addresses in modern Russian is one of the most relevant in speech etiquette- a section of linguistics that studies "linguistic politeness". How to contact to a stranger? What do you need to know to do this? I wanted to reflect on this topic… Performed a search and analysis of information. I am not a linguist or a linguist, but what I managed to learn was very useful.
One of the greatest assets of man and the greatest
pleasure - the opportunity to communicate with their own kind. It would seem no
nothing is more natural and easier than talking to someone, but our
everyday life gives many examples of the fact that we sometimes do not know how to communicate or do it not well enough.
The Russian-speaking world is different, with different traditions, even within one group there are a lot of options, a lot of ages, all sorts of styles, "hanging out", fashion - everything, anything. There are intellectuals, laymen, simple people and difficult - it is impossible to tell about all this in a few pages. In the history of address language, things are changing rapidly. It is influenced by social processes and revolutions...
The purpose of the appeal is to establish contact. Without such contact, it is impossible to talk.
Why is contact needed? It is set to determine the circle of communication (or "not communication").
In the vast majority of cases there is no circulation problem. We are talking about appeals to acquaintances, relatives and friends. Everything is clear and simple here.
Each layer of society, including marginal societies and organizations, has its own “accepted and not accepted” appeals: colleagues, brother and sister ...
The problem of address arises when it is necessary to address a stranger. The difficulty is that there are almost no polite neutral words. There are appeals emotionally colored: father, mother or father, son, brother, brother, countryman and the like.
Maxim Krongauz, director of the Institute of Linguistics of the Russian State Humanitarian University, writes: “... this is the whole range of kinship terms in relation to strangers. In fact, we can say that this is such a kind of family metaphor for everything. human society..., familiar, a little colloquial, but warm appeal.
This manner of address was rural, and then it spread to other strata of society, but it still bears the imprint of “simplicity”.
There are a lot of emotionally colored appeals. Suffice it to say that in some situations not only the interjection "Hey!", but even a simple "Uh-uh!" for a call is quite appropriate. "Hey, watch out!" - we will shout, without ceremony, to warn of a sudden danger.
Other emotionally colored appeals made up of random external signs, they sound quite rude. For example: “Hey, in a red blouse, the handkerchief was dropped!”
Before the revolution of 1917, stable addresses were adopted in Russia: sir / madam, sir / madam, citizen / citizen and even Your Excellency, not to mention Your Excellency, Your Nobility and High Nobility ...
At present, they are called gentlemen, emphatically significant, grotesquely - "goss-po-yes!". Or for effect - "hos-po-da!". And it is immediately clear that no one is considered masters here.
Such an appeal is quite acceptable among informals: “Gentlemen! Especially you, hairy, yes, the one on the left. Please give me that half-eaten sandwich, I’m hungry. I'm starting to get sober..."
It sounds very good, as they say, “cool”: “Gentlemen! Lord! Who's holding the elevator there?!!!" Or, "In line, gentlemen!"
The appeal - "gentlemen" - can be perceived as a joke, as irony, or as a mockery.
Politely, call others "masters" and call yourself "your obedient servant."
"WE are not gentlemen - gentlemen are all in Paris!" Sharikov said. When we don’t spit on the floor, throw garbage anywhere and use foul language for any reason, maybe then we will become gentlemen ...
The word "master" is certain meaning and is not a "duty" treatment. For this to happen, probably more than one hundred years must pass ... But before that, the appeal "sir" must come into use.
“There is no master without a slave and a slave without a master. Calling someone "master" automatically degrades us, and who wants that?"
The appeal of "gentleman" quite often means "pathetic" intelligentsia.
From the address “master”, it breathes with pompous pathos, elitist-snobbish officialdom and that very infamous dichotomy “master - slave”, which, contrary to the assertions of the “greens”, is absolutely impossible to get rid of and expel from the associative ranks of our consciousness. For such an association is rooted in the very etymology of this word (as well as in all other historical, literary and everyday contexts of its use, absorbed from childhood). I do not think that the address "mister" is worthy of being a symbol of sincere and mutual respect of the interlocutors. It brings a chill of alienation and stiffness, and sometimes it sounds funny and grotesque (for example, when an old man addresses a young man like that). And isn't it too bold to honor all gentlemen? In short, an overly pretentious word. Where mutual trust and equality reign, the word "master" is certainly inappropriate.
In Russia, it has always been a kind of privilege - to be called / Mrs / Mrs. And after the disappearance of the corresponding classes, this appeal completely lost its meaning.
In Russia, the word "master" serfs addressed the master. And note that, despite the lordly upbringing - never vice versa!
By the way, the White officers, taking the Red Army prisoners, called them "gentlemen" and, thus, they guarded their dignity. They did not communicate with "comrades" - only with "gentlemen" ...
“Mister” is a normal address if you don’t know the name, patronymic of the person you are addressing. Works great for talking on the phone. Immediately gives the interlocutor a solid status. "Sir" is the most neutral address.
Appeal "comrade" ... A bit of history.
"Comrades" - this is how Caesar addressed his legions. And this was the privilege of Caesar's soldiers (they say that the soldiers of the Tenth Legion, beloved by Gaius Julius, were the first to receive such an honor). When Caesar was transporting troops from Italy to Hellas (he wanted to defeat Pompey), the soldiers refused to sail because of the storm. It was enough for Caesar to address them not as “Comrades”, but as “Quirins” (that is, “citizens”) - and they were so ashamed that they begged the commander on their knees to forgive their weakness and cowardice!
“Comrade” - that was the name of the merchants who had a common, as they would say now, business, that is, a GOODS, in other words, they were “COMRADES” to each other.
Appeal - "comrades" is suitable only for equals. But not everyone can be equal. "Goose pig, really no comrade."
The entire Zaporizhian Sich, the Don, part of the Volga, Yaik and Kuban were "comrades". And the merchants were none other than ushkuiniki, they are also merchants, and robbers, and artel workers. Therefore, for a long period, not only and not so much merchants called themselves “comrades”, but free people, free from slavery, from sovereigns and gentlemen, from the state. In Dahl's dictionary we read: "On the road, the son is a comrade to the father, BOTH ARE EQUAL, help each other." Therefore, the address "comrade" means first of all the equality of people, which is possible only among free people.
The appeal "comrade" is very old, in itself - not invented by the Bolsheviks. But it has an important drawback - there is no gender difference.
Then how to understand the appeals - "comrades" and "comrades"?
"Comrade" is more for homeless people and hicks, huddled in flocks, with the most indispensable familiar pats and the corresponding cultural level; It is not for nothing that in our time the word "comrade" has acquired an indelible derogatory and ironic connotation, and now they usually address those who are not particularly (especially not) respected.
Let's compare the appeals: "comrade" and "master" ...
The appeal "master" does not imply the presence of a serf-slave, etc., as Soviet textbooks taught us, but some kind of inner fullness, integrity and will. “Master” means “worthy person”, while “comrade” is something opposite. Do you hear the words "power" and "property" in it? Undoubtedly. The master has power over himself - is responsible for himself and property (in broad sense: honor, social status, capital), - and this is his freedom. Comrade, there is nothing to lose, nothing is dear to him - and therefore he is deceitful and irresponsible - he is a slave to his homelessness.
From a “comrade”, “friend”, or even a “brother” at all, it smells of rotten collectivism and painful desire cling: they say, I'm mine. You are not my own. Mr. free man, master of life, fish in the water. If we in Russia want to build a society of worthy people, internally free and full-fledged, then there can be no talk of any “comrades”.
The word "comrade" does not say anything about dignity, it says only about a subjective attitude. The master will remain the master, no matter how we treat him. Comrades live by comparisons: who is superior to whom. The gentlemen do not need this, for they know that a person does not begin with a wallet, but with a soul and culture. The agreement of the gentlemen is weighty, and to fulfill its conditions is a matter of honor; the word "comrade" does not carry a legal connotation: this word, said, perhaps with sincere feeling, but of a purely personal nature - not a commitment, but an indicator of attitude.
Soviet power "inflicted on the Russian language serious injury from which he still has not recovered. in a violent way generally accepted and habitual appeals were withdrawn from the lexicon. A harmonious and flexible system was destroyed. All the nuances human communication reflected: from the strict “dear sir” to the sincere “my sir” and the familiar “good sir”. It is noteworthy that only the grassroots, common folk tradition, which Maxim Krongauz spoke about, survived. The manner of addressing in terms of kinship, organic for rural speech, spread to other segments of the population. Something had to be done to fill the vacuum. And the words "comrade" and "citizen" were far from suitable for everyone and not always.
Our modern comrade has lost his sharp social meaning, the appeal became applicable to any person.
The noun comrade has no correlative pair female, so its application to women is difficult. Comrade Petrova! - Sounds too formal and solemn.
For the word citizen there is a corresponding pair - a citizen. Its meanings
are:
1. "A person belonging to the permanent population of this state, enjoying all the rights provided for by the laws of this
state, and fulfilling all statutory responsibilities".
2. "Adult person, as well as the form of addressing him".
3. "A person who subordinates his personal interests to the public, serving the Motherland, the people."
This meaning is found, for example, in N.A. Nekrasova: “A poet can you not
be, but must be a citizen.
The word citizen, apparently, correlates with the first two meanings.
Appeals citizen, comrade replaced in revolutionary times a whole
a number of names reflecting social inequality. The lord and madam, the gracious sovereign and the gracious empress, your honor, sir and madam, your excellency, have gone out of use ...
One of the first decrees Soviet power read:
“All titles of a nobleman, merchant, tradesman, peasant, etc.), titles (princely, civil, etc.) and the names of civil ranks (secret, state and other advisers) are destroyed, and one common name for the entire population of Russia is established as a citizen of the Russian Republic ".
Our modern appeal citizen (citizen) has two clearly tangible shades. First, formality and rigor; Second, it's just not polite. ( Good morning…citizen!). Needless to say, the diminutive formation "citizen" also does not add much politeness to communication, it sounds ironic.
“In general, the situation with addresses in Russian is extremely interesting, and not only in Russian,” Maxim Krongauz continues his story. - Address is a very sensitive area of the language, which is very much subject to external influence. There are cases when the authorities simply canceled appeals by decrees and introduced new ones. At one time, the French Convention did so after the revolution, introducing by decree the address "citizen", "citizen". Approximately the same thing, albeit not by decree, but in fact also harshly, happened after October revolution, when the word “comrade” came to replace “sir” and “madame”, “master” and “mistress”, which differed quite a lot. First of all, first of all, it eliminated gender differences, because the address "comrade" was convenient regardless of who the interlocutor was, a man or a woman. Secondly, it removed all differences in social status. The appeal "sir" and "madame", "mister" and "madam" implied a rather high status of the interlocutor. It was impossible to address a person with a low status as “sir”, “madame”. "Comrade" greatly lowered this status. The word "comrade" can refer to any person. In a sense, it reflected democracy, the elimination of all differences, including gender, gender, and social. But after Perestroika, the word "comrade" actually dropped out of the language, remaining only in speech Communist Party, for ideological reasons. Because, after all, "comrade" and in Soviet era understood exactly as Soviet word. That is why, after Perestroika, it actually left the language as neutral, and for many Soviet citizens it was still neutral, although it must be emphasized here that it was not for everyone. This ideological Soviet flavor remained. And the word "master", which is now sometimes used in the press, in official letters, did not become that pre-revolutionary "master". You are absolutely right when you said that it cannot possibly enter the language as a neutral address, and I think that it will not. Today it is most likely perceived as alienating. If a person is addressed as “Mr. Ivanov” (by last name), then they are more likely to be kept at a distance. The normal neutral address in Russian is, of course, the name and patronymic, or the name in a situation where patronymics have lost their positions. So, "sir" can in no way be considered the former, and does not correspond to the neutral address of modern European languages, such as the French "monsieur", the English "mister". This, of course, causes great inconvenience to foreigners, but not to Russians.”
A few years ago, the writer V. Soloukhin proposed to introduce
appeal sir, madam. Many opinions were expressed for and against.
Opponents referred mainly to the fact that it was unusual, strange.
Yes, of course, everything newly introduced is strange at first, but how quickly we get used to it.
to the new! (Good morning, ma'am! Unusual? Yes. But it fits!).
Meanwhile, it is known that Soloukhin's proposal did not take root in life: we have never heard such an appeal anywhere. In the article "Ocean
native word”, published several years later, Soloukhin wrote that, according to
in his opinion, these appeals, as commonly used, did not take root not only
because they were not promoted through radio, newspapers, television, but not
were accepted by the people themselves, since not always and not every woman can
say: "Madam!"
Why, after all, is it still difficult for us to accept the appeal "sir", "madame"? They are outdated, that's right. But there are times when we revive the forgotten in the language. Here, the whole point is that the corresponding associations are associated with these appeals. The pronunciation of the word madam evokes the idea of a woman of a certain Appearance, maybe “Turgenev”, maybe “Chekhov”. So it is not easy for any of our contemporaries to combine her image with the image of the madam. Well, is it not possible to imagine such a process when the application of a word to a person will make him become better? What if you call a person a sir or madam, and he will try to “pull himself up”, behave accordingly!
At least we could borrow a few from the Chinese
Wise they have ignorance of foreigners.
Will we ever be resurrected from the foreign power of fashion?
So that our smart, cheerful people
Although the language did not consider us Germans.
“How to put the European in parallel
With the national - something strange!
Well, how to translate Madame and Mademoiselle?
Really ma'am!!" someone muttered to me...
Imagine everyone here
Laughter erupted at my expense.
(c) Griboyedov
Until “sirs” and “sirs” took root. However, the search for
necessary. Among the most diverse addresses in the national Russian language, in folk speech, probably, you can find a suitable for universal
use in any communication situation. As for the notorious
"men" and "women", then this, of course, is not a godsend. Linguists quite rightly consider addressing adults by gender as incorrect.
In Russia, there is a “Name-Patronymic” system, which in itself is a respectful address. IN pre-revolutionary Russia, addressing by “Name-Patronymic” was a sign of respectful treatment - as opposed to officialdom. A typical example is the naval tradition.
In the language of addresses, there are such formulas of politeness as “be kind”, “be kind”, “excuse me”, “forgive me”. At the same time, in a construction like “Forgive me, but you can’t tell me ....” the word "sorry" loses its meaning. In the first place comes the communicative function, the desire to attract attention.
“All people in the world are called Sorry!”
However, says Maxim Krongauz, director of the Institute of Linguistics at the Russian State Humanitarian University, the content of the word “sorry” is not completely lost in this context. Maxim Krongauz believes that in this case the addressing person, albeit formally, asks for forgiveness for the anxiety caused by the request:
“We turn to someone and thereby involve him in an action that, perhaps, is not interesting to him, unpleasant. This form of "sorry" is, indeed, a request for forgiveness for the inconvenience caused. So I don't think there's anything wrong with the "I'm sorry" form."
And briefly I want to say about the appeals in a business letter ...
The most common form of address in a business letter is "Dear...". The word respected is used as a neutral form of politeness, usually in combination with either the addressee's first name or patronymic, or with the words mister (plus the addressee's surname), comrade (plus the addressee's surname), colleague (plus the addressee's surname). It can also be used with the name of a position, rank or social status.
The address "sir - gentlemen", which had official status until 1917, is now widely used in various fields the life of our society. However, it should be remembered that even a word reduced to an index of politeness when addressing by surname is not free from lexical meaning, which includes an idea of the social status of the addressee. This is how they address in letters to business partners, entrepreneurs, bankers, officials, artists, politicians. At the same time, it is absolutely impossible to imagine the situation of using this appeal in relation to socially unprotected groups of the population: “gentlemen with disabilities”, “gentlemen refugees”, “gentlemen unemployed”. In this case, the compilers business letters find themselves in plight, since today there is no national language in the Russian language universal appeal, which until 1917 was the paired address "sir - madam" (gracious sovereign - gracious sovereign).
When referring to a specific to an individual use various forms: with and without an index, by surname and by name and patronymic. Depending on the degree of closeness with your correspondent, the appeal may begin with the words “Dear + first name” or “Dear + last name”, for example:
Dear Mr. Vasiliev!
Dear Mr. Ivanov!
Dear Alexey Stepanovich,
Dear Irina Petrovna!
When choosing a formula of address, you need to remember that a last name implies a distance and gives the letter a more official character, while addressing by name and patronymic emphasizes the well-established business relationship.
The comma after the address gives the letter an everyday character; The exclamation point indicates that the fact of referring to this person or the issue raised in the letter is of particular importance.
In the case when there is a comma after the address, the text of the letter begins with a lowercase letter, after the exclamation mark, the first sentence must begin with an uppercase letter.
The absence of a surname and name address is permissible only if there is a collective addressee and in stenciled letters, as well as when addressing a letter to a legal entity.
In the latter case, the name of the position can be used in the appeal formula, for example: “Dear Mr. Director!”, “Dear Mr. Ambassador!”. Judges are addressed "Your Honor!"
If the addressee has a rank or title, you can indicate it instead of addressing “master”.
When addressing the addressee, it is necessary to take into account the scope of his activity and official position. The neutral word "respected" is also not universal, it is not included in the formula of a nominal address to a particularly important person. Such a person is considered not only a high official (members of the government, parliament, governors, mayors), but also an honored worker of science, art, a well-known public figure. In letters to such people, appeals are used: “Dear ...”, “Dear ...”, for example, “Dear Nikolai Vasilyevich!”
In a number of letters, when a particular person is considered as a subject civil relations, the word "citizen" is used as an address.
When referring to a collective addressee, the most commonly used expressions are:
Dear Sirs!
Ladies and gentlemen!
Dear Colleagues! (when referring to persons of the same profession)
Dear Veterans!
How often do you need to turn to a new acquaintance or random person? It happens that people are able to get confused in a situation when they suddenly need to turn to someone. And you can't just take it and say "Hey!" or "I'm sorry." How should one act? How to contact people?
In fact, in etiquette there are quite understandable and understandable actions for everyone in this regard.
If you are older
If you are several years older than the person you are addressing, then, depending on the specific case, according to etiquette, you can refer to the person as “you” or “young man”. It would be appropriate to add "Sorry"/"I'm sorry." Such an appeal used to be often heard among the inhabitants of Leningrad, who turned to young people: "Sorry, young man ....". Apologies actually meant that the one who applied apologizes in advance for taking up time.
If you are younger
If you younger than that, to whom you decide to turn, it is better to turn to "you". The exceptions are when the person is only two or three years older than you. In the rest, it is better to address the person in a respectful manner: "Excuse me, please"; "Man, you dropped", "Girl, are you busy?" and so on.
Ancient appeals
In the USSR, a passer-by could often be addressed as "Citizen" or "Comrade". Moreover, such an appeal was relevant among representatives of the police and the ranks of citizens. Today, more and more often, among representatives of the law, one can hear appeals: “Young man”, “Girl”, “Woman or “Man”. In general, the most common appeals that are common in society. All because addressing people, calling them comrades, is already not relevant for many, although among military personnel or even students it may be quite appropriate.
greeting etiquette
Speaking about how to greet people, it is worth recalling that the words "Hello", "Hi", "Great" and others are familiar. In etiquette, they are allowed to be used only among close friends. At the same time, it is emphasized that if you meet people who are not familiar with your surroundings, you should say hello to a friend according to generally accepted rules: "Hello", "Hi".
When greeting people who are an order of magnitude older than you, you should not ask questions like: “How are you?”, “How are you?”, “How are you?”. In etiquette, it is customary to ask "How are you?", "How are you?". Pay attention to the respectful address to the interlocutor.
Etiquette in the workplace
Business appeal - demonstration respectful attitude to partners and colleagues. Therefore, it is customary to address everyone as “you”: managers, subordinates, clients, partners, colleagues, regardless of age and status. The official situation requires increased courtesy in addressing the interlocutor, regardless of his position. An appeal to the most important persons occupying a high public or official position, distinguished for outstanding services, may be as follows: "Highly respected (deeply respected)" I.O.
In the office environment, addressing by name and patronymic is provided, the only exception can be that employee or client who himself asks to address him only by name. In this case, you must use full form name, for example Anatoly, not Tolya. Refer to "you". Perhaps, having worked together for a long time, you managed to become good friends, or maybe friends, you should not combine business and personal relationships in the workplace, among colleagues you should not give yourself indulgence in the form of familiar addresses, follow the rules of etiquette. Also, in the business world, gender-based appeals “Girl”, “Man”, etc. are unacceptable. Address options: “Dear colleagues!”, “Gentlemen” are quite acceptable.
In transport, in the store and just on the street, we are constantly faced with the need to turn to a person we don’t know. How to do it right? “Woman”, “man”, “girl”, “young man” involuntarily fly off the tongue. However, these words sound rude, unnatural, and sometimes even insulting. What if you can’t immediately determine the approximate age of the person you want to contact?
Where are you "lost" the right words
Unfortunately, in modern Russian there are no analogues to the neutral "Mrs" and "Mr", as in the English, or "Madame" and "Monsieur" - in the French. But only 100 years ago they were, and in abundance.
People noble birth“sir” and “madame”, “mister” and “madam” addressed each other (the position was usually added to the last pair, for example, “Mr. Judge”). In addition, there was a whole series of appeals, or titles associated with the position of a person in the Table of Ranks. As you know, in this document all civil, military and court ranks were divided into 14 classes. The ranks of the first and second classes had to be addressed as “your excellency”, the third and fourth - “your excellency”, and so on, up to the modest “your honor”, which was awarded to officials from grades 9 to 14.
Among common people in the course were the appeals “master” and “lady”, “sir” and “madame”, “father” and “mother”. However, all this diversity suddenly turned out to be banned when the power in the country changed and the Bolsheviks, who took the helm, declared a fight against class inequality. The words "citizen" and "citizen", as well as the genderless universal "comrade", were introduced into circulation. This rule has been in place for several decades.
At the turn of the century, our country experienced a new change of power. The word "comrade" quickly fell out of fashion and became associated with the ideology of yesteryear. Young people were especially active in getting rid of it, and today it can be heard only in the circles of members of a certain party. The forms "citizen" and "citizen" have been preserved as official addresses, but they sound bad and make one alert ("citizen, let's go").
So, pre-revolutionary forms of address were banned many decades ago, the words that replaced them also outlived themselves, and nothing came to replace the latter. Attempts are being made again in the old manner to call the girl a young lady, and young man- sir. But while these forms sound unnatural, and even with a touch of mockery. And not in all situations they are appropriate (for example, in crowded transport).
What appeals exist in modern language
There are not many options, and, unfortunately, none of them is at the same time suitable for all cases, neutral and polite. See for yourself:
Woman / girl, man / young man - sounds rude, hints at age and can offend;
Sir, madam - in everyday speech and everyday conversations it sounds unnatural;
Madam, young lady - has a touch of irony;
Citizen, citizen - sounds formal, causes negative associations;
Mother, father, brother, countryman - familiar;
Dear, dearest, most respectable, dear - they sound condescending and sarcastic.
There are certain speech situations, in which some forms of treatment are allowed. For example, old man can refer to people younger than himself as “daughter” or “son”, and it is permissible for a child to pronounce “aunt” and “uncle”. It is also sometimes allowed to address the interlocutor, calling his profession: "doctor", "professor", "conductor".
However, alas, there is no universal "life buoy" for all occasions in modern Russian. What if you want to observe etiquette and not offend the interlocutor?
How to address strangers
To start a conversation with a person whose name you don't know, use neutral phrases.
If your potential interlocutor is looking the other way, and you need to draw his attention to yourself, they will do:
May I ask you?
Excuse me, please…
Sorry…
I'm sorry…
When will it be installed eye contact, continue the conversation and state your request or question. It is appropriate to add a greeting.
You won't tell...
Could you…
Good afternoon, tell me please ...
Hello! Tell me please…
So you can strike up a conversation and find out necessary information without racking his brains on how to address a person.
There are people whose job it is to advise or provide services to other people. These are waiters, consultants, sellers. You do not need to start a conversation with them with an apology, as you do not distract them from their business. You are their business at the moment. Instead of “excuse me”, you can say “be kind”, “can I ask you?” or "be kind."
If a person is just going about their business or is busy with work not related to serving visitors, then it would be appropriate to start the phrase with an apology.
People of many professions - doctors, salesmen, waiters - wear badges with names. If you see such a badge, you can address the person by their first name (or first name and patronymic, if it is indicated in full). Don't forget to say "you".
Will the appeals “sir”, “lady” and others return to speech?
Hopefully one day we will return to ancient forms address, such as "sir", "mister", "madam" or "young lady", pronouncing them without a hint of irony or familiarity. Or that new appeals will be born naturally in the language. However, now is not the time in which it would be possible to plant this or that word forcibly, as “comrade” once planted. Therefore, we can only wait and watch the language, because, like a living organism, it is constantly changing, developing, trying new things and leaving only the viable.
