Reaching out to different people. If you are older
Instruction
After the greeting, it is worth introducing yourself and explaining the reason why the addressee writes to a stranger - the addressee. Perhaps the main rule is saving someone else's time. Phrases need to be formulated capaciously, clearly, concisely. With punctuation, emoticons and slang, do not overdo it. If literacy is lame, then it is worth writing simple sentences, without locomotive participle turns after the first comma. Greetings are better to choose neutral: "Good afternoon", "Hello".
The next paragraph is the main part of the letter, where the author explains his interest in more detail, asks questions, explains the essence of the problem in detail. If this is a business letter, then it would be appropriate to refer to two or three mutual acquaintances or people who are respected so that the recipient can verify the information presented. If this is a purely personal and delicate letter (for example, the addressee is a potential relative, classmate or person whose help is needed), then it is worth saying the emotions of the interlocutor. For example: "I understand that you may be surprised to receive this letter" or "I hope you are not upset, but the situation..."
The third paragraph is an expression of gratitude and general phrases like: "Thank you for paying attention and reading this letter to the end" and "I look forward to productive cooperation." A polite "tail": "Sincerely" or "All the best" is acceptable, but it would be better if it was a personal signature, and not a template hammered into the mail program. business man leaves after his signature his contacts: the company's website, reception phone numbers. Private correspondence implies a link to a phone or blog - any personal resource that will help you navigate in the subject of the letter.
note
Correspondence with a stranger implies politeness, goodwill and the hope of continuing the dialogue. At the end of the letter, a postscript is possible: "If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them."
Sources:
- Letter templates for all occasions.
Relatives, friends, acquaintances are those whose support you can always count on. But what to do if you have to contact a stranger, and besides, not personally, but through a letter? In this case, courtesy and the correct approach to writing a message will help out.
Instruction
Choose a title depending on the age of the person you are writing to. It is customary to address a child under 16 with “you”, when communicating with a stranger older than this age, the rules good manners require the use of the pronoun "you". At the same time, it is quite acceptable to call the young man or by name without a patronymic, for example, “I know, Alexander, that you ...” or “I decided to write to you, Natasha ...”. A person of middle and older age is addressed by name and patronymic. If it is of character and addressed to an official, regardless of age, call him by his first name and patronymic.
Introduce yourself and give some information about yourself.
Briefly state the essence of your letter. Inform the recipient about whether you want to tell him something, ask for something, or apologize for something. For example, “I think you will be interested that you have relatives in Belarus” or “Circumstances force me to turn to you with a request for help.”
State the information that you want to convey to the addressee. Try to write concisely, avoid ambiguous phrases and expressions: the person is not familiar with you, does not know what to expect from you, so there is a possibility of being misunderstood.
At the end of the letter, specifically formulate your request or wish so that the addressee has no doubts about what you still want from him. If you make a request, accompany it with an apology for the inconvenience.
Say goodbye politely. Thank you for your attention to your message.
Re-read the written letter, make the necessary adjustments to it.
Especially delicately and thoughtfully should be treated to writing a letter of request. If the fulfillment of what you ask requires significant effort, the natural reaction of the addressee will be to refuse you. In such cases, you need to think about what can serve as a motive for a stranger who does not owe you anything to take actions in your interest. Unobtrusively appeal to high feelings: responsibility, compassion, etc. Sometimes, on the contrary, such incentive motives as the desire to obtain material benefits, to become famous, turn out to be more effective. Support the request set out in the official letter with justification for its legitimacy and references to the law.
A business proposal, whether or not it concerns partnerships, purchase and sale of goods or services, cooperation in specific projects or an invitation to work for a key employee, should be clearly structured and contain maximum information with a minimum of text.
Appeal to strangers (on the street, in transport, in a store, etc.) hometown causes confusion and confusion. And if you find yourself in another country, on the streets of an unfamiliar city? Take advantage of our recommendations. A polite address to a stranger should begin with an apology for the inconvenience caused. Then, after an apology, feel free to ask a question or request. The most used turns in English language are "Excuse me", "Pardon me" and "I beg your pardon". If we draw a parallel with the Russian language, then they correspond to the following expressions "Excuse me", "Forgive me" and "I beg your pardon". The phrase "Pardon me", less often "I beg your pardon", is used if, when addressing a stranger, you tear him away from business or interrupt his conversation with other people. In all other cases, the turnover "Excuse me" is used.
Examples of addressing a stranger:
(Turning to passers-by on the streets of the city)
Excuse me, can you tell me the way to Westminster Abbey?
Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Westminster Abbey?
Excuse me, can you please direct me to the nearest bus stop?
Excuse me, can you please tell me how to get to the nearest bus stop?
Excuse me, which is the way to the underground here?
Excuse me, how do I get to the subway from here?
Excuse me, could you tell me the shortest way to the theatre?
Excuse me, could you point me to the closest way to the theatre?
Excuse me, how can I get to the nearest underground station?
Excuse me, how can I get to the nearest metro station?
Excuse me, but I wish to know where the Caesar Hotel is?
Excuse me, I need to know where the Caesar Hotel is?
Excuse me, could you tell me the correct time?
Excuse me, could you tell me the exact time?
(referring to a passenger in the transport)
Excuse me, you "ve left your umbrella here.
Sorry, you forgot your umbrella.
Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Excuse me, is this place not taken?
Excuse me, are you getting off at the next stop?
Excuse me, are you getting off at the next stop?
(Appeal of a woman / man to a person younger in age)
Pardon me, would you please help me cross the street?
Excuse me, could you help me cross the road?
(Appeal to a group of people engaged in some business)
Pardon me for interrupting, where can I find the Tower on this map, please?
Forgive me for interrupting your conversation, can you tell me where can I find the Tower on this map?
Under certain circumstances, a stranger is approached not with a polite request, question, etc., but only with an apology. So, for example, in a theater, when you walk between the rows of seats, you disturb people who are already sitting in their seats. In this case, polite behavior is to apologize for each such concern by saying:
In the case when the anxiety turns out to be more significant - they accidentally pushed, accidentally hit, stepped on the foot, etc. - any of the following expressions is possible as a form of apology:
I "m sorry! - Sorry!
I "m very sorry! - I'm very sorry!
Pardon me! - Sorry!
Please forgive me! - Excuse me, please!
I run your sorry! - I'm sorry!
I beg your pardon for ... - I apologize for the fact that ...
For example:
I beg your pardon for bothering you!
I apologize to you for the inconvenience!
If you are sure that your actions are disturbing strangers, for example, while on a train, you listen to the radio in the presence of fellow travelers, then be sure to ask them a question:
I "m sorry, am I disturbing you? - Sorry, I'm not disturbing you?
Sometimes it becomes necessary to turn to a stranger with a request, the fulfillment of which requires effort or action, for example, open or close a window, move, pass something, rearrange, etc. In this case, the call starts like this:
Sorry to trouble you, but … - Sorry to trouble you, but The expression "sorry to trouble you" can be used in various requests. The use of this expression gives extra courtesy to the request, for example:
Sorry to trouble you, but could you tell me the time?
Excuse me for disturbing you, could you tell me what time it is?
The expressions "Excuse me" (Pardon me, I beg your pardon) are not used as a form of address for police officers, porters and waiters. Accepted addresses: to the policeman - Officer!, to the porter - Porter!, to the waiter - Waiter!
Now you just have to apply the acquired knowledge in practice and pass for the most polite foreigner abroad.
Shvyryaeva Marina Borisovna
The question of addresses in modern Russian is one of the most relevant in speech etiquette- a section of linguistics that studies "linguistic politeness". How to contact a stranger? What do you need to know to do this? I wanted to reflect on this topic… Performed a search and analysis of information. I am not a linguist or a linguist, but what I managed to learn was very useful.
One of the greatest assets of man and the greatest
pleasure - the opportunity to communicate with their own kind. It would seem no
nothing is more natural and easier than talking to someone, but our
everyday life gives many examples of the fact that we sometimes do not know how to communicate or do it not well enough.
The Russian-speaking world is different, with different traditions, even within one group there are a lot of options, a lot of ages, all sorts of styles, "hanging out", fashion - everything, anything. There are intellectuals, laymen, simple people and difficult - it is impossible to tell about all this in a few pages. In the history of address language, things are changing rapidly. It is influenced by social processes and revolutions...
The purpose of the appeal is to establish contact. Without such contact, it is impossible to talk.
Why is contact needed? It is set to determine the circle of communication (or "not communication").
In the vast majority of cases there is no circulation problem. We are talking about appeals to acquaintances, relatives and friends. Everything is clear and simple here.
Each layer of society, including marginal societies and organizations, has its own “accepted and not accepted” appeals: colleagues, brother and sister ...
The problem of address arises when it is necessary to address a stranger. The difficulty is that there are almost no polite neutral words. There are appeals emotionally colored: father, mother or father, son, brother, brother, countryman and the like.
Maxim Krongauz, director of the Institute of Linguistics of the Russian State Humanitarian University, writes: “... this is the whole range of kinship terms in relation to strangers. In fact, we can say that this is such a kind of family metaphor for everything. human society..., familiar, a little colloquial, but warm appeal.
This manner of address was rural, and then it spread to other strata of society, but it still bears the imprint of “simplicity”.
There are a lot of emotionally colored appeals. Suffice it to say that in some situations not only the interjection "Hey!", but even a simple "Uh-uh!" for a call is quite appropriate. "Hey, watch out!" - we will shout, without ceremony, to warn of a sudden danger.
Other emotionally colored appeals made up of random external signs, they sound quite rude. For example: “Hey, in a red blouse, the handkerchief was dropped!”
Before the revolution of 1917, stable addresses were adopted in Russia: sir / madam, sir / madam, citizen / citizen and even Your Excellency, not to mention Your Excellency, Your Nobility and High Nobility ...
At present, they are called gentlemen, emphatically significant, grotesquely - "goss-po-yes!". Or for effect - "hos-po-da!". And it is immediately clear that no one is considered masters here.
Such an appeal is quite acceptable among informals: “Gentlemen! Especially you, hairy, yes, the one on the left. Please give me that half-eaten sandwich, I’m hungry. I'm starting to get sober..."
It sounds very good, as they say, “cool”: “Gentlemen! Lord! Who's holding the elevator there?!!!" Or, "In line, gentlemen!"
The appeal - "gentlemen" - can be perceived as a joke, as irony, or as a mockery.
Politely, call others "masters" and call yourself "your obedient servant."
"WE are not gentlemen - gentlemen are all in Paris!" Sharikov said. When we don’t spit on the floor, throw garbage anywhere and use foul language for any reason, maybe then we will become gentlemen ...
The word "master" is certain meaning and is not a "duty" treatment. For this to happen, probably more than one hundred years must pass ... But before that, the appeal "sir" must come into use.
“There is no master without a slave and a slave without a master. Calling someone "master" automatically degrades us, and who wants that?"
The appeal of "gentleman" quite often means "pathetic" intelligentsia.
From the address “master”, it breathes with pompous pathos, elitist-snobbish officialdom and that very infamous dichotomy “master - slave”, which, contrary to the assertions of the “greens”, is absolutely impossible to get rid of and expel from the associative ranks of our consciousness. For such an association is rooted in the very etymology of this word (as well as in all other historical, literary and everyday contexts of its use, absorbed from childhood). I do not think that the address "mister" is worthy of being a symbol of sincere and mutual respect of the interlocutors. It brings a chill of alienation and stiffness, and sometimes it sounds funny and grotesque (for example, when an old man addresses a young man like that). And isn't it too bold to honor all gentlemen? In short, an overly pretentious word. Where mutual trust and equality reign, the word "master" is certainly inappropriate.
In Russia, it has always been a kind of privilege - to be called / Mrs / Mrs. And after the disappearance of the corresponding classes, this appeal completely lost its meaning.
In Russia, the word "master" serfs addressed the master. And note that, despite the lordly upbringing - never vice versa!
By the way, the White officers, taking the Red Army prisoners, called them "gentlemen" and, thus, they guarded their dignity. They did not communicate with "comrades" - only with "gentlemen" ...
“Mister” is a normal address if you don’t know the name, patronymic of the person you are addressing. Works great for talking on the phone. Immediately gives the interlocutor a solid status. "Sir" is the most neutral address.
Appeal "comrade" ... A bit of history.
"Comrades" - this is how Caesar addressed his legions. And this was the privilege of Caesar's soldiers (they say that the soldiers of the Tenth Legion, beloved by Gaius Julius, were the first to receive such an honor). When Caesar was transporting troops from Italy to Hellas (he wanted to defeat Pompey), the soldiers refused to sail because of the storm. It was enough for Caesar to address them not as “Comrades”, but as “Quirins” (that is, “citizens”) - and they were so ashamed that they begged the commander on their knees to forgive their weakness and cowardice!
“Comrade” - that was the name of the merchants who had a common, as they would say now, business, that is, a GOODS, in other words, they were “COMRADES” to each other.
Appeal - "comrades" is suitable only for equals. But not everyone can be equal. "Goose pig, really no comrade."
The entire Zaporizhian Sich, the Don, part of the Volga, Yaik and Kuban were "comrades". And the merchants were none other than ushkuiniki, they are also merchants, and robbers, and artel workers. Therefore, for a long period, not only and not so much merchants called themselves “comrades”, but free people, free from slavery, from sovereigns and gentlemen, from the state. In Dahl's dictionary we read: "On the road, the son is a comrade to the father, BOTH ARE EQUAL, help each other." Therefore, the address "comrade" means first of all the equality of people, which is possible only among free people.
The appeal "comrade" is very old, in itself - not invented by the Bolsheviks. But it has an important drawback - there is no gender difference.
Then how to understand the appeals - "comrades" and "comrades"?
"Comrade" is more for homeless people and hicks, huddled in flocks, with the most indispensable familiar pats and the corresponding cultural level; It is not for nothing that in our time the word "comrade" has acquired an indelible derogatory and ironic connotation, and now they usually address those who are not particularly (especially not) respected.
Let's compare the appeals: "comrade" and "master" ...
The appeal "master" does not imply the presence of a serf-slave, etc., as Soviet textbooks taught us, but some kind of inner fullness, integrity and will. “Master” means “worthy person”, while “comrade” is something opposite. Do you hear the words "power" and "property" in it? Undoubtedly. The master has power over himself - is responsible for himself and property (in broad sense: honor, social status, capital), - and this is his freedom. Comrade, there is nothing to lose, nothing is dear to him - and therefore he is deceitful and irresponsible - he is a slave to his homelessness.
From a “comrade”, “friend”, or even a “brother” at all, it smells of rotten collectivism and painful desire cling: they say, I'm mine. You are not my own. Mr. free man, master of life, fish in the water. If we in Russia want to build a society of worthy people, internally free and full-fledged, then there can be no talk of any “comrades”.
The word "comrade" does not say anything about dignity, it says only about a subjective attitude. The master will remain the master, no matter how we treat him. Comrades live by comparisons: who is superior to whom. The gentlemen do not need this, for they know that a person does not begin with a wallet, but with a soul and culture. The agreement of the gentlemen is weighty, and to fulfill its conditions is a matter of honor; the word "comrade" does not carry a legal connotation: this word, said, perhaps with sincere feeling, but of a purely personal nature - not a commitment, but an indicator of attitude.
Soviet power "inflicted on the Russian language serious injury from which he still has not recovered. in a violent way generally accepted and habitual appeals were withdrawn from the lexicon. A harmonious and flexible system was destroyed. All the nuances human communication reflected: from the strict “dear sir” to the sincere “my sir” and the familiar “good sir”. It is noteworthy that only the grassroots, common folk tradition, which Maxim Krongauz spoke about, survived. The manner of addressing in terms of kinship, organic for rural speech, spread to other segments of the population. Something had to be done to fill the vacuum. And the words "comrade" and "citizen" were far from suitable for everyone and not always.
Our modern comrade has lost his sharp social meaning, the appeal became applicable to any person.
The noun comrade has no correlative pair female, so its application to women is difficult. Comrade Petrova! - Sounds too formal and solemn.
For the word citizen there is a corresponding pair - a citizen. Its meanings
are:
1. "A person belonging to the permanent population of this state, enjoying all the rights provided for by the laws of this
state, and fulfilling all statutory responsibilities".
2. "Adult person, as well as the form of addressing him".
3. "A person who subordinates his personal interests to the public, serving the Motherland, the people."
This meaning is found, for example, in N.A. Nekrasova: “A poet can you not
be, but must be a citizen.
The word citizen, apparently, correlates with the first two meanings.
Appeals citizen, comrade replaced in revolutionary times a whole
a number of names reflecting social inequality. The lord and madam, the gracious sovereign and the gracious empress, your honor, sir and madam, your excellency, have gone out of use ...
One of the first decrees Soviet power read:
“All titles of a nobleman, merchant, tradesman, peasant, etc.), titles (princely, civil, etc.) and the names of civil ranks (secret, state and other advisers) are destroyed, and one common name for the entire population of Russia is established as a citizen of the Russian Republic ".
Our modern appeal citizen (citizen) has two clearly tangible shades. First, formality and rigor; Second, it's just not polite. ( Good morning…citizen!). Needless to say, the diminutive formation "citizen" also does not add much politeness to communication, it sounds ironic.
“In general, the situation with addresses in Russian is extremely interesting, and not only in Russian,” Maxim Krongauz continues his story. - Address is a very sensitive area of the language, which is very much subject to external influence. There are cases when the authorities simply canceled appeals by decrees and introduced new ones. At one time, the French Convention did so after the revolution, introducing by decree the address "citizen", "citizen". Approximately the same thing, albeit not by decree, but in fact also harshly, happened after October revolution, when the word “comrade” came to replace “sir” and “madame”, “master” and “mistress”, which differed quite a lot. First of all, first of all, it eliminated gender differences, because the address "comrade" was convenient regardless of who the interlocutor was, a man or a woman. Secondly, it removed all differences in social status. The appeal "sir" and "madame", "mister" and "madam" implied a rather high status of the interlocutor. It was impossible to address a person with a low status as “sir”, “madame”. "Comrade" greatly lowered this status. The word "comrade" can refer to any person. In a sense, it reflected democracy, the elimination of all differences, including gender, gender, and social. But after Perestroika, the word "comrade" actually dropped out of the language, remaining only in speech Communist Party, for ideological reasons. Because, after all, "comrade" and in Soviet era understood exactly how Soviet word. That is why, after Perestroika, it actually left the language as neutral, and for many Soviet citizens it was still neutral, although it must be emphasized here that it was not for everyone. This ideological Soviet flavor remained. And the word "master", which is now sometimes used in the press, in official letters, did not become that pre-revolutionary "master". You are absolutely right when you said that it cannot possibly enter the language as a neutral address, and I think that it will not. Today it is most likely perceived as alienating. If a person is addressed as “Mr. Ivanov” (by last name), then they are more likely to be kept at a distance. The normal neutral address in Russian is, of course, the name and patronymic, or the name in a situation where patronymics have lost their positions. So, "sir" can in no way be considered the former, and does not correspond to the neutral address of modern European languages, such as the French "monsieur", the English "mister". This, of course, causes great inconvenience to foreigners, but not to Russians.”
A few years ago, the writer V. Soloukhin proposed to introduce
appeal sir, madam. Many opinions were expressed for and against.
Opponents referred mainly to the fact that it was unusual, strange.
Yes, of course, everything newly introduced is strange at first, but how quickly we get used to it.
to the new! (Good morning, ma'am! Unusual? Yes. But it fits!).
Meanwhile, it is known that Soloukhin's proposal did not take root in life: we have never heard such an appeal anywhere. In the article "Ocean
native word”, published several years later, Soloukhin wrote that, according to
in his opinion, these appeals, as commonly used, did not take root not only
because they were not promoted through radio, newspapers, television, but not
were accepted by the people themselves, since not always and not every woman can
say: "Madam!"
Why, after all, is it still difficult for us to accept the appeal "sir", "madame"? They are outdated, that's right. But there are times when we revive the forgotten in the language. Here, the whole point is that the corresponding associations are associated with these appeals. The pronunciation of the word madam evokes the idea of a woman of a certain Appearance, maybe “Turgenev”, maybe “Chekhov”. So it is not easy for any of our contemporaries to combine her image with the image of the madam. Well, is it not possible to imagine such a process when the application of a word to a person will make him become better? What if you call a person a sir or madam, and he will try to “pull himself up”, behave accordingly!
At least we could borrow a few from the Chinese
Wise they have ignorance of foreigners.
Will we ever be resurrected from the foreign power of fashion?
So that our smart, cheerful people
Although the language did not consider us Germans.
“How to put the European in parallel
With the national - something strange!
Well, how to translate Madame and Mademoiselle?
Really ma'am!!" someone muttered to me...
Imagine everyone here
Laughter erupted at my expense.
(c) Griboedov
Until “sirs” and “sirs” took root. However, the search for
necessary. Among the most diverse addresses in the national Russian language, in folk speech, probably, you can find a suitable for universal
use in any communication situation. As for the notorious
"men" and "women", then this, of course, is not a godsend. Linguists quite rightly consider addressing adults by gender as incorrect.
In Russia, there is a “Name-Patronymic” system, which in itself is a respectful address. IN pre-revolutionary Russia, addressing by “Name-Patronymic” was a sign of respectful treatment - as opposed to officialdom. A typical example is the naval tradition.
In the language of addresses, there are such formulas of politeness as “be kind”, “be kind”, “excuse me”, “forgive me”. At the same time, in a construction like “Forgive me, but you can’t tell me ....” the word "sorry" loses its meaning. In the first place comes the communicative function, the desire to attract attention.
“All people in the world are called Sorry!”
However, says Maxim Krongauz, director of the Institute of Linguistics at the Russian State Humanitarian University, the content of the word “sorry” is not completely lost in this context. Maxim Krongauz believes that in this case the addressing person, albeit formally, asks for forgiveness for the anxiety caused by the request:
“We turn to someone and thereby involve him in an action that, perhaps, is not interesting to him, unpleasant. This form of "sorry" is, indeed, a request for forgiveness for the inconvenience caused. So I don't think there's anything wrong with the "I'm sorry" form."
And briefly I want to say about the appeals in a business letter ...
The most common form of address in a business letter is "Dear...". The word respected is used as a neutral form of politeness, usually in combination with either the addressee's first name or patronymic, or with the words mister (plus the addressee's surname), comrade (plus the addressee's surname), colleague (plus the addressee's surname). It can also be used with the name of a position, rank or social status.
The address "sir - gentlemen", which had official status until 1917, is now widely used in various fields the life of our society. However, it should be remembered that even a word reduced to an index of politeness when addressing by surname is not free from lexical meaning, which includes the idea of social status addressee. This is how they address in letters to business partners, entrepreneurs, bankers, officials, artists, politicians. At the same time, it is absolutely impossible to imagine the situation of using this appeal in relation to socially unprotected groups of the population: “gentlemen with disabilities”, “gentlemen refugees”, “gentlemen unemployed”. In this case, the compilers business letters find themselves in plight, since today there is no national language in the Russian language universal appeal, which until 1917 was the paired address "sir - madam" (gracious sovereign - gracious sovereign).
When referring to a specific to an individual use various forms: with and without an index, by surname and by name and patronymic. Depending on the degree of closeness with your correspondent, the appeal may begin with the words “Dear + first name” or “Dear + last name”, for example:
Dear Mr. Vasiliev!
Dear Mr. Ivanov!
Dear Alexey Stepanovich,
Dear Irina Petrovna!
When choosing a formula of address, you need to remember that a last name implies a distance and gives the letter a more official character, while addressing by name and patronymic emphasizes the well-established business relationship.
The comma after the address gives the letter an everyday character; The exclamation point indicates that the fact of referring to this person or the issue raised in the letter is of particular importance.
In the case when there is a comma after the address, the text of the letter begins with a lowercase letter, after the exclamation mark, the first sentence must begin with an uppercase letter.
The absence of a surname and name address is permissible only if there is a collective addressee and in stenciled letters, as well as when addressing a letter to a legal entity.
In the latter case, the name of the position can be used in the appeal formula, for example: “Dear Mr. Director!”, “Dear Mr. Ambassador!”. Judges are addressed "Your Honor!"
If the addressee has a rank or title, you can indicate it instead of addressing “master”.
When addressing the addressee, it is necessary to take into account the scope of his activity and official position. The neutral word "respected" is also not universal, it is not included in the formula of a nominal address to a particularly important person. Such a person is considered not only a high official (members of the government, parliament, governors, mayors), but also an honored worker of science, art, a well-known public figure. In letters to such people, appeals are used: “Dear ...”, “Dear ...”, for example, “Dear Nikolai Vasilyevich!”
In a number of letters, when a particular person is considered as a subject civil relations, the word "citizen" is used as an address.
When referring to a collective addressee, the most commonly used expressions are:
Dear Sirs!
Ladies and gentlemen!
Dear Colleagues! (when referring to persons of the same profession)
Dear Veterans!
Asking the people around you correctly is actually not as difficult as it seems. The main thing is to always be ready for failure. Well, they refuse and refuse. After all, the person you are asking for may have a really good reason to refuse you, or it is simply unacceptable for him. If you don't get offended, then you won't be constrained in communication. As the aphorism that has already become popular says: "Be simpler and people will be drawn to you." And in case of refusal, you almost always have a fallback option, you just need to look at the environment.
So, how to ask people for help, phrases and wording
Try casually, or setting a comic tone to the conversation, ask:
- I've been wanting to turn to you for a long time: ... help me out;
- Can I ask you for one favor... ;
- I have a little business for you, I know that you understand this issue ... ;
- If I ask you, it won't be hard for you to do for me...;
- Sorry for asking, but only you can help me in this matter...;
- Take my place... I can't help asking you;
- I'm even a little embarrassed to ask you this request, but...;
- I want to ask you... can you help?
With such simple formulations, you can ask a person for any favor or act, the main thing is to take courage and shake out all the cockroaches that stop you. The main thing is to be prepared for failure in advance and treat it as simply as possible.
But that is not all. Most main secret in asking for something from people from childhood, it can help you a lot, and this word " Please". Not every person will be able to refuse hearing a simple word "please" after your request.
Try to use these tips in life as often as possible if you feel stuck when you need to ask for something, and after a certain period of time you will be able to ask anyone without any complexes.
Etiquette is a set of rules of conduct in which one way or another a person's attitude towards other people is manifested. Etiquette has a pronounced situational character. The need to choose one or another word, gesture or some other etiquette sign, first of all, is due to a specific situation. Etiquette situations may be associated either with everyday communication, or with festive events, the performance of certain rituals, or with special circumstances like a guest reception or a dinner party. What rules of treatment exist in the world of human relations? How to properly address a person? Friend, boss unfamiliar man or a woman. Such situations happen all the time, when we constantly need to choose one or another variant of communication. So take into account some practical advice regarding the general norms and rules of treatment in our culture.
Types of contact with each other
- Official;
- Friendly;
- Familiar.
- If you work with your close friends or relatives, then of course, when communicating with them in an official setting in the presence of strangers, you must use “You” and it is better to call each other by their first and middle names.
- If someone calls you impolitely and extremely unpleasant for you, for example, “Hey, you!”, You should not respond to this response, you can ignore it. It is also not necessary to resort to moralizing, you can teach him a lesson by your behavior.
- When during a quarrel one of the participants switches to “you”, thereby trying to humiliate the enemy, this is by no means a demonstration of his superiority, but on the contrary, a person shows his true traits: bad manners, short temper and lack of patience. Of course, it's hard to hold back when they are rude, but be above it. Believe me, your calmness and poise will do their job: the rude person will feel his inadequacy and weakness in relation to you.
- If in any team that is new to you, everyone refers to each other as “you”, and you are used to “You”, you should accept the rules of the team, and not dictate your own. But before switching to “you”, it is recommended that you first contact your colleagues with “You”. If you have been corrected, feel free to use "you", but if not, then you must use "you".
- When telling someone about people, it is not customary to talk about them in the third person - "he" or "she". Even when talking about close relatives, you should use the name.
